By the time he lifted his head and stared into her glassy eyes, they were both breathing hard. But he still had a point to drive home, and this time he did it with harsh and direct words. "Giving you what you want-fucking you-would be so easy to do, Sydney," he said, his voice low and rough. "But I want to give you what you need."
Her bottom lip trembled ever so slightly, "You have no idea what I need," she whispered raggedly, still intent on denying any shred of feeling she had for him.
"That's where you're wrong. I do know what you need, because I need the same thing." Releasing her, he stepped back, and wasn't quite sure what to make of the flash of panic he saw in her eyes. But that was part of their problem… her inability to share those fears and insecurities with him.
But he had no qualms about putting himself out there for her, his heart and soul, wholly and completely. "It's okay to let someone love you, Sydney," he said gently, and felt his chest tighten when a telling moisture filled her eyes. "It's okay to let me love you, because I'm not going to hurt you, or disappoint you the way so many people in your past have. But I want more than a temporary sexual fix or a hot affair, and you deserve more than that, too."
She lifted her chin a fraction and said nothing. The woman was so damn stubborn, and deeply wounded, and she wasn't nearly as tough as she wanted everyone to believe.
"I'm going to go, just like you asked me to," he said, leaving any chance at a future together solely up to her. He managed a small smile. "If someday you decide you want to give the whole relationship thing a try, you know where to find me."
On impulse, he stepped back toward her and brushed his lips along her cheek in a soft kiss, and took a few selfish seconds to breathe in her scent so he could memorize it for later. When he pulled back, he had to steel himself against the devastated look on her face, and it took every ounce of strength he possessed to turn around and walk out of her life.
Chapter Eighteen
"YOU'RE awfully quiet. Are you okay?"
Lora turned her gaze from the passenger window of Joel's SUV to the man sitting in the driver's seat as he navigated the way to his sister's gallery opening in downtown Chicago. Between watching the road and glancing at her, she caught glimpses of concern in his gaze and summoned a reassuring smile.
"Yeah, I'm good." As good as to be expected, she supposed, considering it was only a matter of time before the two of them went their separate ways.
It had been three days since they'd left Zach behind at the cabin with Kevin, and Joel's guys had begun the process of tracking down Lanny Mendoza to pay off her brother's debt. Once that was done, and her safety was no longer an issue, there was no reason for Joel to be by her side twenty-four/seven. He'd already made mention of a security case that was previously lined up for him, and he seemed anxious to get back to real work.
She knew the end was inevitable, yet there was that deep-seated hope she couldn't help but harbor that Joel would come around and give the two of them a chance. But he'd made his stand on relationships more than clear, and she was forced to accept that their affair had been as temporary as his presence in her life.
"Try not to feel too overwhelmed by my family, okay?" Joel's tone was light, as was the easygoing grin he cast her way. "According to Mia, just about everyone is going to be at the opening, so I'm sure you'll be whisked around for a dozen or more introductions. There's my brothers and their wives, and my cousins and their spouses, too."
"Actually, I'm looking forward to meeting everyone." And, she was interested in watching his family dynamics in action.
"The only ones you won't get to meet are the parents, and the little ones." He put on his blinker and made a right-hand turn down a side street. "Mia felt too uneasy about having toddlers in the gallery with all the glass designs, so the grandparents offered to stay at home and watch the rugrats."
She rested her head against the back of the seat and smiled at him. "That was nice of them."
"Are you kidding? They're loving having grandkids and want to be around them any chance they get." He pulled into a parking lot, which was already half filled, and found a spot near the entrance of the gallery. "Before long we're going to have an entire soccer team at family gatherings," he said, genuine affection in his tone.
She laughed, easily imagining Joel as an uncle, with little ones clamoring for his attention. Despite his rough and tough exterior, the man had a huge, caring heart. She'd seen it numerous times over the past few weeks, and it was just one of the many wonderful qualities he possessed that she'd fallen in love with.
Yeah, she was in love with Joel Wilde. Deeply. Irrevocably. In ways that defied anything she'd ever felt before, and she instinctively knew her heart would never be the same again.
Refusing to dwell on those thoughts tonight, she got out of the car with Joel and they headed toward the front of Wilde Designs. Joel's hand lightly touched that sensitive spot at the base of her spine that he'd kissed just days ago while doing other more erotic things to her body, and she shivered at the delicious memory.
"Are you cold?" he asked.
"Ummm, no." It was the first week in November, and there was a definite autumn nip in the air, but she'd worn a sweater top with a calf-length skirt and stylish boots, so she was plenty warm. It was other, more intimate things giving her the chills. "I'm okay."
He continued to escort her toward the gallery, the front of which was all framed in plate glass, enabling people who were window shopping to see directly into the shop and admire all the gorgeous stained glass designs glimmering beneath bright, strategically placed lights. Joel held the door open for her, and they stepped inside the shop, where a small crowd was already milling about and viewing all the dazzling works of art on display and for sale. The showroom buzzed with light chatter and bursts of delighted laughter, and an exuberant energy added to the lively atmosphere.
Since Joel didn't see any of his family right away, the two of them casually strolled from one partitioned room to the next to view the amazing artwork. There were butterflies and flowers and various animals all reproduced in colorful shards of glass, along with other abstract patterns, but Lora found herself drawn to one of the stained glass designs in particular-a stunning picture of a beautiful blond-haired fairy with iridescent wings who was sitting in a meadow of exotic flowers. The name of the piece was "Midsummer Dream," and it was absolutely breathtaking.
Because Joel had explained to her that his sister's designs had a sensual twist to them, it didn't take her long to see the entwined couple meshed within the riot of wild-flowers.
"They're right here, aren't they?" she said in awe, and pointed to the subtle shades of glass that formed the couple's erotic embrace.
"Yes, they are," a female voice said from behind them, before Joel could reply.
Both she and Joel turned around at the same time. Lora smiled at the beautiful woman, with her thick, shoulder-length black hair, smoky silver eyes, and striking features. She was wearing a silk sapphire blue dress that was both elegant and sexy, and her face glowed with happiness.
The woman glanced from Lora to Joel, and she gave him a wide-eyed once-over. "Joel?" She asked incredulously. "Is that really you?"
He rolled his eyes at her dubious tone. "Cut the crap, Mia," he drawled good-naturedly, and pulled her into a heartfelt hug, which she returned just as warmly.
Mia was laughing when she pulled back. "You clean up real nice, Joel," she said, more sincere this time. "You were way overdue for a haircut, and it's always nice to see you in something other than black," she teased.