“I know,” he coughed. “Wrap your arms around m-my neck and hang on. I can get us there f-faster—” Another wave rolled over their heads, filling their ears and mouths. And Eve wondered, as the frigid water swirled above her, whether or not they could actually make it. Any relief she’d felt upon seeing Billy beside her leaked from her to sink down to the pitch-black bottom of the lake. If he died while trying to save her, she’d never forgive herself…
Of course, she’d be dead, too. So yeah. There was that…
They bobbed to the surface, buoyed by their life vests, hacking up lake water. “I’ll get us there f-faster on my own!” he yelled.
And though she hated the fact that he was right—because he was right—hated the fact that, in this instance, she really did need saving, her ego wasn’t so big that she let it keep her from doing as he instructed. Releasing the lifeline, she wrapped her frozen, numb arms around his neck. In the next instant, they surged through the chop, his big shoulder muscles and sleek back muscles working beneath her as he pulled them through the turgid water toward the rolling boat.
She didn’t know how long he worked as she did nothing but hang on. It felt like hours but could’ve only been a minute. And then, suddenly, Summer Lovin’ rode the swell directly in front of them. And with a strength Eve would later marvel at, Billy hauled them the last few feet, managing to hook an arm around her waist and boost her up onto the swim ladder bolted to the back of the sailboat.
“Climb up!” he bellowed. And, yep, that should’ve been easy. There were just three measly rungs, after all. But her entire body was frozen.
He must’ve seen her trouble as she clung to the back of the boat, unable to move, unable to feel the fingers wrapped around the top wrung. With a curse, he grabbed the sides of the ladder when the boat sank into the bottom of another swell. Then, somehow he managed to climb over her and into the vessel. Hooking his hands under her armpits, with a grunt and mighty heave, he hauled her aboard.
And the only thing better than feeling Billy pressed against her in all that freezing water? Feeling the slick slats of the sailboat beneath her feet. Well, in all honestly she couldn’t actually feel them. But when she glanced down at her pink, polished toenails, she knew they were there.
Holy moly! We actually made it!
She couldn’t believe it!
“Come on!” Billy yelled, half dragging/half stumbling with her into the covered cockpit just as the rain picked up in intensity. “Sit!” he ordered, pushing her into the captain’s chair and tossing a towel over her shoulders, chafing her arms until her skin began to sting. But that was a good thing, wasn’t it? Stinging skin was reheating skin.
“W-w-what happened?” she asked through chattering, clenched teeth.
“The main mast was struck by lightning,” he told her, moving his chafing to her sides. “The force of it knocked you off the deck into the water.”
“Lightning?” She couldn’t believe it. Boats weren’t often struck, but when they were, it was usually catastrophic to the electronics on board.
“The navigation system?” she asked, and he moved slightly to the left so she could see the electrical panels on the console. The dark electrical panels. Not one light glowed on the entire vessel when she glanced around.
“The radio is shot, too,” he informed her, raising his voice above the driving sound of the rain on the roof. “And I’m assuming…” He peeled up the Velcro on the pocket of his swim trunks and pulled out his iPhone. Pressing the power button, she didn’t need to see the darkened screen to know the cell phone was a dead stick. The information was written all over Billy’s scowling face. “We’re on our own here,” he muttered. Which was true. Because her phone was shoved in an evidence locker somewhere back in Chicago.
And though her mind should’ve been filled with all sorts of logistics—like the tricky business of navigating the boat without the electronics, like the danger of riding out the storm when the waves and wind seemed to be getting worse and worse—she instead found herself occupied with one and only one thought. This was the fifth time she’d almost died in less than three months, and if things kept going like this, chances were pretty good she might not survive the sixth.
And she’d never told Billy she loved him.
It seemed such an easy thing to say, such an easy thing to admit, so why hadn’t she? Was she still, deep down, that cowardly eighteen-year-old? Was she still—
“Hey.” He pulled her into his arms, pressing her against his warm, wet chest, palming the back of her head. When she sucked a breath in through her nose—a deep breath that brought the crisp smell of lake water combined with the burnt rubber aroma of fried electrical wire casings—she realized her lips were trembling and hot, salty tears were pouring over her lower lids. “It’s all right, now. We’re going to be all right. I know you’ve been through hell, sweetheart. I know it must seem like the world is out to get you. But you just need to hold on for a little while longer, okay? Just hold on for a little while longer, and I promise you—”
“I’ve been holding on by sheer force of will these last f-few days,” she whispered against his shoulder. “H-holding myself together, so you’d see I’m not that same cowardly girl from twelve years ago.”
“Eve—”
“But I can’t h-hold myself together anymore.” She talked over him, her voice rising with every word out of her mouth. Now that she’d started, she couldn’t stop. “And I c-can’t hold it in anymore. I love you, Billy. I’ve always loved you. And it’s okay if you don’t love me back. Because if these last few days have taught me anything, it’s that I don’t want to live with regrets anymore. And I regret not telling you right from the very start that I still love you. And I will always love you.” She felt him still against her. The hands that’d been rubbing up and down her back stopped on her shoulders. “And it’s a love with no strings attached. No expectations. Just a one-way love. F-freely given.”
That’s what she said. And she meant it when she said it. She really did. But, naturally, there was a part of her, a really big, really hopeful part of her, that wanted Billy to reiterate her words, to return her love. So when he gently pushed back, his brown eyes searching her face, his expression somewhere between anguish and sadness, a monster wave of grief threatened to overwhelm her as all that hope was washed away like the water washing over the hull of Summer Lovin’.
“Eve, I—”
“Shh.” She pressed a cold finger over his lips. “You don’t have to say anything.”
“But, I—” Just then, the boat was pulled off course by the power of the current, the mainsail lost the wind, and the vessel rolled violently.
Cursing, Billy turned to grab the wheel.
She watched the muscles in his back and shoulders bunch as he wrestled the vessel back into the face of the storm, as the mainsail once again snapped tight. Then she blew out a shaky breath and thought, It’s done.
She’d gone all in. Put all her chips on the table. Played her last hand. Unfortunately, this time, the cards hadn’t gone her way. Not that she should be surprised, really. The cards hadn’t gone her way in a very long time.
But at least you had last night, a voice whispered through her head. And at least you finally told him the truth…
Yes. She could find comfort in those things, she supposed. She could find comfort in them because they were the only things she still had left to hold on to…