I didn't have the voice to explain. All that came out was air. Douglas put his ear close to my mouth. "He can't tell you. I programmed him to regard me as the primary authority."I waved the monkey close. It crawled up my chest, picking its way carefully. "Tell Douglas everything he needs to know,"I whispered.
"Thank you," said the monkey. It turned back to Douglas.
DEMONSTRATION
The next morning, Mom and Dad joined us at our table on the right side of the courtroom. Judge Cavanaugh noticed–he gave us the raised eyebrow–but he made no official comment until he had disposed of various housekeeping matters, and denied a whole raft of motions from various attorneys, including several petitions for a change of venue to Mars, Titan, and L5. That took the better part of the morning, but the fines were enough to fill a small lake.
At last, impatiently, Cavanaugh rapped his gavel and said, "Some of you courthouse parasites do notlisten very well. I thought I made it clear yesterday that the patience of this court has been exhausted." He rapped again. "The cost per motion in this case is now raised again–this time from one thousand liters to five thousand liters of water. If that doesn't slow down the torrent of paperwork, I'll raise it to ten thousand. Or more. Not that it'll matter. Whoever is financing the lot of you probably has pockets deep enough to flood Tycho to a depth of twenty meters. And that might not be a bad idea either. Then we could drown the whole pack of you. If I didn't think it would poison the soil, I'd have you all turned into fertilizer."
Judge Cavanaugh finally turned to look at us. "Why couldn't the lot of you have gone to Mars?" he said in exasperation. "Am I to assume from the change in seating arrangements that the custody part of this case has been resolved?"
Douglas stood up. "Yes, Your Honor. Our parents are withdrawing their claims. I'm authorized to speak for the entire family."
"Is that correct, Max Dingillian? Margaret J. Dingillian nйe Campbell?"
Mom and Dad nodded.
"All right!" Cavanaugh looked pleased. "Some real progress in this case. Let it be noted in the record that two of the custody claims have been withdrawn. That leaves us with–by last count–only seventy‑nine separate claims of ownership on the devices in Robert Dingillian's toy monkey." One of his clerks handed him a hastily scribbled note and a folder of papers. Judge Cavanaugh opened the folder, turned the pages in annoyance, and then turned back to Douglas. "Unfortunately, young man, the bad news is, we have eleven newcustody claims filed against you and your brothers as of this morning."
"Sir?"
"Five different Lunar agencies have taken the position that your dangerous behavior since arriving on Luna is evidence that you three boys lack proper supervision and should be placed under the immediate care of an appropriate social agency. Three of these filings are actually from 'appropriate social agencies'–isn't that a coincidence? Four other filings are from private individuals who are only doing this for your own good, of course. One is from the Rock Father tribe, whose representative claims that due to your inexperience and impulsiveness, you endangered your own lives and his repeatedly.That should be veryinteresting testimony. He's asking for immunity in exchange for his appearance here. I'm almost tempted to grant it, just for the fun of getting him on the witness stand."
"Your Honor?" Douglas said gently.
"Yes, young man?"
"May I address the court?"
"Can you be brief?"
"I hope so." Douglas stepped around the table. "My brothers and I are very concerned about the way this is getting out of hand. We think there's a way to resolve this. We've retained the services of … of … that is, we have arranged for representation. If the court will indulge us in this–we'd like to have our case argued by–"
"By?" Judge Cavanaugh looked impatient.
Bobby swung the monkey up off his lap and onto the table in front of him.
"–by the monkey."
Judge Cavanaugh blinked. Surprised. Then he grinned. Very wide.
He got it, instantly. The rest of the courtroom was still buzzing in puzzlement and embarrassed giggles.
"You want a monkey for a lawyer … ?"
"Yes, Your Honor. With all due respect to this court, we've had to deal with so many other monkeys in so many other courtrooms, we felt it was only appropriate to bring in our own so we could compete on equal terms. No offense intended, sir." He said it deadpan.
"None taken."
By now, the folks on the other side of the room, and in the back of the chamber, were starting to figure out what was going on, and a rising chorus of objections began to All the air.
Judge Cavanaugh waved his gavel in the air. "You're all denied. Shut up!" He turned back to Douglas. "Do you know what you're doing, young man?"
"Yes, sir. The operative engine in this toy has been augmented with additional memory and processors. It is capable of understanding the legal procedures and the issues that are at stake in this case."
"You're sure about that?"
"We're satisfied that we have qualified representation, sir."
Judge Cavanaugh scratched his head. I wondered if he was going to pick a flea and eat it. He sighed. "Well … the precedent has been established–and more than once. In this very courtroom, in fact. Y'know, we used to have a shortage of lawyers on Luna. Those were the days. So we do recognize procedural assistance by qualified intelligence engines, but only for minor matters. We've never certified any robot for anything even half as complex as this promises to be. Are you sure you want to go this route? The court is prepared to assign a public defender to your case, if you wish–"
Douglas consulted briefly with the monkey, then turned back to the judge. "No, sir. We need–we prefer to have the monkey operate alone. Not as procedural assistance, but as our sole representative. A human partner would only compromise his autonomy–um, ability."
"This is very irregular, young man."
"Yes, sir. Excuse me a moment, sir." The monkey was tugging at his sleeve. Douglas bent down to listen, then faced the judge again. "Our representative is willing to submit himself to the court's review, so you can judge his ability for yourself."
Judge Cavanaugh hammered with his gavel for a moment, denied some more objections, and then turned back to us. "All right, let's try this out. Does your lawyer have a name?"
"He prefers to be called HARLIE, Your Honor." There were gasps from the back of the room. A door slammed behind us. Someone was escaping to make a phone call.
"HARLIE … " said the judge. "I'm pleased to meet you. This is going to be very interesting."
The monkey stepped forward to the edge of the table. "With the court's permission, I'd like to remain standing here on this table, so I can have an adequate view of all the proceedings myself, and at the same time remain visible to the court and accessible to my clients."
"Granted," said the judge. "Let's test your ability, HARLIE. Under what circumstances is it justifiable to break the law?"
"It's alwaysjustifiable, Your Honor. Human beings can and will justify any action–especially when they know it's wrong. Anyone who breaks the law will justify it. But I'm not sure that's the question you meant to ask."
"You're correct, I used the wrong word. Let's try it another way. Under what circumstances is it appropriateto break the law?"
"Hmmm, that's a very different question." The monkey looked thoughtful. It did not scratch itself. It did not eat an imaginary flea. It put its hands behind its back and paced back and forth along the table for a moment. I suspected that it could have answered immediately, and that this performance was for effect–to create the illusion that the question was hard enough to require some serious processing. At last the monkey stopped and held up an index finger, as if working the answer out in the air. "The question carries within it an assumption, which I need to address; otherwise, any answer I might give you would be incomplete or would be prey to misinterpretation.