I glared at him. “That’s your fault.”
“This marriage has always been for logical reasons. I told you that.”
“But that doesn’t mean we can’t try to make it a real marriage. There are no logical reasons why we shouldn’t sleep with each other. You slept with prostitutes, so why can’t you sleep with me?”
“Because I was angry and I wanted to fuck someone. I wanted it rough and hard. I wasn’t looking for closeness or tenderness or whatever it is you want. I took whatever pleasure I wanted, and then I left.
What you’re looking for, I can’t give you. The part that was capable of it died with my wife, and it won’t come back.”
“You don’t know what I want. Maybe we want the same thing.” My voice was a bare whisper.
He scoffed. “I can see in your eyes that it’s not true. You want to make love, but I can’t give you that. I do want to possess you, want to own every part of you, but not for the reasons you want me to. I’m a heartless bastard, Valentina. Don’t try to see anything else in me. The business suit and emotionless face is the thin layer covering up the fucking abyss that’s my soul and heart. Don’t try to glimpse beneath it, you won’t like what you find.”
I was too stunned for a comeback. Instead I watched him return to his office.
***
I spent the rest of the day considering my options. Dante didn’t want emotional attachment. He didn’t even want tenderness. Rough and hard, that were the words he used for the sex he’d sought from prostitutes. He was right. It wasn’t what I wanted, but over the years I’d learned that sometimes you had to settle for the lesser evil to reach some form of happiness. I wanted to have sex with Dante, maybe not the same way Dante did, but who said I wouldn’t like it? And he hadn’t exactly said that he’d be rough with me. He’d only said that I shouldn’t expect fluff and loving gestures from him. I could live with that, couldn’t I?
I wanted to be desired by him. Maybe that would be as good as being loved by him.
It was almost time for dinner but I was hungry for something else as I undressed quickly in our bedroom before I could change my mind and slipped a bathrobe on. I couldn’t walk naked through the house.
My stomach fluttering with nerves, I headed downstairs and toward Dante’s office. I knocked, and this time I waited for him to call me in as I didn’t want to start this seduction attempt with a fight, even if
our argument in the bedroom yesterday had been a huge turn-on for me. He opened the door without a word. His cool eyes slid over my body. I wondered if he could tell that I was naked beneath the thin material of my bathrobe.
“Can I come in?”
He stepped back and I walked in. I could hear the door close and then Dante strode past me and turned to me with an inquiring expression. “What’s going on?”
“I made up my mind.”
“About what?”
I opened my bathrobe. “About us. About sex.”
Dante’s eyes darkened. Clenching his jaw, he shook his head and began to turn away. “You should leave.”
“Don’t turn your back on me. Look at me. I think I deserve at least that small decency, Dante.”
Tension radiated off of him when he turned around to me. He didn’t move closer but he was looking at me. For once, he didn’t pretend I was invisible. His blue eyes wandered over my exposed body.
My nipples hardened in the cool air of his office but I didn’t close my silk bathrobe, despite the overwhelming urge to cover myself against Dante’s cold scrutiny. His gaze lingered on the apex of my thighs slightly longer than on the rest of my body and a small burst of hope filled me. How much control did he have? “Am I your wife?”
His brows drew together. “Of course, you are.” There was the hint of something I couldn’t place in his voice.
“Then claim your rights, Dante. Make me yours.”
He didn’t move, but his eyes slid down to my erect nipples. His gaze was almost something physical, like a ghost touch on my naked skin, but it wasn’t nearly enough. I wanted to feel his fingers between my legs again, wanted to feel them on every inch of my body, wanted to come until I lost track of all my problems.
I wasn’t above begging. I knew I almost had him, could see in the tight set of his shoulders, in the unhinged look in his eyes. I wanted to have sex tonight. “I have needs too. Would you prefer if I found a lover who relieved you of the burden to touch me?” I wasn’t sure I could go through with it. No, I knew I couldn’t go through with it, but this act of provocation was my last option. If Dante didn’t react to that, then I didn’t know what else to do.
“No,” he said sharply, something angry and possessive breaking through his perfect mask. He pressed his lips together, jaw locked, and walked toward me. I shivered with need and excitement when he
stopped in front of me. He didn’t reach for me but I thought I detected the hint of desire in his eyes. It wasn’t much, but enough to embolden me. I bridged the remaining distance between us and curled my fingers over his strong shoulders, pressing my naked body against his front. The rough material of his business suit rubbed deliciously against my sensitive nipples and I let out a small moan. The pressure between my legs was almost unbearable. Dante’s eyes flashed as he looked down at me. Slowly he wrapped an arm around me and rested his palm flat against my lower back. I wished he’d move it lower. I didn’t think I’d ever been so desperate for someone else’s touch, not even when I had to listen to Antonio fuck Frank in the room next door.
Sweet triumph flooded me. Dante wasn’t ignoring me now.
I tilted my head up to look into his face. Whatever desire I’d thought I’d seen was gone, his walls up and impenetrable. I stood on my tiptoes, desperate for a real kiss, but Dante’s hand on my back tightened and he didn’t angle his face down, making it impossible for me to brush my lips against his.
He didn’t want me to kiss him. I couldn’t take this anymore. I’d thrown myself at him naked, had offered him my body and myself, and still he refused me. I wrenched away from him, feeling dirty and cheap. Avoiding his eyes, I whirled around, clutched my bathrobe closed and hurried out of his office. I crossed the lobby and ran up the stairs. This was it. I wouldn’t try again. I’d have to accept that Dante didn’t desire me enough, that he wouldn’t sleep with me for whatever silly reasons he’d listed until it was absolutely necessary to produce an heir.
I stumbled into the bedroom and flung myself on the bed. For a moment, a rush of despair and sadness gripped my body, but I didn’t let it win. I’d survived a marriage with Antonio. I could survive a loveless marriage with Dante. Some day I would have beautiful children I could love and who would love me back and until then I could deal. I wasn’t the first woman in our world who had to live with a cold bastard as a husband, and I definitely wouldn’t be the last. At least, I didn’t have an abusive asshole like Tommaso as a husband. That had to count for something.
And I would just have to take care of my other needs as I had done in the last few years. I rolled onto my back. I was still angry, still embarrassed and disappointment, but I was also still aroused. I closed my eyes and slipped my hand down my body and between my legs. I began stroking myself, imagining it were Dante’s fingers teasing me again, remembering the brief flicker of desire in his eyes that I’d probably imagined. My breathing came faster as I caressed my sensitive nub. I was getting closer. A moan slipped out of my lips, and there was a sharp intake of breath.
My eyes flew open and I stared at Dante; he stood in the doorway, hand on the door handle and eyes on me. For once they didn’t look cold. God, how long had he been watching me?
I jerked my hand out between my legs, mortification slamming through me like a wrecking ball. I clutched my bathrobe against my chest and scrambled for the edge of the bed. I couldn’t stay in a room with Dante, not after what he’d just seen. I’d embarrassed myself enough today, but Dante barred my way, suddenly in front of me. His tall form loomed over me. I threw my head back to meet his gaze.