“But you want that for our future son?” I asked softly. Dante brushed a strand of hair back from my shoulders. “It’s the way things are, Val. I will protect all of our children for as long as I can, but eventually our son, at least, will have to brave the dangers of our world. But he’ll be strong.”
“My father always treated my brother Orazio with brutal harshness and your own father tortured you to toughen you up. Sometimes I don’t want a son because I worry that he’ll have to suffer through the same things.” I didn’t think I could stand back and watch Dante treat our son like that. Even my mother had protected Orazio occasionally when Papà had been too strict. Not that he’d ever abused Orazio as Fiore had done with Dante.
“I will have to be stricter with our son, but I won’t be like my father, I swear.”
I nodded. I believed him.
I could tell that I was starting to tire already, although I’d hardly done anything. “I should grab a shower now. I’m supposed to lie down again soon.”
Dante followed me into the bathroom, his eyes on me as I stepped out of my shoes. I reached for the zipper in the back of my dress but Dante beat me to it. His thumb traced the bumps of my spine as he pulled the zipper down, and I could feel it all the way down to my toes. The dress pooled at my feet.
Now there were only my tights. Dante eased them down my legs, then let his gaze slowly travel up my body as he knelt before me. I wanted nothing more than to fall in his arms and feel him inside me.
Licking my lips, I whispered. “This is going to be hard.” Dante straightened, his expression confirming my words. “Take a shower. I’ll wait here in case you feel faint.”
“You could shower with me,” I said.
Dante looked hesitant, then he nodded. He got out of his clothes and when he turned to me I could see he was already half erect.
“I thought you have self-control,” I teased.
Dante steered me toward the shower, steadying me. “I have, or my fingers would already be delving into your wet heat.”
He turned the shower on, letting the warm water rain down on us before he closed the shower stall and turned to face me, hands on my hips. “How do you know I’m wet?” I asked in a challenging tone.
Dante picked up the sponge and rubbed it lightly over my breasts and stomach. Then he leaned close until his mouth was against my ear. “Because I could see it when I knelt before you. You were wet for me.”
I was. I didn’t think I’d ever wanted him as much as I wanted him now that we weren’t allowed to sleep with each other. We washed each other with the sponge, occasionally kissing and our breathing was coming faster with every passing moment. Dante’s erection was hard and red. “Do you want me to blow you?” I whispered as I was pressed up against Dante. He groaned as my fingers curled around his shaft, but then his hand stilled my motions and he pulled my hand away from his hard-on. “No,” he rasped. He didn’t sound very convincing. “I’m fine.”
He turned me around so my back was pressed against his chest and his erection was sandwiched between his stomach and my back. His arms came around my belly, palms pressed against my skin and he kissed my neck lightly. “I think we should get out. You need to lie down.”
I didn’t protest. All the naked kissing was making it more difficult to suppress my desire for him.
Dante helped me dry myself and he looked almost relieved when I was finally dressed in comfortable satin pajamas and stretched out on our bed. Dante and I would have to deal with our desires in the next few weeks. Our baby was more important than anything else.
Dante cradled me in his arms as his fingers raked through my hair. “Thank you for never giving up on me, Val.”
“I knew my stubbornness would come in handy one day,” I said with a small laugh.
***
Six weeks later the doctors decided to perform a C-section. It was still eight weeks too early but the risk of an infection had become too great. Dante didn’t budge from my side as they cut open my belly.
His presence, his steady gaze, the utter control and strength he emanated helped me tremendously.
With Dante at my side, I knew nothing would go wrong. As if by the sheer power of his will he could make things turn out okay. Dante could make you believe that he was in control of the situation even when he wasn’t.
He held my hand throughout the C-section and when the first cry sounded, he sought out my eyes before we both turned toward our daughter, wrinkled and smeared as the nurse presented her to us. I let go of Dante’s hand. “Go to our daughter. Go.” He seemed reluctant to leave my side but after he’d brushed a kiss against my forehead, he straightened and headed toward the end of the operating table.
Dante didn’t even twitch at the amount of blood, but I hadn’t expected him to. If the nurses and doctors were surprised by his calm, they hid it, or maybe they believed the rumors about Dante: that he was a high-ranking mafia boss. Of course, nobody would ever confirm these suspicions. After a few moments, the nurse handed him our daughter, wrapped in a blanket. She looked tiny in Dante’s arm as he peered down at her with the softest expression I’d ever seen. There was something fierce there too, and it replaced the gentleness when he glanced up to find the nurses and doctors watching him. I knew our daughter would be safe.
Dante’s eyes spoke of protectiveness, of pure determination to destroy anything and anyone that meant her harm. Turning his gaze away from the hospital staff, Dante approached me with our daughter and lowered himself to the chair beside my head so he could show me our little girl. I knew the doctor would have to take her away soon. She’d have to spend some time in the incubator before she could come home with us. “She’s so beautiful,” I whispered. I didn’t even care that the doctors were busy stitching me back together, or that Dante and I weren’t alone.
“She is, just like you,” Dante said quietly. I ran a finger over her cheek. She blinked at me with her glassy eyes. Her hair was blond like Dante’s, albeit still matted. She was tiny and I wanted nothing more than to protect her.
“Anna,” I said, for the first time calling her by the name Dante and I had chosen only days before.
“Your dad will always love you and keep you safe.”
Dante kissed Anna’s, then my forehead. “You and Anna, both.”
I searched his eyes and the tears I’d successfully held back up till that point finally found their way out.
EPILOGUE
I lowered myself into the hot water in our bathtub with a sigh. Anna had finally fallen asleep in her crib and Gaby would spend the night with her in the nursery to make sure she was alright. Dante had a meeting with my father down in the office. Though I suspected the sudden increase in short meetings was the result of my father’s eagerness to see Anna as often as possible. He definitely didn’t share Fiore Cavallaro’s disappointment over having gotten a granddaughter instead of a grandson. It had been only five weeks since I’d given birth to our daughter and I could already hardly imagine how it had been before her. But tonight I needed some time for me…and Dante. Luckily, Anna had hit a phase of long stretches of uninterrupted sleep. She sometimes slept for up to five hours without a hitch.
I leaned back in the tub and closed my eyes, relaxing for the first time today. My fingers itched to slip between my legs to alleviate the tension there, but I didn’t. It had been months since Dante and I had been intimate and tonight I wanted that to change. Dante had been nothing but patient but I didn’t miss that he always took a long time in the shower. I didn’t have to guess what he was doing. Now that my scar had healed I couldn’t wait to be with him again. Only this time it would be different. For the first time, I’d know he loved me while he’d make love to me, even if he’d never said the words aloud. The way he looked at me and Anna was worth more than all the spoken declarations of love in the world.