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To: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Tim Grabowksi <timothy.grabowski@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Ida Lopez
Hey, Katie, Ida’s one of yours, right? If so, you’ve got to do whatever you can to get this pie thing with Hertzog straightened out. Ida is the lifeblood of theNY Journal . Without her and her dessert cart, I for one will not be able to go on. And I think I speak for a lot of people here when I say if there’s anybody who does not deserve pie, it is Stu Hertzog.
Counting on you, as the only human in Human Resources (not including Jen, of course) to Do the Right Thing—
T.
To: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Nadine Wilcock-Salerno <nadine.salerno@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Ida Lopez
Say it isn’t so! The rumor mill has it that Amy Jenkins is asking for the head of our best baker on a silver platter. DON’T GIVE IT TO HER!!!!!!!! WE NEED IDA’S CARROT CAKE! If possible, hooked into an IV and attached to my arm.
I mean it, Kate, don’t let them fire her.
Nad ;-)
To: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Melissa Fuller-Trent <melissa.fullertrent@trentcapital.com>
Re: Ida Lopez
Dear Kate,
I was in the senior staff room today when Ida Lopez refused to serve pie to Stuart Hertzog, the paper’s legal counsel. All I can say is, Mr. Hertzog really was unforgivably rude to Mrs. Lopez, even before she refused to serve him—I mean, he acted like he had some kind of inalienable right to pie—and if you need me to make a sworn statement to that effect or anything, I would be willing to. Only please don’t let them fire Mrs. Lopez . . . her chocolate chip cookies are out of this world.
Sincerely,
Mel Fuller-Trent
Features
The NY Journal
To: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thethenyjournal.com>
Fr: George Sanchez <george.sanchez@thethenyjournal.com>
Re: Cookie Lady
Don’t fire her.
I mean it. Her gingersnaps are the only thing that keep me sane around here. Besides Mountain Dew.
George Sanchez
Managing Editor
The NY Journal
To: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Dolly Vargas <dolly.vargas@thenyjournal.com>
Re: That cafeteria lady
Darling, you simply can’t let them get rid of that little dessert-cart person. Her low-fat yogurt muffins are to DIE FOR. I myself have had her cater numerous events, and have received nothing but compliments . . . her carrot cake is simply DIVINE (if not exactly easy for those of us doing the low-carb thing to resist).
And really, if you get rid of her, who are you going to get to replace her? Good help doesn’t grow on trees, you know.
XXXOOO
Dolly
P.S. Thanks for helping to bail me out of that nasty little thing with Aaron Spender. Isn’t it the pits when they go all John Hinckley on you? So glad he took that job withNewsweek, I can’t even tell you! XXOO—D
To: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Dessert Cart Lady
It is all over the building that the T.O.D. is going to give the Dessert Cart Lady the heave ho for not handing over a piece of pie to Stu Hertzog at lunch today. Is this true?
J
To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Ida Lopez
It’s true. The T.O.D. says *I* have got to fire her. Today. Jen, how am I supposed to fire that sweet old lady? This has to be a mistake. English isn’t her first language. Maybe there was a misunderstanding. I mean, she always calls me dearie when she sees me in the hallway, and sneaks me chocolate chip cookies, even though as a new hire I am not even allowed in the senior staff dining room. Plus everyone—EVERYONE—at the paper loves her.
Everyone except Stuart Hertzog, apparently.
But he’s a lawyer.A LAWYER. What does that tell you about his abilities as a judge of character? Hmmm?
Oh my God, I wish I had called in sick today.
Kate
To: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Dessert Cart Lady
Amy is such a bitch. You know she’s totally in love with Hertzog, right? Tim up in Computers says he saw them at Il Buco last Saturday, with their tongues down each other’s throats. I mean, she’s all but picked out the china pattern. That’s the only reason she gives a crap about Ida.
I wonder if she’ll change her name when the time comes. If anyone deserves to be Mrs. Stuart Hertzog, it’s the T.O.D.
You know what I heard? Hertzog has a cigar-store Indian in his office. He thinks just because he’s a big shot in his daddy’s firm—like his father before him, and his father before him, and so on—nobody’s going to say anything about how unPC it is, or the fact that he’s such a pedantic phony.
Maybe that’s why Ida wouldn’t give him pie.
All I have to say is, that suit he had on today had to cost three grand, easy. It was Armani.
But it doesn’t matter how well he dresses, he’ll still always look like Barney fromThe Flintstones.
Have you tried reasoning with the T.O.D.? I realize it probably won’t work, but you can be pretty persuasive, when you bat those baby-blues of yours.
J
To: Amy Jenkins <amy.jenkins@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Ida Lopez
Amy, are you really sure terminating Mrs. Lopez is the best idea? I mean, like you said, she is extremely popular with the staff. I have been inundated with e-mails from members of the staff—some of them senior members—asking that she not be let go.
It is possible that Mrs. Lopez might benefit from going through customer-service training again. Maybe if we go ahead with the written warning from last week’s infraction, she’ll straighten up. Like you yourself said at last month’s Staff Relations Committee meeting, termination represents not just a failure on the employee’s part, but a failure on the part of her supervisor, as well!
Kate
To: Kate Mackenzie <kathleen.mackenzie@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Amy Jenkins <amy.jenkins@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Ida Lopez
I sincerely hope you are not questioning my authority in this matter, Kathleen. As someone who has less than a year of work here at theJournal under her belt, I would think the last thing you would want to do is question the actions of your direct supervisor—especially while you are still on employment probation.