Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Re: You
Hey, you. You okay? How you holding up? You had a lot of people worried about you. Your lawyer friend seems like a really nice guy. Attentive, too. Call me if you want to talk.
J
To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Re: Me
Yeah, a real nice guy. A real nice guy who got me fired.
Oh, and as if things weren’t bad enough, guess what I got this morning? I mean, besides an apology from Mitch—which is not anywhere near groveling enough, in my opinion. He had the nerve to ask me to dinner. Yeah! Dinner! Like that’s going to help get my job back.
I got an e-mail from VIVICA. You know, the supermodel? The one who does the Victoria’s Secret ads on TV?
Yeah. Guess who she’s interested in dating? Dale. But she wanted my input first. I’m Not Making Any More Sandwiches played at a fashion show, and she met him there. She wants to go out with him, but she doesn’t want to pursue it any further unless he likes driftwood sculptures, or something. I don’t know. I was too hung over to read her e-mail properly.
God. I should have just stayed in Kentucky. Seriously.
Kate
To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Re: You
No, you should not have stayed in Kentucky. If you had stayed in Kentucky, you never would have stopped wearing blue eyeshadow. Seriously, Kate, it was not a good look for you.
Also . . . you might never have met Mitch.
Kate, I know you might not believe this, but the guy was really hurting last night. He feels TERRIBLE about what happened with you and Amy. I really don’t think he saw it coming. I don’t know what exactly went down at the deposition—he told me a little about it—but his intention was NEVER to get you fired. I really think he’s on our side in all of this, Kate. I think he wanted to help get Mrs. Lopez’s job back . . . because he thought that’s what YOU wanted.
I think he also wanted to make Amy look like a liar, but whatever, that one backfired pretty badly, too.
I know you probably don’t feel too forgiving right now, but really, I think the guy meant well. And he didn’t even blink about his shoes. Yourbarf isn’t even gross to him. That has to mean something.
You know what he does, to stay in such great shape? Mitch, I mean? He volunteers at the Y. That’s how he got all those muscles you told me about. He plays wheelchair basketball. With paralyzed guys, you know?
Would a guy like that REALLY purposefully try to make a girl lose her job? No.
Now snap out of it. We’re going to get your job back. I promise.
And call the guy and say you’ll go to dinner with him.
J
To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Re: Me
Are you HIGH???? I’m not going to have dinner with Mitch Hertzog. Even if it is true about the wheelchair basketball. Or are you just saying that to get me to like him? Because if I find out it’s not true . . .
Not that it matters. THE GUY GOT ME FIRED, JEN.
And okay, maybe you’re right, and he didn’t mean it, and genuinely feels bad about it. But the fact is, I DON’T HAVE A JOB. Or a PERMANENT ADDRESS. Or . . . ANYTHING.
So even if he DOES like me and my barf, what do I have to bring to the relationship? Yeah, that’d be a big zero.
So what’s the point of having dinner with him? Because what would a totally PERFECT, WHEELCHAIR-BASKETBALL-PLAYING GUY LIKE THAT EVER SEE IN A JOBLESS REJECT LIKE ME????
Going to put my head in the oven.
Kate
To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Re: You
Fwd: l Say it isn’t so! l Kate l Kate
Well, before you kill yourself, check out these e-mails from your personnel. Do these sound like they’re from people who think you’re a reject? DO THEY?
Fwd: <katydid@freemail.com>
To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Nadine Wilcock-Salerno <nadine.salerno@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Say it isn’t so!
Is it really true? Kate got the axe? But WHY? She was the nicest personnel rep this stupid company ever had (present company excluded, of course)!
This REEKS of Amy Jenkins. Is she behind this? I knew that bitch was up to something the other day in the staff dining room, when I saw her actually lift a piece of buttered bread to her lips. I haven’t seen her go off Atkins in two years . . . I should have known she was celebrating.
What can I do to help get Kate back? Because if Amy thinks we’re lying down for this one, she’s high. She can tell us to be sweeties and wipe the seaties, and she can take away our Dessert Lady. But she can’t fire Kate and get away with it. No way.
Nad:-(
Fwd: l <katydid@freemail.com>
To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Mel Fuller-Trent <melissa.trent@trentcapital.com>
Re: Kate
Oh my God! Is it really true? Amy fired Kate? Why? Not for tardiness, I hope.
Jen, this is awful. Kate was SO nice to me when they were giving me that grief about going part-time. We have to DO something! What can I do? The Trents love holding benefits. Can we hold a benefit? For Kate? Just let me know, PLEASE!!!!
Mel
Fwd:<katydid@freemail.com>
To: Jen Sadler <Jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Tim Grabowski <timothy.grabowski@thenyjournal.com>
Re: Kate
I just heard. This means war. The T.O.D.’s aware of that, isn’t she? That in firing Kate, she’s alienating the entire Tech Dept? Because there isn’t a guy here who wouldn’t walk over hot coals for Kate. She’s the only one in that damn office (not including you, Jen) who treated us computer guys with anything remotely resembling respect. Not to mention compassion.
And she used to come to ourFarscape marathon parties, too.
What can we do to get her back? Just let us know, and it’s done.
Tim
To: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Fr: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Re: You
Do those sound like e-mails from people who are happy to see you go? No, they don’t. People here like you, Kate. MITCH likes you, too, barf on his shoes or not. Now cheer up.
Besides, you can’t put your head in Dolly’s oven, I just checked with her, and it’s electric. The worst that can happen is that you’ll bake yourself.
J
To: Jen Sadler <jennifer.sadler@thenyjournal.com>
Fr: Kate Mackenzie <katydid@freemail.com>
Re: Me
Thanks for the e-mails. I guess they made me feel better. A little.
I’m going out to buy a paper. I need to start looking for a new job. Not to mention a new apartment. But first things first.
Did I mention I hate everyone in the whole universe? Present company excluded, of course.
Kate
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