“You weren’t?”
I shook my head. There had been a part of me that had been considering it. “I couldn’t sleep. There’s a lot going on in my head.”
“That’s understandable.” His eyes drifted over me, settling on my cheek. “How is it?”
I tipped my head, shielding my face. “It’s fine.”
He looked away a moment, then his gaze swung back to me. “You’ve been through worse, I know, but still. You should’ve never had to deal with what you did… or with Jackson. Any of this really.”
“What do you mean?”
“Nothing—I’m just rambling.” Aiden’s shoulders relaxed as he glanced around the room. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been in here.”
I followed his gaze, which had landed on the bed. A warm flush went from my hair to the tips of my toes. A dozen or so vivid images danced in front of my eyes—all of them completely wrong considering everything that was going on.
“It was your first day back here,” he said, and a small grin appeared. “There were clothes on the floor then, too.”
Surprised, I focused on him—the real, completely clothed Aiden. Of course, he’d been in my living room area, but he was right. He hadn’t ventured any further than the couch. “You remember that?”
He nodded. “Yeah, I was lecturing you.”
“After I pulled Lea out of her chair by her hair.”
Aiden laughed and the sound warmed me. “You finally admit to it.”
“She kind of deserved it then.” I bit my lip as he looked up, his gaze meeting mine. What was he thinking right now? I sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m not going to do anything, even though I should. You don’t have to stay in here.”
Aiden was silent a couple of moments, then he made his way to where I was sitting and sat beside me. The air in the room suddenly got heavier, the bed smaller. The last time we’d been on a bed—and I’d been this close to being undressed—had been the night in his cabin. Impossibly, I grew warmer at the memory, and nervous—a lot more nervous. I should’ve stayed asleep.
“Why do you think you need to turn yourself in, Alex?”
I scooted back and tucked my legs under me. The distance helped a little. “Seth said that there’s a good chance Telly can prove that it was you or that he will make a move against everyone he suspects.”
He twisted around, facing me. “It doesn’t matter if he does, Alex. Going to Telly means the end of you. Don’t you understand that?”
“Not going to Telly could mean the end of you—of anyone who he thinks may have helped me.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“You sound like Seth—like no one else’s life is important but mine. That’s bullshit.” I rose to my knees, dragging in a deep breath. “What if Telly does something to you? Or to Laadan or Leon or Marcus? You expect me to be okay with that? To live with that?”
Aiden’s eyes darkened. “Yes, I expect you to live with that.”
“That’s insane.” I climbed off the bed, feeling the spicy rush of anger. “You’re insane!”
He watched me calmly. “It’s the way it is.”
“You can’t say that my life is more important than yours. That’s not right.”
“But your life ismore important to me.”
“Do you hear yourself?” I stopped in front of him, hands shaking. “How can you make that decision for other people—for Laadan and Marcus?”
“Look,” Aiden said, his hands rising into the air. “Get mad at me. Hit me. It doesn’t change anything.”
I moved toward him, to push him but not actually hit him. “You can’t—”
Aiden caught both my wrists and hauled me into his lap, switching my wrists to one hand. He sighed. “I didn’t mean for you to actuallyhit me.”
Too stunned to respond, I just stared at him. Our heads were only inches apart. My legs tangled with his, and then he reached up with his free hand, smoothing the mess of hair back from my face. My breath caught as my heart sped up. Our gazes locked and his eyes turned to quicksilver.
He cupped the nape of my neck. I heard his sharp intake of breath. Then he let go of my wrists and grasped my hips. Before I could blink, I was on my back, and Aiden hovered over me. Using one arm to support himself, he lowered his head and brushed his lips over my swollen cheek.
“How do we always end up like this?” he asked, voice rough as his gaze traveled away from my face and down my body.
“I didn’t do this.” Slowly, I lifted my hands and placed them against his chest. His heart jumped under my palm.
“No. This was all me.” The lower half of his body shifted down. Our legs were flush. His eyes searched mine. “It gets harder every time.”
My brows rose and I bit back a giggle. “What does?”
Aiden grinned and his eyes lightened. “Stopping before it’s too late.”
In a second, everything—the rift that had come between us the day I’d given him that stupid pick, what I’d seen in the Catskills, the mess we were in, and even Seth—everything vanished. The words came out of me in a rush. “Don’t stop.”
CHAPTER 15
AIDEN’S EYES SEEMED TO GLOW FROM WITHIN AS HE stared down at me. Like in the library, I knew he wanted to kiss me. His resolve was cracking and the hand against my cheek trembled.
I slid my hands down his taut stomach, stopping above the band of his pants. More than anything I wanted to lose myself in him, to forget about everything. I wanted him to lose himself in me.
He sucked in air, lips parted. “It probably would be a good idea if Leon or someone else was watching you during the night.”
“Probably.”
His lips tipped into a crooked smile as his hand drifted away from my cheek, down my neck and under the collar of my sweater. I jumped a little when his hand skimmed over my shoulder. “People say hindsight is always twenty-twenty,” he said.
I didn’t care about people’s eyesight. All I cared about was his hand on my skin, pushing the sweater down my arm. “When… when does the next babysitter arrive?”
“Not until morning.”
Butterflies went crazy in my stomach. Morning was several hours away. A lot of things could go down in those hours. “Oh.”
Aiden didn’t respond. Instead, his fingers skimmed over the tags on my arm and then he closed his eyes. A shudder rolled through his entire body, shaking me to my core. Then his head dipped and dark waves of hair fell forward, but not quick enough to shield the hunger in his stare.
I tensed, my chest tightening. His breath was warm and tantalizing on my lips, and then they brushed across mine so softly. That simple act stole my breath, my heart. But even as he pulled away, I realized that he couldn’t steal something he already had.
Aiden rolled onto his side, pulling me along with him. He eased one arm under me, cradling me to his chest so tightly I could feel his heart thundering. There was something under his shirt that pressed against my cheek. I realized it was his necklace.
“Aiden?”
He lowered his chin to the top of my head and drew in a deep breath. “Go to sleep, Alex.”
My eyes snapped open. I tried to lift my head, but I couldn’t move an inch. “I don’t think I can sleep now.”
“Well, you better try.”
I tried to wiggle free, but he moved his leg, clamping one of mine between his. My fingers curled into his thermal. “ Aiden”
“Alex.”
Frustrated, I pushed on his chest. Aiden’s laugh rumbled through me, and even though I wanted to smack him, I started to smile. “Why? Why did you kiss me? I mean, you did just kiss me, right?”
“Yes. No. Sort of.” Aiden sighed. “I wanted to.”
My smile started to turn giddy. It was like there was a part of me that had no perception of the outside world or all the consequences—the part that was completely controlled by my heart. “Okay. Then why did you stop?”