The kiss was gentle, sweet, and way too quick. My lips tingled awhile after he’d left the room. Later? How could there be a “later” in a house full of people? I took a hot shower and let the water ease my aching muscles once I figured out how to use the three showerheads without drowning myself. Afterward, I changed into sweats and sent the bed a yearning glance on the way out of the room. I had something to do before I rested.
Lea was sitting on the bed, legs crossed as she stared down at her phone. When I knocked on the open door, she glanced up. “Hey,” I said.
She watched me for several long seconds and then cleared her throat. “I texted Olivia in Vail, told her we were okay.”
“Does she know what’s she going to do?” I sat on the bed beside her, running my hands through the wet tangles in my hair. I thought about Caleb’s message to her. Hopefully, I could tell her soon.
“No. Her mom…” her voice caught and she swallowed. “Her mom is freaking out. I think they’re going to New York.”
Thinking of my father, I felt my chest tighten. Would I ever see him again? Then I felt bad for even thinking that. Lea had lost all of her family. “Will they be safe there?”
Long, coppery hair I’d envied for years shielded her face as she tipped her head down. “She thinks so. She’ll let me know once her mom knows more.”
I nodded, dropping my hands to my lap. “Lea, I’m so sorry for what happened.”
She drew in a breath of air that seemed to shake her entire body. “We’ve been here before.”
“I know.”
Lea lifted her head. Her amethyst-colored eyes glittered with tears. “I know it’s not your fault. What your mom did or what… what Seth did. Every death that I’ve seen or been around has had to do with you. They’re not your fault, but they still happened.”
I looked away, feeling the weight of the last ten months settle over me. Ten months of death, starting with my mom in Miami, and I knew it wasn’t over. With the gods involved as they were, with my birthday tomorrow, and with Seth out there looking for us, it wasn’t over. But still, what I was feeling was nothing compared to what Lea was going through.
“And I can’t… I can’t look at you without seeing all those faces,” Lea whispered. “I’m sorry. I don’t blame you, but I… I just can’t look at you right now.”
I nodded stiffly and stood. “I’m sorry,” I said again. It was the only thing I could say.
“I know.”
Leaving her room didn’t diminish the guilt. Crawling into bed didn’t make any of what happened disappear. And my guilt wasn’t like what I’d felt after Caleb’s death. This was like having a child who had done something terrible and everyone was staring at me, wondering where it all had gone wrong. Guilt by association.
I rolled onto my side, facing the window. Snow continued to fall outside. Nature was at its best when it was both beautiful and deadly.
Watching the snow cleared my mind of everything that was happening, leaving behind a thin layer of static until exhaustion claimed and pulled me under.
A feathery light kiss woke me up sometime later, drawing my eyes open. Aiden smiled down at me as his thumb traced the shape of my cheekbone. “What are you doing?” I asked sleepily. “What if someone finds you in here?”
“Solos took Deacon and Luke to the store since the snow has let up a little. Lea is resting and Marcus is keeping an eye on things.” He curled around me, finding my hand and threading his fingers through it. “And I think the cat’s pretty much out of the bag on this.”
I tipped my head back, my eyes searching his intently. “What do you mean?”
“We’re in a house full of halfs, with the exception of Marcus and my brother. Deacon surely doesn’t care and Marcus—”
“My uncle’s a stickler for rules,” I whispered.
Aiden brushed his lips over the tip of my nose. “Marcus knows, Alex. He’s not blind.”
“He’s okay with it?”
“I wouldn’t say okay”Aiden grinned. “He actually punched me when he figured it out.”
I stared. “What?”
He chuckled under his breath. “Yeah, he punched me right in the face when he got back from Nashville—twice.”
“Oh my…” I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. It wasn’t funny, but it was.
“The first hit was because you were with Seth and Lucian. The second one was after he figured out about us.”
“How did he find out? We were careful.” And we had been.
“I think he’s suspected something for awhile,” he mused. “But it was when you were gone he figured it out. I think I was pretty transparent during those days.”
I wanted to ease the lines of concern that’d appeared on his forehead. We’d talked about my time spent in Lucian’s house on the way here and I’d reassured him a dozen times or more that I hadn’t been harmed there, but it still bothered him. Just like when I’d died, it was something that would linger with Aiden.
“What did he say to you?” I finally asked him.
“I don’t think you want to know. It was one of the only times I’ve heard Marcus cuss.”
I smiled as I lowered my cheek back to the pillow. Gods know I was all too familiar with Marcus being angry. “You don’t seem too worried about him knowing.”
“I’m not. Right now, there are more… pressing issues to focus on.”
Wasn’t that the truth? “Part of me wishes tomorrow wouldn’t come.”
He kissed the top of my head. “Everything will be okay, Alex.”
“I know.” I closed my eyes and snuggled in. “I just don’t know what to expect, you know? Will I automatically turn into a super badass tomorrow or something? Or will I be accidentally blasting people with akasha?” Or would I connect with Seth? That I didn’t want to put into words.
“Whatever happens, you’ll still be Alex… you’ll still be agapi mou, my life. Just…just don’t ever scare me like you did today, okay? We’re still in this together.”
“To the end?”
“To the end,” he whispered.
Damnable tears rushed to my eyes. I was such a girl, but those words were perfect, what I needed to hear. “Let’s make plans again. I liked that.” My brows rose when he laughed again. “What?”
“It’s just that you are the last person who plans anything.”
I grinned, because he had a point. “But I like these kinds of plans.”
“Okay.” He moved his thumb along the inside of my palm. “I’ve been thinking about the future—our future.”
I loved the sound of that—“our future.” When Aiden said it, it seemed possible. “What did you come up with?”
“It’s more like something I’ve decided.” He pulled his hand free and smoothed back my hair. “Let’s say everything blows over with the compulsion thing, okay?”
Not likely, but I nodded.
“I don’t want to stay in our world.”
I caught his hand, lowering it to where my heart pounded as I twisted around in his embrace. “What? What do you mean?”
Thick lashes shielded his eyes. “If we stayed in this world, the Hematoi world, we couldn’t be together. There will be some who don’t care, but… it’s too much of a risk, even if we did manage to get assigned to the same area.”
Air left my lungs as I stared at him. “But if you left you couldn’t be a Sentinel anymore, and you need that.”
He looked up, meeting my eyes. “I do need that. Being a Sentinel is important to me, but it’s not my world, my life, or my heart. You are. And I want you in my life, really in my life. It’s the only way.”
I suddenly wanted to cry. Again. I couldn’t even form a coherent word, and I knew he could feel my heart slamming itself against his palm, but I didn’t care.
Aiden leaned in, brushing his lips over mine. “I love you, Alex. I’d give it all up for you, and I know you’ve been thinking about it, too, but that’s up to you.”