Fresh emotions washed over him as he read the second clipping. DIVA IN FAREWELL TOUR, read the headline in The New York Times, and the text of the story told of triumph after triumph as Maria-Teresa Bonfiglia bade adieu to her adoring public in cities across the country. San Francisco, Dallas, Cleveland, Chicago, and the final appearance only ten days away at Carnegie Hall in New York. He stared at the clipping, entranced, then put it aside and went to the phonograph. He selected a record, and stood with his hands clasped behind his back and his head sunk in thought as her incomparable voice filled the room singing the "Vissi d'arte." He remembered the first time that he heard her sing it, and he remembered the times when she had sung it just for him.
"And now that voice will be stilled," he murmured. "How sad. Memories, I will have only memories. How long can a man live on memories?"
No longer, he decided. It was time for him to go out into the world again, time for an end to his hegira, and he was amazed at how easily the decision was made.
Go, he told himself, go now. There is nothing to keep you here. Not the imam, not the committee in Beirut, not the men, not all the vows and promises made. I have given so much, and I have asked for so little in return. This I must have, and no one will dare to say no to me.
An hour later, dressed in western clothing and with money and papers in his pockets, he drew a vehicle from the motor pool and began the drive north to Tripoli. He was right. No one had dared to say no to him.
21
THIS is a voluntary statement by Mrs. Violet Simms of 29A Linden 1 Avenue, Rockhill, N.Y., on this date. The statement was made to Mr. Samuel Warsaw of this department. This memorandum is restricted to internal use only.
SAMMY: We'd like you to tell us whatever you can about the letters that you have been sending over the years to the man you know as Hassan Rashid.
VIOLET: First of all, I haven't done anything illegal, and as far as I'm concerned I haven't done anything improper or immoral, either. I know what moral is. I'm a churchgoing woman, have been all my life, and I know the difference between right and wrong. I haven't done anything to be ashamed of. If you want to talk about shame, you ought to talk about the shame that my daughter put on me, having a baby without a husband that way. All I've done is try to raise Lila the best that I could, and I couldn't have done it without the money from Hassan. He's been generous to me, kind and generous.
SAMMY: Are you aware that the man you know as Hassan Rashid is the terrorist that the world knows of by the single name of Safeer?
VIOLET: So you say. Since I've been in this place that's all I've heard, that he's one of those people who blows up airplanes and does those terrible things, but as far as far as I'm concerned it's all a lot of talk. I haven't seen any proof that Hassan is this Safeer fellow, and until I do I just don't believe it. It's been a lot of years since I last saw Hassan, but it's been my experience that people don't change all that much over the years. You start out with a basically decent human being, and that's what you wind up with, more or less. And decent was what he was. What he is. Not that I felt that way about him right from the start. I had some funny feelings then about Arabs, and I didn't like it one little bit when Julia started to throw herself at him. Threw herself at him like a slut, that's what she did, and that's where the blame lies, not with me.
SAMMY: You don't blame Hassan for what he did to your daughter?
VIOLET: What did he do? She threw herself at him, didn't she? A man is a man, isn't he? He did what any other man would do, and she got exactly what she was looking for. Got herself pregnant without a husband, which doesn't mean much to some people these days, but it still does where I come from, and I begged her to tell him before he went home after college. He had to go back to his people, didn't he? Well, she should have told him then that she was pregnant, but she wouldn't. I tell you, I almost got down on my knees and begged her to, but that girl was so stubborn, so filled up with pride. Wanted to see if he'd send for her, wanted him to prove that he loved her before she would tell him. Love, my foot. She knew who that man was in love with, everybody knew, and he took up with my Julia only after June turned him down. Well, I guess she got her proof. He never did write to her, never did ask for her to come to him, which only goes to show how little he thought of her throwing herself at him that way. A man thinks you're cheap, and he treats you cheap, it's always been that way and it always will. Some people might find fault with the way that he treated her, but she had only herself to blame. He was a decent person, and he proved it later on when I needed him.
SAMMY: When was that?
VIOLET: When the baby came, and Julia died. God's judgment? I try not to think of it that way, but it's hard to escape the thought. In the end, it doesn't matter, does it? I lost my daughter, and suddenly I had a baby to care for. That's when Hassan-I'm sorry, but I can't call him Safeer-showed how decent he was. All it took was one letter from me explaining the situation, and the money started coming. Now, remember, as far as he knew it could have been anybody's baby, Not that it was, it was his, all right, but how was he to know that? And even if he knew, how many men would do the right thing that way? Well, Hassan did. The money started coming, and it never stopped, right to this day, deposited every month like clockwork in my bank.
SAMMY: What did he ask for in return?
VIOLET: Nothing much, nothing more than any father would ask. He wanted to hear about his child, wanted to know how she was growing up, wanted to see some photos once in a while, that's all. Little enough to ask for what he was doing, and I can be like clockwork, too. I've been writing once a week without fail, first to Beirut and later to that address in Paris, never missed once over all these years. I tell him about Lila, and all the other things that he wants to know. He always wants to hear about Mike Teague, who was like family to him once, and all about that singer, too.
SAMMY: What singer is that?
VIOLET: The opera star with that funny name. Maria-Teresa something.
SAMMY: Bonfiglia? Maria-Teresa Bonfiglia?
VIOLET: That's it. Any time her name is in the papers, I send him the clipping. And anything about the Van Buren basketball team. And anything I hear about Calvin and June, of course.
SAMMY: Why, of course?
VIOLET: Because they were all so close in college, the three of them. My Julia was never a part of it, she just tagged along. That's why they called her the Poodle, she was like a pet. But the other three were the best of friends, and if you want my opinion, Hassan never got over it when Calvin and June got married. If you want my opinion…
SAMMY: Yes?
VIOLET: I think that Hassan has always been waiting for the marriage to break up. There, I said it. Not very nice, but that's what I think, and that's why he wanted me to keep him posted about it. If anything ever happens between Calvin and June, you can bet that Hassan will be Johnny-on-the-spot.
SAMMY: You think he still wants her after all these years?
VIOLET: I'm sure of it.
SAMMY: Would he come back here to get her?
VIOLET: I'm sure of that, too.
SAMMY: What does Lila know about this?
VIOLET: Nothing, and I'd like to keep it that way. She thinks her father died in an accident just after she was born.
SAMMY: But she knows that her parents weren't married?
VIOLET: She knows that much, because of her name. She doesn't have to know the rest of it, does she?
SAMMY: She won't hear it from us.
VIOLET: Good. I don't want her hearing all that talk about terrorists. Her father is a fine, decent man, not this Safeer person you're talking about.