“I want to take a tour of Las Vegas,” Her Majesty said primly.
Lady Barbara shook her head. “I’m afraid that’s not possible, Your Majesty,” she said.
“And why not, pray?” Her Majesty said. “No. I can see what you’re thinking. It’s not safe to let me go wandering around in a strange city, and particularly if that city is Las Vegas. Well, dear, I can assure you that it’s perfectly safe.”
“We’ve got work to do,” Boyd contributed.
Malone said nothing. He stared bleakly at the hood ornament on the car.
“I have made my wishes known,” the Queen said.
Lady Barbara said: “But—”
Boyd, however, knew when to give in. “Yes, Your Majesty,” he said.
She smiled graciously at him, and answered Lady Barbara only by a slight lift of her regal eyebrow.
Malone had been thinking about something else. When he was sure he had a firm grip on himself he turned. “Your Majesty, tell me something,” he said. “You can read my mind, right?”
“Well, of course, Sir Kenneth,” Her Majesty said. “I thought I’d proved that to you. And, as for what you’re about to ask—”
“No,” Malone said. “Please. Let me ask the questions before you answer them. It’s less confusing that way. I’ll cheerfully admit that it shouldn’t be — but it is. Please?”
“Certainly, Sir Kenneth, if you wish,” the Queen said. She folded her hands in her lap and waited quietly.
“Okay,” Malone said. “Now, if you can read my mind, then you must know that I don’t really believe that you are Queen Elizabeth of England. The First, I mean.”
“Mr. Malone,” Barbara Wilson said suddenly. “I—”
“It’s all right, child,” the Queen said. “He doesn’t disturb me. And I do wish you’d call him Sir Kenneth. That’s his title, you know.”
“Now that’s what I mean,” Malone said. “Why do you want us to act as if we believe you, when you know we don’t?”
“Because that’s the way people do act,” the Queen said calmly. “Very few people really believe that their so-called superiors are superior. Almost none of them do, in fact.”
“Now wait a minute,” Boyd began.
“No, no, it’s quite true,” the Queen said, “and, unpleasant as it may be, we must learn to face the truth. That’s the path of sanity.” Lady Barbara made a strangled noise but Her Majesty continued, unruffled. “Nearly everybody suffers from the silly delusion that he’s possibly equal to, but very probably superior to, everybody else — my goodness, where would we be if that were true?”
Malone felt that a comment was called for, and he made one. “Who knows?” he said.
“All the things people do toward their superiors,” the Queen said, “are done for social reasons. For instance, Sir Kenneth: you don’t realize fully how you feel about Mr. Burris.”
“He’s a hell of a fine guy,” Malone said. “I work for him. He’s a good Director of the FBI.”
“Of course,” the Queen said. “But you believe you could do the job just as well, or perhaps a little better.”
“I do not,” Malone said angrily.
Her Majesty reserved a dignified silence.
After a while Malone said: “And what if I do?”
“Why, nothing,” Her Majesty said. “You don’t think Mr. Burris is any smarter or better than you are — but you treat him as if you did. All I am insisting on is the same treatment.”
“But if we don’t believe—” Boyd began.
“Bless you,” Her Majesty said, “I can’t help the way you think, but, as Queen, I do have some control over the way you act.”
Malone thought it over. “You have a point there,” he said at last.
Barbara said: “But—”
“Yes, Sir Kenneth,” the Queen said, “I do.” She seemed to be ignoring Lady Barbara. Perhaps, Malone thought, she was still angry over the nap affair. “It’s not that,” the Queen said.
“Not what?” Boyd said, thoroughiy confused.
“Not the naps,” the Queen said.
“What naps?” Boyd said.
Malone said: “I was thinking—”
“Good,” Boyd said. “Keep it up. I’m driving. Everything’s going to hell around me, but I’m driving.”
A red light appeared ahead. Boyd jammed on the brakes with somewhat more than the necessary force, and Malone was thrown forward with a grunt. Behind him there were two ladylike squeals.
Malone struggled upright. “Barbara?” he called. “Are you all right—” Then he remembered the Queen.
“It’s all right,” Her Majesty said. “I can understand your concern for Lady Barbara.” She smiled at Malone as he turned.
Malone gaped at her. Of course she knew what he thought about Barbara; she’d been reading his mind. And, apparently, she was on his side. That was good, even though it made him slightly nervous to think about.
“Now,” the Queen said suddenly, “what about tonight?”
“Tonight?”
“Yes, of course,” the Queen said. She smiled, and put up a hand to pat at her white hair under the Elizabethan skullcap. “I think I should like to go to the Palace,” she said. “After all, isn’t that where a Queen should be?”
Boyd said, in a kind of explosion: “London? England?”
“Oh, dear me…” the Queen began, and Barbara said:
“I’m afraid that I simply can’t allow anything like that. Overseas—”
“I didn’t mean overseas, dear,” Her Majesty said. “Sir Kenneth, please explain to these people.”
The Palace, Malone knew, was more properly known as the Golden Palace. It was right in Las Vegas — convenient to all sources of money. As a matter of fact, it was one of the biggest gambling houses along the Las Vegas strip, a veritable chaos of wheels, cards, dice, chips and other such devices. Malone explained all this to the others, wondering meanwhile why Miss Thompson wanted to go there.
“Not Miss Thompson, please, Sir Kenneth,” Her Majesty said.
“Not Miss Thompson what?” Boyd said. “What’s going on anyhow?”
“She’s reading my mind,” Malone said.
“Well, then,” Boyd snapped, “tell her to keep it to herself.” The car started up again with a roar and Malone and the others were thrown around again, this time toward the back. There was a chorus of groans and squeals, and they were on their way once more.
“To reply to your question, Sir Kenneth,” the Queen said.
Lady Barbara said, with some composure: “What question — Your Majesty?”
The Queen nodded regally at her. “Sir Kenneth was wondering why I wished to go to the Golden Palace,” she said. “And my reply is this: it is none of your business why I want to go there. After all, is my word law, or isn’t it?”
There didn’t seem to be a good enough answer to that, Malone thought sadly. He kept quiet and was relieved to note that the others did the same. However, after a second he thought of something else.
“Your Majesty,” he began carefully, “we’ve got to go to Yucca Flats tomorrow. Remember?”
“Certainly,” the Queen said. “My memory is quite good, thank you. But that is tomorrow morning. We have the rest of the night left. It’s only a little after nine, you know.”
“Heavens,” Barbara said. “Is it that late?”
“It’s even later,” Boyd said sourly. “It’s much later than you think.”
“And it’s getting later all the time,” Malone added. “Pretty soon the sun will go out and all life on earth will end. Won’t that be nice and peaceful?”
“I’m looking forward to it,” Boyd said.
“I’m not,” Barbara said. “But I’ve got to get some sleep tonight, if I’m going to be any good at all tomorrow.”