“How…? How—?”
He stands and crosses his arms across his chest. “I watched you in the transformation center and you were stoic throughout the entire process, didn’t even flinch when you were branded, and everyone always screams during that part. So I’ve heard. But when they ordered you to surrender the ring, your face changed, and for some reason I could feel your pain. Anyway, all they do is pawn the stuff they collect. So when no one was looking, I took it.”
He takes my face between his hands and stares into my eyes. “With everything that’s happened, I totally forgot I even had it. But when I read your letter, I remembered. You’re only alive and here with me now because of that ring. If you wouldn’t have seen it, you’d be six feet underground right now.”
He’s right.
And suddenly I can’t feel my heart beat and my ears ring so loud I can’t think. Then my voice comes out, breaking the static in my head. “Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you. I can’t even begin to tell you how much this means to me. Not once has anyone gone out of their way to do something even remotely nice for me. But you knew nothing about me, yet you took a risk for me. I wish I had a way to repay you.”
“You already did, by trusting me and letting me in.”
My gaze lowers to the floor and I take a cleansing breath. “I had to. The night before you left, I couldn’t sleep knowing I could lose you forever, and that’s when I knew.” I meet his gaze.
He curls his lip and tilts my face up. He pulls me in with his eyes. “You knew what? That I would never leave you?” He kisses the top of my head, then my forehead, and my head again.
My head explodes like a bomb. I look up and he holds my gaze. I know he can see my pain.
“Knew what?” he repeats. He wraps his arms around me again, pulling me into him. My nerves prevent me from speaking even though I should. “Tell me.”
“Even if it was only for a day, an hour, or a minute—I would risk everything just so I could be with you,” I say.
His concerned face morphs into one of determination. “Do you really mean that? Are you sure? Because if we get caught—”
“I know. And yes, I’m sure. When you were gone, all I could think about was you and I missed you so much it hurt.”
“Shhh…” He grips me closer to his body and then softly whispers in my ear, “I’m about to kiss you, and once I start I won’t be able to stop. Just thought I should warn you.”
“What are you waiting for?”
That’s when I feel his lips. He kisses along my jawline, to my chin, and kisses the corners of my mouth with such tenderness a moan escapes. He slides me closer so our bodies are completely intertwined. I wrap my legs around him so he can’t pull away. He exhales and I breathe him in. My pulse races to an unseen finish line.
Slowly, he leans in and presses his lips against my neck, and with every breath, he kisses me. I wrap my arms around his head and tilt my head back as his kisses make their way to my collarbone. I feel his hands move up my back and our breaths become heavy between each kiss. My body starts to shake.
He takes my face in his hands, rubbing my cheekbones with his thumbs. He kisses my forehead, my nose, and my eyelids. I open my eyes and push him in with my hands. The room starts to spin when his eyes lock on mine, and I’m losing my mind. He leans his face closer and closer but not close enough.
“Please. Kiss me,” I say.
He smiles his crooked smile, pauses a minute, and then brings his lips to mine. They’re warm, gentle, and soft. My heart flutters as he runs his finger over my lips and kisses me again. Then he pulls back, leaving my mouth yearning for more.
“What are you doing?”
“Teasing.”
“Oh no you don’t!”
I grab his head and press my lips to his. His kisses grow hungrier and more passionate by the minute. I open my mouth slightly, allowing his tongue to gently caress mine, and a quiet moan escapes him as I scrape my nails across his back. His mouth tastes minty and I want more, so much more.
“Don’t stop.” I’m left breathless and even my toes start tingling.
He drops his hands from my face and slides them under my shirt, grabbing me around the waist. He lifts me up and pushes me back onto the bed. My lips never leave his as he lowers himself on top of me. I’m losing all control. I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him closer, tighter so he can never leave.
His hands wrap around my hips and pull me into him as he kisses me with more intensity than before. He’s killing me.
I need to feel his flesh, so I grab the bottom of his shirt, pull it over his head, and throw it on the floor. I look down and my mouth drops open. Holy muscles. He laughs at me and shakes his head.
“That bad, huh?”
“Disgusting, actually. Mind if I grab your shirt? You looked much better when you had it on.”
“Is that so? Well, in that case, I’ll keep it off so I can continue to gross you out… Just don’t puke, all right?” He pushes up on his hands and winks at me.
“I’m trying my hardest to keep it down.”
“Are you really?” A flicker of concern darkens his face.
“No, silly. Lay on your back.” I can’t help but laugh as I try to pull him down.
“Why?”
I don’t answer. Instead, I roll him over, straddle him, and kiss him. Then I run my tongue down his neck to his chest and kiss every inch in between as my fingers glide over his biceps.
I want to feel him. I want all of him. I take his hands and place them on my shirt. He looks at me and shakes his head.
“No, I just want to kiss you,” he says. I run my hands up and down his chest, feeling him tremble underneath my palms.
He growls. At least I think it’s a growl. “Your turn. On your back you go!”
This time he straddles me. He interlaces his fingers through mine, guiding my arms above my head, and holds me there while he kisses my wrists, elbows, and back to my lips. I could kiss this boy until the day I die.
We stare at each other, more vulnerable than ever. Desire dances in his black eyes.
He runs his mouth from my collarbone to my lips, kissing every delicate area on the way. I’m on fire. I wrap my legs around his hips and force him closer. Unleashed.
“Baby,” he says between kisses, “we can’t.” He gradually pulls my arms from around his waist, but I pull him closer. He stops arguing and gives in, only to try again. “Not here, not like this.” His voice is rugged with desire as he unwraps my legs from his hips.
I pull away, breathing hard, confused. I was just getting started. I turn my head to the side, trying to hide the tears in my eyes.
“No, Lexi. It’s not what you think.”
“And how could you possibly know what I’m thinking?”
“You’re pretty easy to read. Would you at least look at me?” He turns my head until it’s facing his. “Think about it. I’m your guard. We can’t risk having a baby… They’d automatically suspect me. If they found out, they’d kill me, wait for you to deliver, and then force you to kill our child before finishing you off,” he says as he stares down at me from above. “I won’t put you through that.”
My mind was so wrapped up in him I totally forgot where we lived, and he’s right. We can’t risk getting pregnant no matter how much we want it. I sigh in frustration and try to think over the pounding of my heart.
“This really, really sucks.”
“Yet you look relieved,” he says. He rolls off to my side and props himself up on his elbow while using his free hand to play with my hair.