“Just relieved you still want me. I was so scared while you were gone, scared you’d hate me or think I’m weak and disgusting.” I choke on the lump in my throat and roll to face him. “And now, we’re stuck hiding what we are… Now I know how Claire felt and it scares me even more.”
“Not once, ever, did I think you were any of those things.” His eyes widen with intensity as he places his hand on my cheek. “To tell you the truth, I think you’re incredible. I mean, look what you’ve been through—the fact that you’re still sane and functioning…”
“Okay, that’s enough. I don’t want to think about that right now… Let me soak up this moment with you.” I roll onto my back and play with the gold band on my finger. My ring doesn’t weigh much, yet it brings a burden of responsibility with it. My father must’ve known the road ahead wouldn’t be easy when he gave it to me. He wouldn’t want me to flippantly give up or give in. The inscription, as always, gives me strength for the moment.
“So… how are we going to be able to hide this? Sutton and Bruno already suspect. And it’s going to be really freaking hard to look at you without smiling,” I say as I turn my head toward Cole. “No one can know about us… I can’t lose you. There’s no way I can overcome that.”
“I know.” His smile fades into a solemn expression. “If anyone asks, just tell them Alyssa gave it to you.”
“Hope that works.”
Banging on the door makes Cole fall off the bed. Zeus, who was lying at the foot of the bed, begins howling. Cole’s feet get caught on Zeus as he tries to answer the knock and I stumble to the chairs at the table. We must look ridiculous, scrambling to look normal, but our survival depends on it. My fear wins over my sense of humor.
Cole swings open the door, looking slightly flustered. “What is it?”
“This building’s on lockdown until further notice,” a man says.
“Whose orders?” Cole asks.
“Wilson’s.”
“Great,” Cole says. Then he closes the door while shaking his head. “Looks like we’re stuck here… damn.” He runs back to me with a hungry expression.
Another knock interrupts him and I roll my eyes. “Really! Hurry up, answer it.” He throws on his shirt and swings open the door again. Wilson stands there looking formidable in his uniform and polished black boots. Two other guards stand off his shoulders in the hallway, loaded down with ammunition and large guns. My heart pounds so hard I’m sure everyone can hear it. I can scarcely breathe for fear of him sensing my weakness.
Cole immediately salutes and steps aside. Wilson motions the two guards into Cole’s kitchen and their hard eyes inspect me.
“This building’s been placed on lockdown. Two suspects came through here. One’s dark, about five-foot-nine and the other is light-skinned, about six feet. They’re carrying stolen weapons. Have you seen them or anyone suspicious come through here?” Wilson’s commandeering voice cuts me to the core. His gaze settles on me, sitting at the table, trying to look inconspicuous.
“No, sir,” Cole says. “I’ll keep a lookout though.”
“Shoot to kill. The last thing I need are more prisoners,” Wilson replies while keeping his steel eyes locked on me.
They unnerve me, so I cast mine down to my feet, hoping he doesn’t inspect my room and see the drawings on the wall.
“All night we’ll be performing random searches, so don’t expect to get much sleep,” Wilson says. This time he turns toward Cole. “You’re still expected to repost on time to training tomorrow.” Wilson looks over Cole’s shoulder. “What the hell is she doing in your room?”
“I was going over the rules with her, sir. She seems to have forgotten some… Just keeping her in line, sir.”
“Write them down. Make her read them… There’s no reason you should be having a one-on-one. Now get her ass back to her room.”
“Yes, sir,” Cole says.
“Now,” Wilson commands.
The other two guards stare, lusty-eyed, as I stand and move toward the door. My hands tremble at my sides as fear rushes through my veins. His narrow eyes and icy demeanor instantly terrorize me and I’m tempted to run. My palms sweat as I turn the knob and go to my room, praying they don’t follow.
CHAPTER 14
Time tick, tick, ticks past. Anxiety claws at my insides, ripping holes into my sanity. It feels like I’ve been trapped in my room forever. All I hear are doors slamming and people cursing in the hall, along with the heavy footfalls of guards outside my door. My eyes feel stuck wide open, and I sit on my mattress, wrapping my arms around my knees.
I lie down, attempting to fall asleep, but Cole’s words keep playing through my head. This is our secret and no one else can know about it. But what about Sutton and Bruno who already seem well-informed? And now I completely understand how Claire and Mac were caught—everyone always watches you. Maybe Alyssa was right about life in the Hole. Maybe she did have it easier knowing she’d never have to grow up in this forsaken place.
But I can’t deny how I feel toward Cole. Nothing and no one could ever compare to him. All I can think about are his honest brown eyes, the scar on his lip, and the intense expression when he kisses me that sucks me in like a vacuum. I feel drunk on him—just crazy about his face, his hands, and his body. Too crazy.
“Lexi, you awake?”
I push up on my elbows and see the door cracked open with light pouring in from behind. He stands there squinting his eyes into my cave-like room.
“Yeah, what’s up? Is the lockdown over?”
“Nah, I can’t sleep. Figured if you couldn’t be in my room, then I can at least sneak into yours.” He slowly walks over and plops himself next to me with his head leaning back against the wall.
“He really freaks me out… makes my stomach uneasy. I hope he doesn’t come back.” I motion toward the door and he knows exactly to whom I’m referring.
“Baby, I hate to break it to you, but everything makes your stomach uneasy.”
“No. This unease is different. There’s nothing I can do about the uncontrolled puking. It just happens. But now it’s more like a sickening nervousness.”
“Right. Whatever that means.”
“If he’s second in command, then where’s the commander?”
“Well, Wilson usually oversees the transformation center and lab while the commander controls the Hole itself… but rumors of the revolt have changed that, I guess.”
“Hmm, well, they’re both disgusting.” I lean my head against his shoulder, staring into the shadows.
“I’ve seen them both abuse their power. It’s sickening, really.” He wraps his arm around me and pulls me close.
I savor the heat rolling off his body and fall silent for a moment.
“You okay?” he asks.
“I guess… just a lot on my mind. Nothing new really.”
“I hear ya.”
“So what are we going to do about Sutton and Bruno?”
“Well, they’d never turn us in, that I’m sure of. But neither of them are fond of the idea of ‘us’… for good reason. The last thing they want is for us to be executed. Believe it or not, I’m not the only one around who cares about you.” He takes my face in his hand and reassures me. “So outside of these walls, we can’t stand each other.”
“This sucks.”
“Sure does,” he says.
“All right. Give me something to think about that would repulse me. So when I look at you, I can be totally disgusted.”
“Like what?” He contorts his face in confusion.
“I don’t know, anything. Want me to give you one?”
“Nope, I have one in mind already.”