The first thing I do is take a shower in his bathroom. I kick off my nasty slippers and peel off the scrubs while standing in the tub. Afterward, I scrub my clothes down and watch the dirt flow in circles down the drain. I cry while remembering the faces of the people, dying in their indignity, and releasing the fear I pent up while riding with Wilson.
When I step out of the shower, I wrap Cole’s towel around myself and gaze at my reflection, inspecting the blue brand on my neck. I pull away my hair, remembering what I looked like without it. Instead, I place my hands over it as Cole walks in.
“I hate that whenever I look, it’s there,” I say. Tears stream down my face and I don’t bother wiping them away. “Those poor people at the hospital today… dying from simple infections… and then Wilson—I feel like a target everywhere I go.”
He wraps his arms around me, and I turn into him, burying my face in his chest.
“I know. I know, babe. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this, I’ll find a way to get you out of here, I promise… I just need—”
“No. You won’t. You’re already risking too much just being near me.”
“I’m ready to do whatever it takes if it means I can have you.”
I push him away for a minute and rest my hands on his chest. “We shouldn’t even be here in the first place… I just don’t understand how—”
He wraps his hands around my wrists and leads me into the kitchen. “Get dressed. Then we’ll talk. That towel’s calling my name and making my head spin. If it falls off we won’t be talking—trust me.”
“I’m okay with that.”
“After we talk, I promise I’ll kiss every inch of your skin until you’re on your knees begging me to stop.”
And with that, I hurry and put on the one other pair of scrubs I own and place the slippers on the windowsill to dry. Then I sit at the table, tapping my fingers, and stare at him, waiting. He tosses me a granola bar from his bag and leans against the wall.
“The Hole exists because people were stupid.” He takes a large bite out of his granola bar, leaving only half.
“That’s a little vague, don’t you think?” I say.
“You saw it in the video. It’s too late to stop him now.”
“More like propaganda, really. Tell me. How’d this happen?” I take a bite out of my snack and chew slowly while waiting for his response.
He pauses for a minute. “Well, society was all up in arms about the crime rate and unemployment that they failed to see the first commander rising through the ranks. He had a way about him—all charming and sly at the same time. Of course, he used it as an advantage—brainwashing people left and right. That alone should make you puke.”
“I just swallowed it.”
“Perfect. Thanks for the visual.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“All right, let me finish before I—”
I lean back in my chair, put my feet on the table, and lick my lips.
“You’re evil.”
“Okay, sorry… go on. I’ll behave.”
“Thank you. Here’s the most disturbing part—he killed whoever questioned his reasoning or opposed him. He had no morals or values. He worshipped the power of control. Supposedly, he grew up in a household where he was severely punished for bad behavior. But either way, his predecessor is no different. Rumor has it that he’s sick, Lexi—mentally sick.” He takes another bite and wipes his hands on his pants. “I’m betting that’s what happened to your dad. Anyone who gets as vocal as you say your dad did is put away. Sad part is… this commander is probably already training a successor.”
“Could it be Wilson?”
“I don’t know. It’s always a state-held secret.” Cole finishes his last piece and scratches his head while thinking.
I put the granola bar down on the table after only nibbling on it. I suddenly lost my appetite. My father’s face, while always smiling at me, carried the weight of the world in his wrinkles. Sadness lurked behind his turquoise eyes and now I understand why. It was only inevitable that he’d be taken away—inevitable that he’d become a martyr for what he believed.
Cole kneels down beside me and takes my hands into his warm grip. “I take my duties seriously, but I can’t ignore all this hatred I have tucked inside any longer. You showed me what it’s like to really care about a person for the first time in my life, and now that I have you, I’m not going to let you go.”
Zeus pushes Cole’s hands away from mine and swipes Cole’s cheek with his tongue. I laugh, although my heart’s in my throat, overwhelmed with emotion. I have no idea where it came from and never realized I felt this way until my lips move.
“I love you,” I say.
Before I can say it again, I’m caught between the wall and Cole. His hands trace my silhouette, stopping at my hips, and he pulls them into him.
I’m trembling. I’m trembling from wanting him so desperately it’s taken over my body.
He’s breathing faster, leaning into me, kissing my forehead, my temples, and my cheeks. He runs his lips down to my ear and whispers. “I love you too.”
For a second I’m frozen, my heart skips a thousand beats, and I’m swimming in ecstasy. “Kiss me—please—kiss me,” I say.
He takes my face between his hands, gently tracing my lips with his thumb.
“Please,” I beg.
His hungry eyes search me like he’s trying to read my mind—wanting to know exactly what I need from him. He leans his head down and I part my lips. His warm tongue lightly strokes mine. He moves his right arm to my waist and holds the back of my head with his left hand. Grabbing my hair, he pulls my head toward my shoulder, giving me kisses along my neck, shoulder, and across my collarbone. His touch is intoxicating.
I reach over, guiding his face back to mine. He sucks in my lower lip, caressing it with his tongue while staring into my eyes.
He’s so gentle. So gentle it drives me crazy.
I’m struggling for oxygen as his hands run down my arms. I don’t want to move an inch, afraid of breaking apart. I never want to break apart. His hands linger, his touch like feathers as he makes his way to the hem of my shirt. I lift up my arms and he pulls my shirt up over my head and tosses it. Zeus growls and that’s when I feel my straps slide off my shoulders.
He wraps his arms around me, pulling me away from the wall and turning my back toward the bed. He unhooks my bra and I let it drop.
“Take off your shirt,” I say.
He lifts his T-shirt up over his head and chucks it behind him. He swallows hard and his words are soft and shaky. “Lexi,” he says, “I want you… all of you. I want nothing but you. It’s making me insane.”
Smiling, I say, “You have me. I’m right here. I’m yours.”
“Are you okay with me touching you like this? If not, I can just hold you and kiss you.” His fingers stroke the side of my face as he looks into my eyes for approval.
“I’m more than okay—trust me.”
He kisses me again, this time harder, longer, without coming up for air. I don’t want him to stop—I never want it to stop. He pulls me into his arms, picks me up, and carries me to the bed. He gently lays me down and straddles my hips. I shove his pillow onto the floor.
“I want to kiss your brand… if that’s all right?”
“I’d love that.”
And that’s exactly what he does. He gently kisses every millimeter of my brand. He rolls me onto my left side, my right side, and my stomach trying to heal my emotional wounds with the touch of his lips. And that, right there, is the best part about him—he cares.
“Come here!” I wrap my arms around his waist and bring his body down on the bed so he’s lying on top of me. He moves his right arm down to my thigh and grabs on, pulling my leg over his. I lean into him and he moans with desire. One hand strokes my hip while the other grabs my thigh. I guide his hand from my thigh and rest it on my lower back. I feel his heart racing as he breathes heavily into my ear.