“What did you do to your head?” I smack his chest.
“It’s a cobra,” he says. “I think it suits my personality.” He winks.
I nod my head, unsure of what to say. Looks pretty freaking intimidating to me.
His cobalt-colored eyes fix on my crew. “Who are these guys?”
“Oh, that’s Bruno, Cole, and Cole’s guard dog, Zeus.” They shake hands and Keegan smiles, but I feel tension for some reason.
“Well, I need to talk to my sister. You guys can rest up and dry by the fire. We’ll be back.”
Cole locks eyes with me and shakes his head, not wanting to let me out of his sight. I shrug. I guess it’s safe. I mean, it is my brother. So I follow Keegan down a narrow tunnel and through a small opening. He opens a second door and I shuffle in, ducking under a five-foot walkway and into a room that resembles a cave more than a bedroom. I shiver from the cold.
“You okay? I’ll see if I can get you another set of clothes.” Keegan carefully lights a lantern and the room comes alive. “This is where I sleep.”
It’s almost bare except for the cot covered with a quilt and a pile of books lying in the corner. The quilt forces me to pause. I pull it between my fingers and examine the stitching.
“Is this?”
“Yeah. It’s the only thing I took when I left… It reminds me of the good times,” Keegan says sadly. He sits on the cot and gestures me to sit as well.
“Oh.”
He takes my hand and reads my mind as I examine the plain space. His room reminds me of a burrow with dirt-caked walls, dim lighting, and a musty smell. “It’s not as bad as it looks. I only sleep here.”
“I guess. I don’t do well in small, closed spaces—that’s all.” I face him, but can’t think of what I want to say. Or I know everything I want to say and don’t know how to verbalize it for fear it’ll all come out wrong.
Thankfully, he senses my hesitance. “I regret leaving you every day of my life,” he says. “But… I had no choice. There was only a small window of opportunity to get in here.”
“Why here? Out of all places, you came here. You could’ve been killed and you didn’t ever take into consideration who you were leaving behind.” I don’t want to be angry with him, but part of me just can’t fathom leaving him behind if our places had been switched.
He puts his face in his hands. “Of course I did—I still do. I always wondered if I’d see you again, but never in my wildest dreams did I ever think it’d be in the Hole. But you have to understand, I had no choice. I had to do what Dad asked of me.”
I yank his hands away from his face. “What are you talking about?”
“He never told you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Dad hated everything about this place. He hated the commander. He hated his lack of morals and how the commander snuck up on everyone just to gain control. He hated that he took away the ‘innocent until proven guilty.’ He hated watching all these innocent people getting torn away from their families simply because someone didn’t like them. It’s sick. I mean, look at you. We both know you did nothing wrong. You shouldn’t be here and there’s thousands more who are innocent.” Keegan breathes deeply and exhales while looking up at the ceiling. “Dad’s goal was to destroy the Hole and revive the old judicial system. No, it wasn’t perfect. The system failed some innocent people as well as freed some who should’ve been found guilty—but it was better than this. Dad fought day in and day out, trying to find ways of making it better.” As Keegan’s words register, it hits me.
My father believed in the revolt.
One time, he told me that he wanted to change the world for the better. He wanted justice for all citizens, the way it should be. Honestly, I never understood what he was referring to, but now, I have no doubt he wanted to destroy this hellhole. He wanted the stories of countless faces unjustly accused heard. People just like me.
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve come with you.” I lean into him and feel his warmth wrap around my shoulders. “I miss Dad. I miss him so much it hurts. When he died, a part of me died right along with him, but I realized I still had my brother—he’d love and protect me. Then you disappeared and my entire world shattered into a million pieces. Every person I ever loved and trusted vanished out of my life and I was left in the hands of a—” I stop.
His arms squeeze the air out of my lungs. “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I can’t take back what I did to you, but you have to believe me when I tell you I had no idea what kind of man our stepfather was, what he was capable of doing, what he would do to you. If I did, I never, ever would’ve left you. Ever. If I knew he was going to torture you, I would’ve killed him myself and taken you with me.”
“How—how do you know about that?”
“Sutton told me.”
“Wait, what? Sutton told you?” I stand up as anger shoots through me. “How would he know?”
Keegan grabs my hands and swings me around. “He didn’t tell you, did he?”
“Tell me what?”
He doesn’t answer.
“Tell me what, Keegan?” I notice a twitch above his eye. He sits back down and pats next to him. I remain standing.
He inhales. “Sutton was Dad’s best friend.”
CHAPTER 17
My heart stops for a moment and I gaze at him in shock. “What are you talking about?”
“They’d been best friends since childhood. Practically brothers.”
“Then why don’t I remember him?” I shake my head in confusion. “I don’t remember seeing him.”
“After Sutton became a doctor, he traveled a lot. His residency wasn’t anywhere near where we lived so Dad didn’t see him much when we were growing up. They kept in close contact, of course. Sutton volunteered to come here and work at the hospital. He wanted to take care of people, but at the same time, he wanted to have contact with the inside. Think about it. How else would Dad have gotten all the information about the Hole?”
His words confirm my suspicions. “So Sutton was his informant?”
“From the beginning. Sutton knows way more about the revolt than I ever did, but Dad never told me in great detail. He didn’t want us to know anything that would end up putting our lives in danger. Lexi, Dad was amazing. He loved humanity and saw potential in everyone. All he wanted was to get the judicial system up and running again and let the accused have their day in court—like it was before. Because of Sutton, he knew everything that was going on in the Hole—the living conditions, the violence, the torture. All of it. Every day he internalized his anger, his disgust, his hatred for the commander, and did it well.” He leans back, resting his head against the wall. I sit down beside him and rest my head on his shoulder as he continues. “I snuck in the back of a guard’s truck and hid underneath his supplies when he drove into the Hole. When it stopped, I jumped out and made a break for it. I came here in search of answers and found them when I ran into Sutton. Right away I recognized him. I’m not sure how or why, but the second I saw his face I knew who he was. It sorta freaked me out.”
“I’m actually pretty pissed off right now. Why wouldn’t Sutton tell me? What? He didn’t think I had the right to know—that I couldn’t handle it?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. Look, we both agreed it’d be best for you to hear all this from me. Sutton won’t overstep his boundaries. He’s loyal, honest, and has a damn good heart. When this is all over, we’ll control this place together, making it right again.”
“I’m well aware he’s a good guy. It’s just the damn secrets I hate.”
“Some things, Lexi, you’re better off not knowing.” Keegan lowers his voice in a stern manner.