Keegan’s voice pulls me back. “Get the hell out of here before I kill someone,” Keegan commands. “It’s better she loses you now—when she has me.” He extends his arm from across his chest and points toward the hall.
I step in front of Keegan, but he pushes me aside and restrains me against the wall as his men force Cole out of the room. “No, Keegan. No! I swear to God, I’ll—”
“You’ll do nothing,” he threatens in a low voice. His hands lock around my wrists and squeeze until they go numb.
“Lexi, I’ll be back. I promise!” Cole shouts. The men drag him through the doorway.
“Damn it! Keegan! Let me go!” I lunge forward, trying to break free from Keegan’s grip, but he’s like steel and I can’t move.
“I can’t, Lexi. I’m sorry.”
Cole’s gone and I hear him yelling the entire way down the hall before silence settles. My heart shatters into a million little pieces. I want to beat in Keegan’s face.
“It’s better for you this way. You’ll see,” Keegan says. “At least Bruno will be with him.” He pats me on the shoulder but lacks pity. I feel dead inside and I’m afraid if I look at Keegan I’ll strangle him.
I stand up, brush the dirt off my pants and lock eyes with Keegan. “The only reason I’m standing here is because I want to fight. That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less. You can’t and won’t control me, Keegan. I’m not a little girl anymore and I’m capable of making my own decisions.”
“Are you done now?”
"Are you serious?" I let out a cackle laced with a mixture of delusion and fury, then lower my voice. "Keegan, I haven't even started yet." Stepping forward I press my fingers into the flesh beneath his clavicles. "Listen up. Cole and I are in love. So you can either suck it up and get over it, or you can continue on your way without me. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you say about him. I know the real Cole. You don’t.”
“Lexi, he doesn’t love yo—”
“You have no claim on me. You have no idea who I love or who loves me. You left me. Cole has never left me. He has done nothing but save me.” I push him away from me with both hands. “I owe him my life and by default you owe him. We may be family, but I have done without any family for a long time. I have survived against the odds.”
He narrows his eyes again, shakes his head, and slams my door. My adrenaline seeps out and I begin to feel the pain of Cole’s absence.
My world feels like it’s collapsing. He’s gone, really gone. And it’s my fault. He might get killed going back out there. I have no idea where he’ll hide from the commander or Wilson.
My body hurts so much, yet I burn with anger toward Keegan. How is it possible to love someone yet feel so conflicted about them? I can’t survive without Cole and Zeus. I almost lost Cole once and don’t ever want to know what life would be like without him. Tears pour down, soaking my blanket, my clothes, and my pillow. The nightmare feels like it just came true and everything fades to black.
A few days later, Keegan stomps into my room. “Get up!” He yanks off my blanket and tosses it to the floor. “We’re running out of time. If you want to fight, like you said you did, then get your ass out of bed and to the training center.” He throws my clothes at me with a look of annoyance.
I sit up slowly and inspect the shirt. The last time I wore it my heart was torn to pieces. I catch a faint whiff of Cole’s cologne and swallow hard to keep from crumbling. Ugh. I look up in time to catch my boots in midair.
“We don’t have time for you to lick your wounds.” He stands over me, a dark shadowy figure.
“I’m not licking my wounds. Let’s go.”
“He’s no good for you and you’re going to lose him one way or another. I’m not making this up. Your relationship will never end well.”
“Shut up. Teach me to fight.” I cut him off.
“Now that I can do. Let’s go.” A real smile seems to appear at the corner of his mouth.
I’ve lost everything. I’m done losing people without fighting back.
“Lexi, I know how you feel… I’ve lost a lot too. It might not seem like it, but I miss Dad.” Keegan puts a hand on my shoulder.
A tear trickles down, but I wipe it away. My father loved me deeply. He never yelled but always treated me with dignity and quiet respect. I never went to bed without a hug and kiss from him. Every night the last thing he would tell me was, “Remember, you can overcome anything short of death. I love you.”
“I lost you, I never wanted to leave you, but it was a choice I had to make. Can’t you see that? Sometimes we all have to make sacrifices.”
I wipe my tear away and shrug off his arm. “I don’t hate you for leaving… I understand now why you left. But as for sacrifices, I’ve made enough.”
He looks into my face. “What can I do to make it up to you? Besides the obvious.”
I take a deep, painful breath. “Get me the hell out of here.”
He reaches out his hands. I take them, and he gives me a strained smile. “Then let’s get started. It’s time you learned how to fight.”
His words make me cringe. I close my eyes and remember Cole’s face when I told him Bruno was teaching me. He was so accepting of it, so understanding about why I wanted to learn. Yet he didn’t want me to fight for the one thing I hold most dear.
“I started learning some already,” I say while pulling on my boots.
“From who?”
“Bruno,”
“He allowed that?”
I can tell whom Keegan means by the way he says his name.
“Yes, Cole did.” My fingers pull the laces tight as I say his name.
“Well, I’m sure it was just simple stuff like self-defense moves. That won’t help you in the least in this. You’ll learn the hard stuff now.”
I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. “What do you mean the hard stuff?”
“Like how to kill people,” he says in a nonchalant manner.
I raise my eyebrow with skepticism.
“I know what you’re thinking, but guards aren’t people.” I give him an indignant look. “Well, most of them anyway. They’re animals,” he says. “Channel all your anger into your training. It gets easier as you do it. Believe me.”
His words reflect his cocky ignorance, but I refuse to get into an argument with him. After all, he’s had to survive here a lot longer than I have and has probably seen worse things. Maybe.
“Now get focused and put these on.” Keegan throws worn wraps on my bed. “We train for two hours in the morning and three in the evening. If you want to fight, these sessions are mandatory.” His tone demands obedience and I get the feeling he’s used to having orders followed.
“Wait.”
“You changed your mind?”
“No, not about that, but I wanted to ask you if you could get me paint?”
“What are you talking about? You want paint?”
“Yes, I need to paint. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s like my therapy.”
He gives me a funny look and sighs. “Whatever, if it helps you get over what’s-his-face. I’ll get you paint.”