“Well, makeup or not, you’re a heart stopper,” she says. She stops and looks at me directly. “I don’t know your story. But I want you to loosen up a little and have fun tonight!”
I shrug. Maybe I should let go for a little while. Maybe I should try to have fun.
We enter the main training room, which has been decorated. I laugh out loud when I see the training ammunition from the machine guns strung across the ceiling. A good-looking, red-branded sinner offers free tattoos in the well-lit back corner of the room. People mingle with tiny plastic cups in their hands. Two long tables sit with a banquet of food laid out and drinks for all.
“Drink, ma’am?” I turn and a man offers me a clear cup with something sparkling inside. My eyes meet Veronica’s, and I nod my head. She smiles, and Keegan joins us.
“Cheers, ladies! To insurrection and our last party!” Everyone is relaxed and laughs while toasting. I down my drink and get another.
Pretty soon, people fill up the room. The music blasts from an old-school, beat-up piece of crap boom box that Keegan somehow managed to rebuild. Everyone dances even as their drinks spill. I laugh out loud as Keegan pulls me around, introducing me to others and giving me more to drink.
“Ryder, want to give Lexi a tattoo?” Keegan shouts.
I smack his chest. “I told you I don’t want one.” I can’t stop smiling. Even Zeus gives up following me and takes a post by the door.
Veronica’s hair falls out of her pins and flings around in wild circles as she dances. Sheldon relaxes at a table with a girl I don’t know. Keegan begins kissing a woman with long dark hair, and they disappear for a while. The music slows, and people partner up. My inhibitions are dulled, but I still refuse to dance with anyone. I sit next to Zeus and lean on him.
“Dance with me.”
I look up and Cole stands there, hand outstretched.
“Baby, please. This is about you and me tonight—not anyone else. I need to hold you, and I know you need that too. Come here.” He begs with his eyes, and I can’t refuse him.
I take his hand, forgetting everything around me, and follow him onto the floor. He holds me close as we dance. I press my head against his chest to keep from talking or looking at him. Just being this close is enough. Just feeling his heartbeat is enough. His hands rest on my lower back, and my skin burns at his touch.
“When we get out, I’m not leaving you no matter what you think is best for me. Without you, I’m already dead, and each day I get to be with you is one more day we didn’t have yesterday. It’s my choice and I choose to be with you—no matter what the consequences. I’ll fight for us because nothing else brings me happiness except loving you,” he whispers in my ear.
“I love you too. And I couldn’t agree more.”
“You’re the most extraordinary person I’ve ever known.” He takes my face in his hands. “Without a doubt, I’ll die to protect you, but you have to promise me something.”
“Stop. Don’t talk like that.”
“This is something you need to hear. We all aren’t going to make it out of this alive.” I shake my head, trying to fling away the words, but he presses on. “If I don’t make it, you owe me and you owe it to yourself to live your life the best way possible. Now I know you don’t want to hear this part, and believe me, it kills me to say it, but I have to. I want you to fall in love again, but only if he loves you as much as I do. Get married, have kids.”
“Stop! Don’t talk like that. Please, just dance with me. Don’t ruin this.” The lights around us glow and blur as tears fill my eyes.
He remains silent, as if agreeing with me. I glance up at his sharp jawline and his full lips. How I want to kiss the scar that runs through his lip. I reach up and touch his face, and he leans down, breathless. I begin to pull him in, my heart beating faster, and the music stops.
“I hope everyone’s enjoying the party. This could very well be our last night together. I want to thank all of you who have joined the revolt… Do you remember the first party we had? Our force was so small, smelly, and Sutton helped me to the toilet because I barfed all over the—”
The loudspeaker cuts off, and no one dances anymore.
“I do believe Keegan’s wasted,” I hear someone say.
I see Keegan pushing his way through the crowd with a different girl on his arm. I push Cole away, shaking my head. He looks confused and hurt, but I can’t think about that. Keegan stumbles up and grabs my shoulder.
“Are you hanging out with him?”
Sensing danger, I step between them and put my hand on Keegan’s chest. “No, I’m not. Calm down, okay? We just ran into each other and started talking. He was just leaving.” I feel instantly sober, like someone threw a glass of cold water into my face.
His eyes squint, and he leans left into the girl, who laughs. We stand opposite, and I wait for a fight to break out, but Keegan abruptly turns away. After I’m sure he’s gone, I turn back to Cole.
“You should probably go,” I say while glancing at the floor. I don’t want him to go, but the last thing we need is another fight to break out between them. Plus, alcohol makes Keegan even less predictable than before.
“Look at me, I’m just as much a part of this group as he is, and I’m risking my life as well,” he says while grabbing my hand.
The very thought makes me sick. “That’s not what I meant. Of course you can be here. I just think it’s best for both of us if you don’t hang around me.”
The comment stings him, and he pulls me in. “Please don’t do this. If something happens to you—”
“I don’t want to argue. Not tonight. You never asked me why, but I’m going to tell you anyway. I need to do this for myself, for my father, and for us. Not once in my life was I given the opportunity to fight for anything I believed in. Now here I stand, ready to break free.” I pull away my hand, regardless of how much I want him to hold it. “Just promise me you won’t die, because losing you would—”
“Shh. Baby, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll fight with everything I have to make it out of here alive, with you by my side.”
My heart breaks into tiny pieces. It’s hard to even imagine what life would be like without him. “I love you. I still have a brother to think about. I don’t want to lose him again.”
“I only respect your brother because I love you. No matter what.” He kisses my forehead and then leans down to my awaiting lips.
“Dude, we’ve gotta bounce.” Bruno places a hand on Cole’s shoulder, interrupting our moment. “Sorry, man, I’ll give you a minute.” Bruno winks at me and I smile.
Before I know it, Cole’s lips press against mine as he pulls my body against him like it’s our last time. And it might be.
“I don’t want to let you go,” he says.
“We’ll see each other soon.” I put my hands on each side of his face and pull his head down until his forehead rests on mine. “I promise.”
Bruno taps Cole’s shoulder. “Come on, lover boy. Time’s up.”
Cole releases me without taking his eyes off mine. “Till then.” Then he turns and follows Bruno out.
Instantly, I want him to reappear. I feel all twisted inside, like someone’s wringing out my soul. My head hurts and I suddenly feel out of place.
Everyone’s drunk and I’ve had enough, so I don’t feel bad leaving. I whistle for Zeus and he follows me back the long winding way to wing C. As I sit on my bed and pull off my boots, I realize I’m the only person in the room. It’s eerily quiet, but I’m comforted with Zeus lying by my side.
Early morning, someone pukes on the floor. I hear a groan and watch a shadow crawl to the bathroom. Lifting my head slowly, I wait for sickness to overtake me, but it doesn’t. Instead, a hammer pounds away at the back of my skull. Ugh. My muscles creak as I sit up. I must’ve slept through everyone coming back last night, and I’m strangely okay with that. Zeus hops off my bed as I stand. I slept in my makeup and didn’t change my clothes because they smell of Cole. It wafts to my nose like heaven—and my personal hell.