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“Everyone up. We have training in fifteen minutes,” a voice shouts into the room.

A collection of groans reply. After removing the oily stuff from my face, I’m first to arrive in the training room. I start running to warm up and gradually others appear.

They look awful. They reek of alcohol and their eyes are red from lack of sleep. Veronica shuffles in as she munches on some crackers. Sheldon throws up in a trash can on the edge of the room. What a bunch.

“Where’s Keegan?” I ask.

They look around and shake their heads. “Hung over. He was so wasted last night he shot an apple off the table and laughed so hard he started projectile barfing,” Isaac says.

“Fabulous. I’m pretty sure he kissed me right after that.” Veronica laughs.

“Oh, don’t you worry. You weren’t the only gal he kissed last night,” Sheldon interjects while cleaning up.

We begin running sprints to warm up and then sit down to stretch when Keegan arrives. His eyes are blood-red and sunken. His face is pale, and he carries a bottle of water.

Sheldon heaves again, making a God-awful retching sound. It almost makes me puke just listening to him.

“Seriously, if you’re that sick you need to go lie down and rest,” I say.

“No. If you party like an animal, then you train like one,” Keegan says.

I don’t even know how he can function. He looks like the walking dead.

“Unless you’re dead, you train,” he says.

Sheldon stands at attention, yet he looks miserable, along with everyone else.

“Let’s start with a ‘knees to the core’ workout,” Keegan shouts.

We all choose partners and begin kneeing each other across the room. My poor partner looks green. The session ends with most of the group puking in the trash can. It smells deplorable so I hold my nose before I get sick.

“I think we all enjoyed ourselves a little too much last night. I know I did,” Keegan says. “Wait until we overthrow the commander. That party will be insane.” The others smile through the haze. “Go back, rest, eat, and I’ll see you tonight. Tonight we make our final plans and rest, because come tomorrow, the revolt will show its ugly head,” he says.

I might be the only person that isn’t barfing, but I’m tired. I can’t shake Cole’s face from my memory, beckoning me to stay behind.

“Hey, wait up. Who was the amazingly handsome guy you were dancing with last night?” Veronica asks on our walk back to the room.

“Just a friend,” I say. The only reason I’ve survived the last few months. My head rewinds the night. I didn’t think anyone noticed Cole and me dancing together since most of them were pretty sloshed.

“Are you blind? The way he was looking at you… I would’ve assumed he was in love,” Veronica replies. She doesn’t say anything else, and I don’t elaborate. Lying in my bunk with Zeus after training, I relive the night over and over in my head.

Training in the evening is light, but the meeting afterward is heavy. All the groups from Keegan’s sector meet in the command center again and details of the operation are laid out for all to inspect. Sutton points to areas of strategic importance while the leaders ask him questions. Then he moves to speak to all of us.

“Timing is everything. If even one group is late, the whole operation could suffer. Coordination is imperative. It’s risky, but it’s how we must do it in order to disarm the guards. If not done properly, the guards could rearm or reinforce themselves for a stronger assault. We want to have control before that happens,” he says. “Keegan’s group will assault the main compound and take the commander into custody. My group will assist in blowing the main gate open and backing up Keegan’s group. Bruno’s group will lead the main assault on the headquarters.” Sutton continues speaking, but I look around for Cole and Bruno.

They sit in front with maps sprawled out before them. Cole marks his map using a red pen, and Bruno compares their routes.

I wish I could hear what they’re saying. By chance, Cole glances up at me and then back down at his map. His lips form a frown, his face heavy with concentration. Sutton’s voice becomes background noise as I watch him.

Keegan rubs the snake tattoo that wraps around his head and cracks his neck. He’s antsy, his hands constantly busy. In fact, his posture mirrors that of all the citizens. They shift their positions and whisper questions to their neighbors as Sutton pulls up another hologram of the Hole. At the conclusion, we break into our small groups. Spying on Cole, I see him rendezvous with his squad.

“We’ll begin at 0300. Now try to get some rest. You’ll need it,” Keegan says as we huddle. His words fall upon solemn faces. The joy experienced by all at the party fades as we contemplate tomorrow.

Trying to snatch a glimpse of Sutton and Cole as I leave is impossible. Too many people embrace and say their good-byes in the control room. I’m not tempted to cry. I’ve been through so much that the thought of my own death numbs me. The one thing I do care about is accomplishing our mission tomorrow and getting out of here to begin a new life with Cole. I pat Zeus’s head. At least I have him to comfort me.

No one sleeps. Whispers of prayers echo throughout the room. Sniffling occurs somewhere, but not one person closes their eyes.

I lie under my blanket, peering at the map of the commander’s quarters. It looks impossible to breach. I sigh and fold it up while rolling onto my back. I wonder what Cole is thinking right now. I didn’t get to say good-bye, but maybe that’s better for both of us. I just wish I could tell him I’ll be waiting for him afterward. I wish I could tell Sutton I’m not angry with him and that he’s incredible—for keeping the letter and making sure it got to me.

Most of all, I wish for peace. If I survive this, all I want is to live with Cole and to live in peace for the rest of my life, knowing I made the right choice.

CHAPTER 21

Loaded up with guns and ammunition, we trek the silent streets. The moonlight glints off our equipment, and another squad moves away from us toward the hospital. Their figures fade into the early hours of morning. Hours seem like minutes as sweat drips down my nose.

An array of assault rifles stolen or bribed from the guards mingles within our group. Some people, like Keegan, have M16s while others, like myself, carry handguns with knives as a secondary weapon. They also issued extra ammo, jackets, and helmets before we left. Mine latches uncomfortably tight under my chin, so I leave it unbuckled despite Keegan’s harsh words. He says I tempt fate with my stupid decisions. But I think fate could’ve taken me long before now and told him so. Now my strap hangs free.

I look left, right, and then left again. We need to get to our destination before the rest of the groups proceed.

Sutton set it up so each team would assault various points of strategic importance at the same time with the hope of causing mass confusion within the guard structure. I hope with all that’s in me that it works. We’ve all witnessed the havoc the guards can wreak when prepared. Now, we’ll find out how they act when assaulted. For a change.

My mind drifts to Cole—where he is, how he feels, if he’s thinking of me too. I carefully wrap the memory of his face inside my heart and close it for later. I need to focus on each step and thinking of him only draws my attention away from my mission.