I can’t cry, but I can’t rejoice either. I’ve lost so much. Too much.
The man who haunted my every dream lies dead on a filthy floor. I’ll never see his face again but in my dreams. Never have to fear the sound of his voice or the way his eyes could throw daggers into my heart. I can breathe again without fear of him shutting me in a closet or terrorizing everyone I love. But the high price paid for his death reminds me of Keegan.
“Tell me Keegan’s alive.”
Cole puts his hands on his head, averting his eyes, and says, “I don’t know.”
I push against him and run to where I last saw Keegan. Bruno’s men surround him. His blood washes over their fingers as they put pressure on his wound. His ashen face is drawn tight and his lips are almost white, yet his eyes are aware and full of uncertainty. He gasps for air as I kneel next to him.
“Oh my God, Keegan.” I clasp his hand and lean over his face, meeting his blue eyes. “Just hang in there. Help will be here soon.”
“Stay with me,” he manages to choke out before blood fills his mouth. He begins coughing uncontrollably and gasps for breath.
“Why aren’t you doing anything?” I scream. “Help him!” I grab the closest man’s shirt and plead. “Please.”
Cole wraps his arm around my shoulder, and with tears in his eyes, he says, “Just talk to him, Lexi. There’s nothing they can do. Be strong for him.”
I compose myself, even as tears stream over my cheekbones and my body shakes. I put his head in my lap as his eyes rest on mine. “I’m so sorry.”
He gurgles, shifts uncomfortably, and gathers his strength. “Live for me… I love you.” His chest falls, and he coughs violently. The crimson blood drips from the corners of his mouth.
My insides panic, and my heart feels like it’s collapsing in on itself. “I promise. I love you too, Keegan. I’ll keep fighting for the both of us.”
He takes one last breath before his whole body goes limp and his eyes give a blank stare. I feel his spirit, once lively and determined, drift away. I begin sobbing. “Damn it, why him? Why now? I wasn’t ready to lose him.”
The other men step back a moment, giving me some privacy. I feel like a piece of myself was ripped out of my chest. Another part of me is dead.
“Cole, we gotta go.” A voice interrupts the moment and I glance at Cole’s face. He gives me a look of regret and stands, holding out his arms for me.
I close Keegan’s eyes and kiss his forehead one last time as my tears drip onto his pale face. Then I reach up and fall into Cole’s arms.
Bruno and the others heft Keegan’s body up and I watch, feeling numb, as they carry him out.
Cole rests his chin on my head. “We have to leave. The revolt failed to liberate the Hole.”
CHAPTER 22
My hopes crash violently to the floor. We failed. I’m suddenly exhausted, and my knees give way. Cole catches me under the arms and lifts me up, carrying me out of the control room. My last view is of my stepfather’s lifeless form, bleeding out next to the doorway.
Cole breathes hard as he carries me down the steep staircase and back into the hall where Keegan and I walked only minutes ago. I see bodies stretched out everywhere, lying in unnatural positions. Heat rushes up my back and straight to my head, making me woozy. I press my face to his chest and close my eyes. I feel him lifting his legs as he steps over the bodies, and I hear his boots squeal on the floor, slick from blood.
“We’re almost out. Just a little farther, okay?” he says.
I can’t bring myself to respond. My head lies against his chest and my hands cling to him like a life preserver. All strength has been sapped from my body. I’m leaving without Keegan. But at least I didn’t let my stepfather get the best of me. At least I wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger.
“Crap, they’re coming.” Cole runs with me in his arms like he has so many times before. His jaw clenches and unclenches, but his grip on me never fails. We move farther down with each staircase and hallway that we take. Cole slams us through the last doorway into the blinding sun.
The evidence of war is all over—chunks of walls missing, bodies and parts strewn across our path, damaged valuables, and the mass exodus of people the closer we get to the gate. Their hurried strides and panicked voices bring me back to myself. I look around. Everyone runs in one direction.
Out.
The heavy gate of the Hole appears to the right. To my astonishment, it’s blown open. Crowds run, shove, and trip their way into freedom. But no one rejoices. Families with children and branded sinners shove their way through into the blast of sunlight and hot air. The constant exchange of gunfire in the distance reminds me that some teams are still fighting. Thick black smoke forms a mushroom cloud that hovers somewhere near the hospital.
Cole fights against the tide of traffic, his head on a swivel like he’s looking for something. He steps over the high-speed railroad tracks. No one is going to work today.
A black SUV halts with a screech in front of us and startles me. The door swings open and Bruno sits in the driver’s seat, screaming at us.
“Quick! Get in! Get in!”
Cole opens the back door, shoves me inside, and then jumps in the front. Zeus meets me in the back seat, licking my face with delight and whipping me with his tail. I hug him close and begin to cry.
“Zeus! Oh my goodness, Zeus! You’re alive!”
Our reunion isn’t sweet for long though as people try to jump onto the vehicle. Their fists pound on the windows, their faces laced with fear and anger. They beg for a ride, but Bruno doesn’t stop.
“Sutton—what about Sutton?” I ask.
“He’s in another vehicle,” Bruno says.
“What the hell happened out there?” Cole says.
“I don’t know, man. I’ve never seen so much blood. A lot of people died today. Only a few of us got out,”
“I know,” Cole says.
“Wilson was slaughtering left and right, and when we got within shooting range, all of a sudden—he vanished. Just completely disappeared!”
“How could he just disappear?”
“We think he’s at the lab, but we don’t have the time or the manpower to go after him,” Bruno says as he makes another turn. His hands grip the wheel and his knuckles bleed from combat.
Cole slams his head back against the headrest. “Damn it, you’re right.”
“I was hoping we’d at least get the safe groups out,” Bruno says.
“What safe groups?” I ask.
“The safe groups were pre-selected sinners that Sutton rounded up. Could you imagine if the entire Hole got out?”
“No,” Cole says. “Let’s just get the hell out of here.”
Bruno continues. “If we manage to stay alive long enough, our next mission is trying to figure out a way to free—”
“Bruno!” Cole says. “Let’s just get the hell out of here!”
“Roger that!”
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“Somewhere safe,” Bruno says.
“Like there is such a thing,” Cole says.
I lean my head against the window and exhale. We’re almost safe. We’re out of the hellhole and Cole’s with me. I feel relieved, but it is bittersweet. My stepfather’s dead, along with my brother. I have now lost everyone in my family. I only have who is in this vehicle with me, and Sutton. I look at Cole. I see his face, covered with dirt, smeared with sweat and blood, and am thankful he can share this with me. This burden. These memories. The rest of the world might be upside down and inside out, but Cole’s mine forever.