“With a debt,” he reminded her.
“I would pay off the debt,” she said quickly. “She wouldn’t have to know!”
“Would you listen to yourself, Rachel?” Chase snapped. “I hope you don’t make that offer to anyone else! Another man would jump at it, and you wouldn’t be doing the girl any favor. Now, I’m willing to help you, but not to the point of human sacrifice. And you’re not that cold-blooded, either, so just pretend you never had this idea.”
“Then, for God’s sake, tell me what I’m supposed to do!” Rachel started crying. “I can’t take much more of this. I’m not used to such hostility, and from my own daughter—it’s unbearable! She doesn’t want me here. She walks away whenever I talk to her. She would be happier if I left, yet I can’t leave her here alone. I just can’t do that. She has to have someone to look out for her.”
“Take it easy now, lady.” Chase began to comfort her. “Perhaps it’s time you considered paying someone to be her guardian so you don’t have to do it.”
“But who could I trust with the responsibility? Who wouldn’t take advantage of her? ...” She brightened suddenly. “I could trust you, Chase. Would you—”
“No, I wouldn’t! I couldn’t handle it, Rachel. For some reason I lose my temper every time I talk to that girl. I’d end up wringing her neck if she were left in my charge.”
Jessie left then, horrified and humiliated beyond anything she had ever felt before. An agony of pain swelled in her chest, constricting her throat, pain of contempt and scorn, pain of utter rejection. It hurt, it hurt so bad she wanted to cry. But she wouldn’t cry because of them, she told herself. She wouldn’t.
The tears were blinding as she reached the stable. She was about to collapse when a child’s voice said, “What’s wrong, Jessie?”
She couldn’t bear for anyone to know, let alone Rachel’s son.
“Nothing’s wrong,” she snapped. “I just got some dust in my eyes.”
“Can I help?”
“No! I’m fine. The watering washed away the dust.”
She walked past him to Blackstar’s stall, but Billy followed. “I didn’t know you were still here.”
“Well I am, aren’t I?”
He was not put off. “Are you going out on the range now?” he asked as she saddled Blackstar. When she didn’t answer, he persisted. “Can I go with you this time?”
“No!”
“But I won’t get in your way, Jessie, I promise I won’t. Please?”
The pleading eagerness in that voice broke through, somehow, and she relented.
“All right.” Then she added sternly, so he wouldn’t think she was easily swayed, “But only this time. You can use that sorrel over there, if you know how to saddle him.”
Billy let out a whoop of delight and ran to the horse. But the fact was, each time old Jeb had showed him how to saddle a horse so he could ride around the valley, Jeb had actually put the saddle on himself. Billy found himself stumped.
He couldn’t even get the heavy saddle off the railing, let alone onto the horse’s back. The horse was higher than he was, and so was the railing.
Jessie finished with Blackstar and led him over to where Billy was struggling, shaking her head in amusement. The saddle he was fighting with was an old forty-pounder. Yet there was no other saddle in sight. She had to admit, the kid had determination.
She helped him tug the saddle down from the railing. “Now, together... one, two, three.” They swung the saddle up into place, and Jessie stepped back. “Can you manage now?”
“Sure. And thanks.”
Jessie waited impatiently as he tried to do the girth that was tucked under the saddle. His short arms couldn’t reach it. He finally went around the horse and carried the strap under him, then buckled it too loosely.
“Honestly, can’t you do anything?” she said gruffly as she came forward again to help.
Billy watched her stern expression as she finished the job. He grinned, happy. What she was doing spoke better than words.
“You don’t really hate me, do you, Jessie?”
She looked up, startled. Why was he able to see through her like that? “Of course I do.”
But Billy persisted, still grinning. “I think you like me just a little.”
“Well, that just goes to show how much you know,” she said lightly. She’d meant only to tease, but when she looked at him, there were tears glistening in his eyes. “Oh, Billy, I was only teasing. Honestly. Of course I like you.” He looked relieved, and she added, “But don’t you dare tell your mother I said so, you hear?”
Chapter 8
OLD Jeb was in his glory when he was storytelling, and he had a rapt audience in Billy Ewing. Jessie was amused, leaning back against a railing and watching the expressions on her half brother’s face as he listened to Jeb recount the time he’d come that close to being hanged.
Back at the end of ‘63, the Vigilantes of Montana had nearly sent Jeb to Boot Hill. The Vigilantes were formed in Virginia City, a town known to its shame to have been the scene of two hundred murders in only six months. Jeb had simply been mistaken for a member of a large gang. He was tried and sentenced to hang. The only reason he was spared was that the gang member he was mistaken for happened to wander into the crowd to watch the hanging. As he approached the crowd, he was recognized. It was an experience Jeb loved to talk about.
Jessie had heard it so often, though. She left the stable without even being noticed, so engrossed were the young man and the old one.
She moved on slowly toward the house, stopping at the porch and stretching out on one of the leather settees. The air was still and not too cold. Jessie didn’t want to go in just yet. It was late, but not too late.
Jessie closed her eyes against her thoughts, hoping the clear air would clear her mind so she could sleep. Just as she was beginning to feel peaceful, she heard, “Where’s the boy?”
Jessie opened her eyes slowly. She didn’t see Chase at first, and had to look around to find him sitting on the steps, leaning back against a post so he could face her.
“You’ll find Billy in the stable with Jeb.”
“I wasn’t looking for him, just wondering where he was. I thought he might have turned in early, as much riding as he did today.”
Jessie grinned to herself, remembering how hard Billy had tried to keep up with her. “He’ll probably be sore in the morning, but I think he enjoyed himself.”
“I’ve no doubt of that. He’s wanted to go with you for a long time.”
Jessie sat straight up and looked at him. “How would you know?”
“He tells me things,” Chase replied a little proudly. “Will you be taking him out again?”
“I haven’t thought about that.” Jessie shrugged. “Not tomorrow, anyway. I won’t be here tomorrow.”
“Oh?”
Jessie felt her anger rising, and underneath that, she felt some of the pain Chase had caused her that morning.
“Yes, ‘Oh,’ and it’s none of your business why, mister.”
“I wish you’d consider calling me Chase,” he said nicely.
“I don’t know you well enough.”
He grinned. “That can be easily rectified. What would you like to know about me?”
“Nothing,” she said stubbornly, closing her eyes again.
“That’s too bad, because I find myself infinitely curious about you.”
She looked at him sharply. Was he teasing her?
“Why?” she demanded.
“You’re so different from most girls. I find it fascinating, the way you’ve been raised. Tell me something. Is it what you wanted, this kind of life?”
“What difference does it make?” she said. “It’s done. I am the way I am.” She tried hard to keep the bitterness out of her voice. She would never admit to this man or to Rachel how much she hated her life. She wanted more than anything else to look and act like other girls. She’d had a chance to change herself when her father died, a chance to be normal at long last. She would have her chance again when the two interlopers were gone.