She might love Brawn but he only wanted the baby. She was sure he’d try harder than Bradley had to make it work between them but she knew better than to hope. She’d been there and done that. The pain would be much greater by the time it ended. A life without Brawn in it…having to face the day when he’d be in someone else’s bed, touching another woman… Sobs racked her body.
Memories surfaced of some of the attempts she’d made to save her marriage. No matter what she’d done she always felt as if she disappointed Bradley. For their first-year anniversary she’d gone all out to liven up their sad sex life. She’d made a dinner and lit candles all around their room. She’d met him at the door in high heels, garter belt and black silk.
Bradley had taken one look at her, frowned and told her she looked like a whore. He’d been pissed and had spent the night on the couch. He’d gaped at her as though she were a stranger and she realized that they actually were just two people who’d ended up together but shouldn’t have been. She’d been pathetic and she’d never be that woman again. NEVER!
It had been an endless and vicious cycle of Becca feeling like a disappointment to Bradley until the day he died. Now there was Brawn. She wasn’t what he wanted or needed either. They had nothing in common, were from two different worlds and the only thing that bound her to Brawn was the baby growing inside her womb. She couldn’t survive that kind of heartbreak again, of being in a relationship doomed from the beginning.
She couldn’t stop the tears that fell. She lost all control when the sobs hit. She pressed her mouth against her arm to muffle the sounds as she just let all the pain pour out.
The sound of the door breaking was so loud it made her gasp. Brawn tore the shower door open. Shock stilled her tears as he fell to his knees beside the tub.
Two strong arms gripped her around her back and under her knees, hoisted her up and he held her tightly against his chest.
“I’m so sorry, beautiful,” he rasped. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I don’t smell blood. Tell me where it hurts.”
It took her seconds to recover. Brawn held her where he’d yanked her out of the shower and sat on the bathroom floor with her. He nuzzled her head, held her even tighter and rocked her a little on his lap as if it would comfort her. He thought she was injured. That sank in.
“I-I’m not hurt. Put me down.” She sniffed, freed an arm from the tangle of his to wipe at her tears and wished for a tissue. She lifted her head and saw fear in his gaze. Worry. He was certain he’d caused her physical harm. “Brawn, I’m not hurt that way. I’m really okay. I’m getting you soaked. Let go.”
“No.” He managed to straighten with her in his arms, something only someone very strong could do, and carried her out of the bathroom. “I’m so sorry, Becca. I tried to be gentle.” He thought he’d hurt her sexually and he sounded guilty and torn up over it.
“You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.”
“Becca,” he rasped, “you are crying. I hurt you.”
He laid her down gently on the bed, tore the blanket a bit to cover her and came down on it next to her. His arms wrapped around her to gently ease her onto her side and he spooned up tightly around her as if his body could protect her.
It was sweet, it made her love him more and she gave up trying to stay in control. Why couldn’t he love her? Things would have been so perfect if he could. Hot tears spilled and she buried her face in the bedding, crying again. Damn hormones!
“I’m here, beautiful. I’ve got you,” he crooned. “It will be okay.”
Chapter Nineteen
“I’m sorry, beautiful. I’d rather hurt myself than you.”
Becca could hear the honest distress in Brawn’s voice. It forced her to get a grip on her emotions. “It’s not you. I swear you didn’t hurt me during sex. It’s…just me. I’m a mess inside. Please, Brawn. You didn’t hurt me.”
“Then why are you crying? Look me in the eye as we talk.”
She sniffed. “We have nothing in common. I’m not what you want. You…” She sniffed again. “You and I can’t work out. We need to stop seeing each other. It’s only going to be harder once the baby comes if we don’t end this now.”
His body tensed behind hers. “I am not going to end us, Becca. Never. You are mine.”
Becca started to cry again. She heard a door slam and thought it was from another suite. Brawn held her firmly and his body was cocooned around hers from the back.
“I’m here,” Trisha panted. “What is the emergency?”
Becca tensed and lifted her head to gawk at Trisha. The doctor wore a pink jogging suit and carried a bag. Their eyes met and Trisha moved toward the bed.
“Brawn said he might have injured you during sex, Becca. Where are you hurting? Is there any bleeding? Cramping?”
“She says I did not injure her during sex.” Brawn sighed. “I do not know why she cries but I see pain in her eyes, Trisha. How do I help her?”
Trisha dropped her bag and sat on the edge of the bed. She met Becca’s tear-filled eyes. “What is it, Becca? Talk to me. You have Brawn really worried. Trust me. For a Species male to call out for help this way, he’s really worried. Did he accidentally hurt you during sex? Talk to me.”
Becca bit her lip. “I was married before.”
Trisha blinked. “I remember. I was surprised when I found out because your last name is the same as your father’s.”
“I took my maiden name back after my husband died.”
“Do you feel guilty over having a baby when he is dead?” Trisha’s features softened. “That’s normal but you know you shouldn’t.”
Becca wiped at tears. “My marriage was miserable.”
Trisha gave her a compassionate look. “You’re afraid to commit. That’s understandable.”
Becca shook her head. “Bradley was an investment broker. He wanted a wife who came from money and my grandfather was loaded. He thought he’d have an in with my grandpa and get the job of handling his money if he married me. I thought he loved me but it wasn’t me he wanted.”
“Shit.” Trisha handed her a tissue she pulled from the bag. “I’m so sorry.”
“What is an investment broker? Why would he want in with your grandfather? In where?” Brawn propped his head up on his arm.
Trisha answered. “He thought marrying Becca would make him rich through her family. That’s the bottom line, isn’t it?” Trisha glanced at her.
Becca blew her nose. “He didn’t know my gramps planned to leave it all to charity, that I wouldn’t be rich when he died and was only left part of his property. Bradley was furious when he found out he wasn’t even allowed to sell my house. My grandpa has a clause that my father has to agree to sell too since he owns the other half and Dad won’t ever do that. Ever. In other words, he couldn’t touch it.”
“Good for your grandpa,” Trisha muttered.
“To make matters worse, I embarrassed him around his friends because I didn’t understand much about his job or what he did. We had nothing in common. I tried to be what I thought he wanted but I could never make him happy. We were both miserable. The only reason we didn’t divorce was because he didn’t want to admit he’d made a mistake to everyone. It would have embarrassed him more than I did and been bad for business. People trusted him with their money but they like family men to do that. Not single divorced guys who drink, party and could be playboy types. I didn’t divorce him because my father had told me I was making the biggest mistake of my life getting married. I’m stubborn and I kept thinking if I tried harder I could turn it around and save our marriage.”
The room remained silent. Becca was glad she couldn’t see Brawn, with him snuggled behind her. She didn’t think she could continue talking if she had to look him in the eyes. It was important though that she make him understand why she was crying and why they could never work out.