“I felt things.” He was grim. “I wanted to call, wanted to go to her, but I didn’t want to cause her pain. Everyone said I would do exactly that. I was thinking of her feelings. She saw horrible things when we were taken and got a taste of what we had dealt with in our past. I saw horror in her eyes sometimes and fear. I thought she might relive that if she saw me. I left it up to her to contact me. I hoped every day she would but she never did. Why didn’t she come to me if she had feelings? Why?” He stopped pacing to stare at Trisha. “I’m happy about this baby. I get her. It makes her mine and that’s what I wanted. Why can’t she see that?”
Trisha bit her lip. “We’re not Species, Brawn. In our world the men usually come after the women.”
“I read books and modern females want to be the aggressors in relationships.”
The doctor smiled. “Yeah, well, most of those articles don’t speak for all women. I like a man asking me out, opening my doors and being the one in charge. I’m mated to a Species male, remember? Slade is near barbaric at times and I love that about him. Don’t go overboard and insult her by not taking her feelings into consideration but women want a male to sweep them off their feet. She waited for you to come storm the castle.”
“What castle?”
She grinned. “It’s a saying. She wanted you to come after her and tell her that she had changed your mind about humans.” She sobered. “You didn’t and now she believes you only want the baby. She carries your son and she feels like you’re only trying to be with her for the sake of the child. No woman wants to be with a man who only wants her because she got pregnant.”
Brawn frowned. “Becca did change my mind about humans and I want her. The child is a bonus but I’d want her even if there wasn’t one.”
“You need to talk to her, Brawn. She thinks you are going to feel trapped with her because of the baby. She thinks she can never sexually please you and that you will seek out other women to fill that need. She is afraid that because of your differences you can never love her and be happy with her. Her husband never loved her or made her happy. She’s been hurt inside badly.”
“I am not him,” Brawn growled. “I would never hate her and I would never seek another woman. She does please me.”
“Her husband married her for the wrong reasons, Brawn. You are trying to claim her for the wrong reasons. She shouldn’t be your mate because she’s carrying your child. She should be your mate because you love her and want to spend the rest of your lives together. The baby should just be a result of that love.”
“I will talk to her.”
Trisha nodded. “Keep talking to her because she’s been hurt by another man. You are going to have to find patience and keep your temper in check.”
“I do not have patience.”
Trisha stood and lifted her bag off the floor. “It is a good time to learn.”
Brawn watched Trisha leave the bedroom and waited until he heard the hotel room door close. He took a few deep breaths and tried to get his thoughts in order before walking out into the living room. Becca sat on the couch. Their gazes met.
Brawn slowly stalked toward the couch, sank to his knees on the floor before her and searched her eyes. She wasn’t crying anymore but the look of sadness he found there nearly tore his heart from his chest.
“I understand why you cry, Becca.”
“You didn’t hurt me in bed. I didn’t want you thinking you had. I’m sorry I unloaded my past on you but you don’t seem to understand why we can’t be together.”
“When I met you, I was very attracted to you.”
That statement surprised her and her eyes widened.
“I admitted as much when you were presenting your ass to me in the bedroom while you removed the sheets from the bed. Do you want to know what I wanted to do?” He didn’t wait for her response. “I wanted to fall to my knees behind you and touch you, Becca. I wanted to smell you, taste you and bury my dick deep inside you. I wanted to hear you make noises of pleasure until you cried out my name.”
“But I’m human.”
“I’ve never wanted a human before but I wanted you, Becca. It shocked me and it made me angry.”
She bit her lip. “Why?”
“I never understood why a few of my kind were attracted to yours and would take a human as a mate. All I have known are our females, Becca. Wasn’t it a little daunting for you to be attracted to me?”
“I was a little surprised but you’re very good-looking. It didn’t matter to me that we’re different.”
“When we were kidnapped you got a taste of what I’ve been subjected to in the past. Imprisoned, forced to undergo testing and being under the control of others and the constant fear of our usefulness being over. They killed us sometimes. You were forced to touch me to get those semen samples. I felt guilty for enjoying it but I did. My mind has become as twisted as my captors in that regard. I thought you’d be better off without me yet I wanted you, Becca. I missed you when we were freed and I wanted you back in my life. I feared you might hate me for what you’d endured.”
Becca stared into his eyes and hoped the sincerity she saw was real and not just wishful thinking on her part. “I could never hate you for what happened to us. You kept me going, comforted me, but you have to admit we wouldn’t have gotten into this situation if you’d been given a choice.” She glanced down at her rounded belly before holding his gaze. “It was comfort sex.”
“I loved touching you. That’s why I felt guilty. You are so soft and so beautiful, Becca. I wanted you in the worst way and was glad to be locked inside a cage with you. I was almost grateful because I could touch you. I never thought being with a human female would be good and it wasn’t, Becca. It was so much better than good that it is an insult to use such a weak word. You felt right to me, beautiful. Your touch and your scent. Your body around mine. You were perfect to me. Do you understand? The look in your eyes, the taste of your mouth and the feel of you inside where I didn’t want to leave has driven me crazy daily since we were freed.”
“That’s not true. You would have called me if you wanted to see me again. You didn’t.”
“I was ordered not to and had to agree that it might only cause you pain. I believed you’d come after me if you wanted to see me. I think like a Species because I am one. Our women are very blunt, aggressive and tell us what they want. I made a mistake and should have come after you.”
She was speechless, wanted to believe him and finally found her voice. “If it wasn’t for this baby we would never have seen each other again. You would have gotten on with your life and forgotten all about me. A baby isn’t a reason to start a relationship, Brawn. I won’t be with you just because I got knocked up.”
“I was glad when I learned of the child.” He took a deep breath and calmed down. “That makes me an asshole, doesn’t it? I am glad that my seed took inside you. When they told me that the doctors would make sure you had not gotten impregnated with medicines, I wanted to roar my rage because if my seed took I knew I could have you again and again because I would have a right to you.” His eyes narrowed and his nose flared. “I am a bastard and an asshole but damn it, Becca, never think I will hate you or feel trapped by you having this baby. You should feel trapped because I am not letting you go. You might be horror-filled to have my baby but I am very well pleased by it. Trisha says I need patience but what I need is for you to realize you are my mate and that you belong to me. You need to stop fighting it because it drives me insane.”
“I’m not the kind of mate who will make you happy.”
He growled at her. “Why do you think that?”
“I’m forever pissing you off. You are growling at me again and showing teeth, first off. Second off, in the bedroom, while we were having sex, you had to hold back and you obviously didn’t want to. Admit it, Brawn. Wouldn’t you have loved not to have to be careful? Wouldn’t it have felt better for you if you could have done all the things you knew would hurt me?”