I made it to the car and drove through the alley. When I got onto a main thoroughfare, I let out a long breath. The post-event adrenaline flooded me; it was all I could do to keep my hands on the wheel. I was confused, or at least incapable of rational thought, so I focused on getting myself home, on getting the car in the garage and myself into bed.
I would sleep tonight, I decided, at least for the few remaining hours of night afforded me. Like the flip of a switch, I was utterly exhausted. I fell onto the bed and closed my eyes. It was true, I’d been blaming Ernesto’s killer for the death of my family. Maybe I’d done so to transfer culpability from where I thought it really belonged, at my own feet. But I now realized it had been something different altogether.
Don’t, Jason.
She’d meant so much more with those two words, I thought, than just sparing Kiko’s life. I’d assigned blame for her death everywhere I could find-myself, Hector, Kiko, whomever-to avoid the more plausible and, therefore excruciating truth, that what happened to my wife and daughter was nobody’s fault.
The next thing I remembered was her hand in mine, our fingers interlocked, gripped so tightly that one hand ceased being independent of the other. Then, slowly, a release, our fingers straightening, our palms separating, nothing but our fingertips in contact.
And then my hand reached for hers and there was nothing. I opened my eyes and it was morning.
85
I needed some extra time to get ready this morning, having discovered a number of cuts along my hairline from shards of glass last night. My hands were swollen and sore, but I didn’t think I’d broken any fingers. I had plenty of reminders of what had happened last night but it still felt more like a dream than anything else.
Lee Tucker and Chris Moody were waiting for me when I walked into Suite 410 at eight in the morning. They’d been deliberating quietly and hadn’t heard me enter. They popped to attention when I showed my face.
“Cut myself shaving,” I said when Tucker asked.
“Shaving your forehead?”
“I wasn’t paying attention.”
Moody leaned back in his chair. He didn’t look good. His eyes were set deeply and shaded dark. He usually had a bright-and-eager look about him, but these were long days he was spending.
“Do you think you’ll be having more conversations with Snow?” Moody asked. “I mean, after the incident last night. Is he too embarrassed now? Or do you think you’ll still be on the inside?”
“Hard to say,” I said. “My guess, I’m still in.”
“Good. Because we need more,” he told me. “Snow’s a slippery one.”
The same word Tucker had used. Slippery, as in, we know he’s guilty but he doesn’t quite admit it.
“You mean, you need more,” I said.
“You need to pin him down,” he said. “When he gets on a topic, you have to keep pushing it. You just let him move on.”
“It’s not cross-examination,” I said. “It’s conversation. I can’t force it.”
“You’re being too cautious, Jason. You already passed their test. You passed. Greg failed.”
“Whose test? Charlie’s test? Yeah, I passed his test.”
“Oh, and what happened to ‘Charlie wasn’t calling the shots’? You think Snow doesn’t know anything about what happened to you and Greg Connolly that night?”
These guys had listened to every word of the F-Bird from last night. They’d heard what both Madison and the governor had said about Greg Connolly. They’d heard Charlie Cimino say that he hadn’t told Madison anything about it.
Chris Moody did one of his patented chuckles, filled not with humor but condescension. “You think because Madison Koehler and Governor Snow played dumb last night, it means they don’t know anything?”
“You weren’t there,” I said.
“No, but I know these people. I know them and I know a hundred people like them. They aren’t going to admit it to you, Jason. Don’t be so damn naive. These people are programmed to lie. They’re smart enough not to admit anything out loud.”
Their skepticism wasn’t surprising, nor was it unfounded. I was as cynical as the next person. But I was there last night. I saw both of them, Madison and the governor, when they talked about Greg Connolly. I didn’t trust anyone in this room or anyone working for the governor, but I trusted my instinct, and it told me that neither of them had anything to do with Greg’s murder.
“I don’t think either of them knows,” I said. “And I’m not sure I want to do this anymore.”
“You’re not-” Lee Tucker’s head snapped in my direction. “What, you’re announcing your retirement?”
“Maybe I am.”
“Kolarich, I’m really not in the mood for this.” Chris Moody pushed himself out of his chair. This conversation was upsetting him terribly, not simply because I was resisting him but because I was going to be his star witness at trial, and if asked, I would testify that I believed what each of these people were saying about Greg Connolly.
“Okay.” Lee Tucker, ever the peacemaker, raised a steady hand. “You think what you think; we think what we think. But keep pushing, Jason, okay? If you’re right, then you’ll just prove that to us. What’s the harm in probing the subject a little harder?”
I didn’t answer. I was running out of steam here. I’d found what I was looking for. I’d finally figured out who was behind the murders and why. And I’d done plenty for the feds. They had Charlie Cimino on countless felonies, including a pretty good case on the murder of Greg Connolly. They had Madison Koehler and Brady MacAleer on the illegal trades for union endorsements-both the appointment of George Ippolito to the supreme court and the jobs for the other union boss’s people, for whom we’d had to bend and twist a number of laws. They had three of the main players in the governor’s inner circle dead to rights. Moody could ask those people what the governor knew and when he knew it.
Moody was staring at me, chewing on his lip like he was debating something. “The governor’s going to appoint George Ippolito to the supreme court tomorrow,” he said.
I looked at him. “How do you know that?”
He gave me a look that told me I didn’t need to know that information. Madison had made it sound like it might be a few days away. But if she’d changed her mind, she wouldn’t have told me.
“Shit,” I said. “Are you going to move before then?”
He shrugged. “It’s being debated right now. A lot of it depends on you, Counselor.”
Sure. Right now, they were playing offense. Every day brought more admissions from the governor’s people. Every day without an arrest was a day that the federal government could build a stronger case. The spigot would shut off the moment the arrests were made.
And as of right now, from my tally, the main target of their investigation-Governor Carlton Snow-had made a grand total of one clearly incriminating statement, his suggestion about getting those pro-choice groups to cough up money to get him to veto that abortion bill. I hadn’t heard anything else on that subject, and it was entirely possible that nothing was happening on that front. And beyond that, the governor had only made veiled references to the things going on under him.
Which meant that they had the governor’s people, but not the governor. Would they dance on the people they had-Madison, Charlie, Brady-to get more? Sure. Of course. And they’d probably succeed. But there was nothing more damning than getting it from the governor’s mouth.
“Jason, listen.” Lee Tucker framed his hands. “We never expected you. We never expected to get this close inside. But you’re here. You’ve helped us expose corruption at the highest levels of government. Now we’re this close to Snow. Jason, they’re insulating him. It’s how this always works. His top advisers filter everything. It all stops at them, and then when no one else is around, they whisper in his ear. They carry out this charade for the exact reason that we’re having this conversation-so the governor can deny everything.”