Someday we will be rich. You’ll see and then we will spend money and buy everything a dog a Ford letter paper, furs, a hat, kinds of purse.
For Helen, touring Italy. And we will buy a villa someday or a farm if that is what you really want I love you. A Florentine chandelier and a Venetian one. Two more Maine coons perhaps (another gray, another one with stripes) and time to write and all the time in the world to write. Maybe another orange one.
What would you buy?
I would buy all the time in the world to write. I’d quit my job.
Because it takes all the time.
One wish: 1) time to write.
2) time to write.
And after that.
time to write.
Stretches and stretches of happiness.
More time.
Left.
Left.
Pretty.
I
had
pretty
a
good
pretty.
I often think about another.
Who need never be mentioned.
Lifting belly high.
That is what I adore always more and more.
Some Amys in that way and some not.
A basket and so forth and what got lost.
Delirious and looking up from lip and clitoris and mound she sees the city of Paris lit up. Trembling was all living, living was all loving, someone was then the other one. The women walk the streets syntactic. Sing Paris Paris Paris Paris. A large white poodle dog and walking down the boulevard.
Chapter Pussycat
Touring through that part of Italy. Her meals: written in a notebook — penne with funghi, game hen with Norcia sauce, tiramisu.
She came to be happier than anyone else who was living then.
She came to be happier… In the gorgeous city of Paris. Poodle dog. Yellow flowered hat. Alice Babette.
10,000 paradises
Everyone dies. Say it enough times. Everyone dies everyone dies everyone even you everyone
with and without cats
with and without baskets
dies 10,000 kinds of thank you and paradise
First religion
She saw me and she said two
will stay and two will go away, two will go away and two
will stay and two will stay and two will go away. Can you go
away so soon.
First religion
First religion here.
Second religion
Second religion here.
Third religion
Third religion here.
Fourth religion
Fourth religion being here and having
her and she having been and she is perfection.
Third religion
Third religion being here or is she perfection
third religion is here and she is perfection.
Third religion or is she perfection.
We have left the cathedral behind us. Saints seen so far:
How many saints are there in it?
Beginning again and again is a natural thing… Beginning again and again and again explaining composition and time is a natural thing
A Little Novel
Any and everyone is an authority.
Welcome.
Does it make any difference who comes first.
What Does She See When She Shuts her Eyes, a novel So the characters in this novel are the ones who walk in the fields and lose their dog and the ones who do not walk in the fields because they have no cows.
When she shuts her eyes she sees the green things among which she has been working and then as she falls asleep she sees them a little differently.
When she shuts her eyes… Everyone dies. I can’t cope. A gun would be nice. What’s wrong with me? Please say it soon.
Everyone dies.
You have cancer.
Why do you lie?
Everyone.
A Short Novel
I feel useless
Is it in any particular corner?
What does she see when she shuts her eyes a novel.
Paradise. What does she see?
And how to thank you.
You changed my life.
And how to thank you.
It was nearly very carefully in plenty of time.
This is the time to do or say so.
Chapter
Not useless. Not a bird. Not a cherry. Not a third. Not useless.
Not at all. Not elite. Not small.
It’s useless.
So the characters in this novel are looking out the window of a green Fiat touring Italy and one of them is thinking about Gertrude Stein and reading her out loud in between cypress cypress cypress and the map and the guidebook and I feel useless.
Zenka.
The month of June and Defiance due and The Bay of Angels excerpt due and The novel of thank you due for Martine. And that perfectly awful woman Mattie Garrett at the Tuscany Writing Workshop and the computer up in smoke.
Oh that perfectly awful Mattie Garrett, she thought turning toward the dark window, has spoiled all of our fun!
The fax this afternoon. Useless.
Blue birds on a black hat. And as it happens. Black birds on a blue hat. And as it happens. Blue birds on a blue hat. And not next to as it happens. Black bird and a black hat.
Chapters 84 and almost 85, but not quite
People die in and out of order
in easy and hard ways people die
people die out of—
The things we used to do
sweetness of the yellow broom.
even though you are 84
even though everyone must
everyone has got to
in or out of order
drinking vieux marc, a trip to the sea
as if love could send you back there again
swept up, side swept, wind
like magic as if love
your beloved Dylan Thomas and Eliot your friend,
he was always kind, he lent me money, not anti-Semitic, he
lent me money, nonsense, oh such nonsense.
And your Gertrude Stein
People die in 5, 6, 7 and
7, 6, 5
in the day and the night.
Afraid and not.
Happy and sad times.
And that fall how I just thought if I could make a pot-au-feu I might survive — and you looked on sadly. And you took my hand after awhile. That fall you saved my life. For the first time. Thank you.
And if I could only help you now. Somehow. I want to very much.
Elissa and Annabelle and Anatole. Dale and Julie and Suzanne and Marilyn and Monica and the French Carole and Diana Chapmann she’s called.
Judith.
Urgent. My darling Zenka passed away this morning. She was in the nursing home. Please call. Love, Judith
Letting love to have a mother. Letting love to have letting love to have a mother letting love to have.
In plenty of time.
Rose. The first word, the first world I know.
Thank you in every possible way.
Preparing a novel and paving the way.
Catherine, Caroline, Charlotte, and Celestine.
In the place of no one not yet.
Miss miss miss miss miss and gossip
When they cannot stop it altogether when they cannot stop it altogether.
Come and kiss me when you want to because if you do you have more than done that which is a satisfaction to have been most awfully obliged to have as a delight and more than that.