“Don’t,” she interrupted, putting her hand on mine to make me look at her. “You’ve spoken your mind, and I quite prefer it that way.” But when I finally did look at her, her brow softened with concern. “You’re troubled.”
“No.” I removed my hand from hers so I could rebind the linen around her wrist. It wouldn’t do for her to see exactly how troubled I was. I was supposed to be protecting her, or returning her to her father. Either way, I couldn’t seem vulnerable. Only, I knew she was watching me, waiting for more of a response. So I added, “It’s just the storm.”
“What storm?”
“The one that’ll be here in a few hours.” Finished with the bandage and reluctant to discuss it more, I asked, “How are you feeling?”
“Well,” she answered, and pressed a grateful kiss to my cheek. “Thank you.”
“Albus,” I prompted, and when he picked up his tired head to look at me, I reached across Ava to rub some antiseptic into the wound on his muzzle. He started pulling back halfway through, so when I finished I gave his snout a teasing nudge. “Go back to sleep, you lump.” He dropped his head inelegantly.
“May I?” Ava asked, holding out a cupped hand.
I wasn’t sure exactly why she wanted some of the antiseptic, but I tipped the decanter over her palm and spilled a few drops into it. Before doing anything with it, she reached up with her other hand, setting the backs of her fingers against my chin to angle it away, exposing that small cut on my neck. She dipped her fingertip into the liquid I’d given, raising it to paint a careful stroke over the knick.
Though my chin was turned up, I could glance sideways just enough to see her out of the corner of one eye. It was hardly a wound that needed looking after, but she was being so careful about it. Every touch was bare, like she was afraid of hurting me, and she was diligent about making sure every drop of the fluid was fully absorbed, as though she wasn’t sure she trusted the antiseptic’s efficiency. She seemed mesmerized by the task, and in turn I was mesmerized by her intense focus. So entranced by her tenderness that I’d completely forgotten about the storm, and I’d begun to relax. But all too soon she’d rubbed it all in, and her finger left my neck in a long, slow graze.
“Better?” she asked, a concerned crease between her eyebrows.
It hadn’t hurt in the first place—I’d nearly forgotten it was there—but I nodded gratefully. “Aye. Thank you, Little Will-o’.”
“Pleasure,” she said with a smile, making sure to meet my eyes with her own.
And she didn’t look away. She held my gaze, and though she no longer had her hands on me, I was still so entranced that I couldn’t break my stare. She had the most gorgeous sapphire eyes I’d ever see a thousand lifetimes over. They were big and round, and their deep blue glimmered like a sea of gems. And they were gentle like her touch, so full of thought and emotion and wit, appearing altogether incapable of any semblance of a glare. It felt like an entire minute before my eyes wandered to her mouth. To her full, soft lips, and I found myself wondering what I could do to earn another kiss on the cheek. Or maybe I could…
A gust of wind slammed into the shutters, creating a bang so loud that I nearly fell off the side of the bed. It immediately reminded me of the storm, and at the same time I realized what I’d been about to consider while looking at Ava, and I felt my shoulders and back go rigid. I stood, stiffly making my way back to the saddle so I could return the decanter to the bag.
“I should make sure Brande is settled before the storm rolls in,” I said, and though Ava had opened her mouth to say something, I grabbed my coat and left before she could.
Don’t let her bribe you with kisses, I reminded myself as I paced out into the gusting wind, crossing the empty distance to the stables. Three days and I was already vulnerable to bribery—and for two of those she hadn’t even been human! Was Ava doing it on purpose? She teased, and smirked, and made me blush for sport, but to what end? If she didn’t trust me, she could’ve snuck away in the night, any night, but she’d stayed, knowing my errand. If it was protection she wanted, if that’s why she stayed… I’d promised to hear her out long before I’d even met her. She needn’t make a game of earning my affection.
“Hey, old boy,” I greeted my horse, and when he extended his head over the gate, I pressed my forehead to his. “You’re awfully calm about this storm coming,” I told him, patting the side of his jaw. “How about you teach me the trick?” I strode back to the entrance of the stables to grab the stiff brush, and then carried it to Brande. “I think I might be in trouble with this girl,” I told him as I hopped over the gate and began to run the brush down the length of him. “Charming, isn’t she?” In his usual way, Brande huffed his end of conversation. “She’s almost perfect.”
With the next huff, Brande whipped his tail, cutting it against the edges of my ear.
“Oy! Alright, I said almost.” I flicked him in the flank for slapping me. “It’s her only flaw, isn’t it? That she’s royal. Her father’s the reason we haven’t got a copper for food.” I strode around to the other side of Brande. “And why there ain’t food even if we had a copper. And why Hodge’s boy got conscripted and killed. And why Mother’s scared next time the soldiers come around they’ll think Nilson is old enough for a war job. And why old man Nickles got thrown in the prison at Guelder on suspicion of being Ronan.” I stopped brushing and dropped my arm to my side thoughtfully. “Ava’s half Ronan, isn’t she?” I asked, and then added, “lot of peace her parents’ marriage brokered. Bloody useless.”
Outside, I could hear that the wind was picking up speed, and so, as much of a relief as it was being able to vent to Brande, I was too afraid to stay out here much longer. “I’m going back in, old boy.”
Before I left, I made sure he had enough food and water to last him a while, and I nodded to the stablehand on my way out. I hurried back into the inn and to the room. When I pushed open the door, Ava was sitting at the small table at the far end near the window, and had just given Albus something to eat—probably a bit of bread from the half loaf on the table. It startled her when I walked in, and her eyes widened guiltily as though she wasn’t sure if she could feed him bread. I tried to hold back a smile at the display, though a small one cracked my lips.
“You shouldn’t leave the room without my knowing it, Ava,” I told her, knowing she’d had to leave to get the meat and cup on the table, and after I closed the door behind me and shed my coat, I went to sit across from her.
“Got to keep an eye on me?” she asked with a smirk. Though I was safely indoors, I couldn’t ignore the way the shutters were shaking in their frame only feet away. Had I not been so tense at their shivering, Ava’s smile might have been enough to make my cheeks tint. “What if I ran?” she asked before I could come up with a response. “What would you do?”
I didn’t want Ava asking about the storm, so in an attempt to hide my discomfort, I teased, “Your father gave me permission to tie you up and throw you over Brande’s back.”
“Would you?” she giggled.
I considered it for a long moment, noting her joy at that being one of the boldest things I’d said to her. I’d have to watch myself. I couldn’t guard so well against her charm and my tension. “I don’t suppose I would,” I answered, and she cropped her eyebrows with interest. “I’d follow you, make sure you were safe.” I’d try to convince her to come back to Guelder with me too, though I didn’t say so.
“For the king’s content,” she asked, but her playfulness was gone, “or yours?”
I considered that too, even more carefully than her previous question. That sounded like a test. Like she was judging my motive or my resolve to doing the right thing. I’d sworn two oaths. She knew it, and she was trying to figure out which I’d choose. “Your father’s content is my freedom, Ava,” I told her, “and my freedom is my content.” However, I knew what she was really asking me. Did I care about her more than the king? Did I trust her enough to chance it? “But I’ve always thought a clear conscience is a freedom none can take.”