“What you did,” she repeated. “Paige Nightingale Lockwood, did you sleep with him?” Quinn’s voice rose an octave as her jaw dropped open again.
I shut my eyes for a moment and willed the burning feeling that swirled in my stomach to subside. Nodding was the only answer I could give her.
“Well, I’m proud of you. I sort of love that Colin isn’t the last guy you’ve been with.”
“Me too,” I said with a weak smile.
“But I am sorry that Tatum treated you that way,” she added, the pain in her eyes reflecting my own. “That had to be really hurtful.”
“It was. Even though I know he didn’t mean it, doesn’t mean I have to accept it or put up with it. I’m mad at him. I deserve better than that.”
I let the anger fill me; it was easier to deal with than the pain of his loss. The sadness made me feel less alive, but the anger burned with a fire that reminded me how alive I still was.
Quinn stared at me in silence, and I wondered what exactly she was thinking before she spoke up. “You’re right. You do. You absolutely do.” She reached across the couch and squeezed my hand before letting it go. “So, no more red?”
“No more red. At least, not right now.”
“That sucks. I liked the whole color thing.”
I giggled. “We can still use it for you. Quinn, what color has Ryson made you feel today?”
“I haven’t seen him since this morning, so…green,” she said, drawing out the word.
“And with that answer, we’re done playing this game.” I rolled my eyes and looked away from my best friend’s grinning face.
“All right then, let’s talk about the press. Instead of you wading through that shit online, why don’t you ask me any questions you have? I’ll fill you in on what’s been said about you in your absence.”
I sucked in a quick breath. That I could handle. “That sounds good. Okay.”
“Whenever you’re ready,” she said, then took a long gulp of her water. “But are you really over Tatum? I mean, just like that?”
I huffed out a small laugh. “God, no. But I can’t focus on him right now. I’ve got to do damage control on my life and my career. Help me do that first. Please?”
“I get it,” Quinn said before she filled me in on the fact that the rehab rumors had only recently started to take life. The length of time I’d been out of the public eye just happened to correspond with a normal rehab stint by someone who was serious about kicking an addiction or getting mentally healthy. There really wasn’t much that I didn’t already know, except that Colin kept aligning his name with mine.
“He says you’re fine,” Quinn said, her lips curling as if she’d tasted something bad. “He speaks on your behalf any chance he gets, and tells the world that he’s in constant contact with you.”
“What did I ever see in him?” I narrowed my eyes and groaned at the idea of him being so conniving and gross.
“You never saw this side of him. We’ve been through this already. But, Paige, you need to put Colin and everyone else in their place. You need to stand up for yourself and address where you’ve been.”
“But they’ll want to know where exactly I was.” I pushed the memories of the field party, the swimming hole, and our last night together from my mind. “And I can’t do that to that town. They were so great to me, keeping my secret for as long as they did. I can’t have the press overrun the place and ruin it. It would take them all of two seconds to find out about Tatum and his mother, and harass them both half to death.”
Quinn tapped a finger against her lips. “You’re right. Maybe you can just allude to where you were. Just say you were in a town they’ve never heard of. Something. You have to do something.”
“I’ll see what Corryn and Jayson think I should do,” I said, so used to depending on them for every little detail of my professional life.
“Oh, screw both of them! They don’t care about you. And if you don’t know that by now, then maybe you should check into an institution.”
I pushed back into the couch, wishing that it would swallow me whole as the weight of her words hit me like a baseball bat to the chest.
“Did you learn nothing by being away?” Quinn insisted, then raised her voice. “Seriously?”
I flinched. “Don’t yell at me.” If Quinn didn’t back off a little, I was afraid I’d have another meltdown of a different kind. I was doing extremely well in my attempts to hold it together, but her pushing me so hard wasn’t helping.
“I’m sorry, but come on. You were a changed person while you were gone. You were stronger and free and brave. I need you to be that person here. You need you to be fearless here too, Paige, or you’ll never survive this.”
Quinn was right. I had finally developed a backbone while I was away, and I couldn’t pretend that strength wasn’t still somewhere inside me, even though it felt buried since returning home. I wasn’t only a different person because I had been out of Los Angeles; I had dug deep and found the courage that existed within me. It had apparently been dormant all my life because I’d never needed it before. And I definitely needed it now.
“I hate when you’re right,” I said with a sigh.
Holding back a smile, she said, “You must hate me a lot then.”
“You know what sucks the most?”
“What?”
“It’s that I felt the difference while I was gone. Lighter, you know? Less burdened. But the second I got back here I could literally sense that feeling leaving my body. The heaviness returned with every breath I took and settled on my shoulders, pressing me down. It was the most depressing feeling,” I said with a shudder.
“Shit, Paige, I’m sorry. I know I’m too hard on you sometimes, it’s just that I hate the people you have working for you. They aren’t on your side at all.” She set her water glass on the coffee table, then spun back to face me. “Tell you what. Call them right now. See what they say. Give them a chance to prove me wrong.”
Quinn’s agency had a built-in publicity department, so she didn’t have to hire someone separately. It was times like this that I wished I had a well-oiled machine working for me too.
I reached for my phone and dialed Corryn’s number first. She was my publicist, after all, and this was her department.
When the call connected, Corryn’s voice rang out. “Paige! Finally!”
“Hi, Corryn. I just wanted to check in and find out how you think I should handle this mess.” I eyed Quinn, who leaned her head toward mine as she tried to hear Corryn’s response.
“Now that you’re back in town, the rumor mill will most likely die down. I mean, at some point it will. It will probably get worse before it gets better. But you should use this to your advantage. Strike while the iron’s hot, and people will talk about you in ways they never have before. You know what we always say, bad publicity is still publicity.”
I hated when she said that; it didn’t make any sense. What the hell was she even talking about?
I growled with frustration, feeling myself coming unglued. “Don’t say that! I hate when you and Jayson say that about bad publicity. This is my life, my career. I’ve worked hard to not have any bad publicity—ever—and I’m not going to start now. Figure out how I can fix this, Corryn. That’s what I pay you for!” I pressed the End button and slammed down my phone, releasing a quick huff of indignation.
“My hero.” Quinn raised her hand in the air for a high five.
“Holy cow, that was terrifying and exhilarating,” I admitted with a small smile. “I’m not sure she deserved that.”
“Oh, she deserved that, all right. It’s been a long time coming.”
“Now what?” I asked my best friend, hoping her advice would be worth taking.
Quinn leaned against the cushions and stared at me for a moment before speaking, obviously collecting her thoughts. “I think that there’s a time to stay quiet and a time to stand up for yourself. For example, when Colin cheated and the press went crazy, you stayed quiet. Which was fine because it wasn’t your issue to address publicly. You didn’t do anything wrong, and there really was nothing you needed to say. You know what I mean?” She looked at me as I nodded along with her assessment.