I wanted peace in my escape. And that meant no credit cards. My cards could be tracked, and they’d come get me and take me home before I even got away. I would pay in cash and use a fake name. And hopefully no one along the way would rat me out to the highest bidder. Knowing damn well I couldn’t leave town without letting someone know, I dialed Quinn again from my cell.
“So I was just calling to let you know that I’m all right, okay?”
“Okay,” Quinn said warily, her tone slow and questioning.
“I’m going to get out of here for a while. I need to clear my head and think about what I want for once, and I can’t do that while I’m surrounded by everyone who’s trying to think for me.” As I explained, all my thoughts made perfect sense as they spilled from my mouth.
“Where are you going?”
“I have no idea and I don’t care. I need to get away before I completely break down and you all have to check me into a mental institution.”
“Do you really think this is a good idea? It’s not safe for you to travel alone. And I don’t mean because you’re a celebrity, but because you’re a girl,” she cautioned.
I clenched my teeth as I tried to ignore the practicality that Quinn was feeding me. I didn’t want to hear any of that right now. I didn’t want to think about anything that might stop me. For once in my life, I didn’t want to plan every moment; I simply wanted to feel my way through it.
“I have pepper spray.”
“Good. Don’t be afraid to use it.”
“I won’t,” I said, almost convincing myself.
“Do you want me to come with you?”
Waffling for a moment, I almost said yes. “No. This is something I need to do on my own.”
“Are you flying?”
I laughed. “No way. They’ll track my flight, show up there, and ruin my life.”
“Dramatic much?” Quinn laughed. “But you’re right. They will.” She sucked in a breath. “Hey, do me a favor, though, before you go, okay? Just send everyone a quick e-mail letting them know you’re out of town. If you don’t give them some sort of heads-up, they’ll put a freaking APB out on you. They’ll have every town in America searching for you, Paige. You have to at least try to keep the peace, or they’ll make it so you can’t go anywhere without the world knowing.”
My free hand balled into a fist as my nails dug into my palm. “You’re right. Okay. I’ll send an e-mail. And I’ll call you when I get to wherever I’m going.”
“Don’t forget that they can track your cell too. I don’t want you to fall off the grid completely, Paige, but if this is something you really need to do, then I support you.”
“Thank you, Quinn. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Just be safe, please. You’re too damn naive and trusting. Try to be more like me on this trip, okay?”
I could hear the smile in her voice as she gave me advice, knowing full well I could never be as tough as she was. I hung up without even saying good-bye, then opened up an app on my phone and composed an e-mail to my manager, publicist, and agent, making sure I’d copied my family and Quinn.
I’m sending you this e-mail to let you know that I’m all right. I need to get out of town for a little while, so I’ve left. I’m not sure how long I’ll be gone, but please don’t come look for me. Please let me have this time to sort out my thoughts and find my footing. I need to be away from this town, this environment, and everyone in it until I can get my head right. Please understand.
I paused, feeling the desperation in my words, and knew I needed to end this e-mail with strength. Remembering that my agent, manager, and publicist worked for me—and not the other way around—I packed my closing punch.
If you come looking for me, you’ll only make this worse and I’ll stay away longer. Let me contact you when I’m ready, and not the other way around.
Before I could second-guess myself or change my mind, I clicked Send. Nerves fluttered down my spine, but I pretended not to acknowledge them, not wanting to give them any power over me or my actions. Grabbing my packed bag and wad of cash, I headed out the door as quickly as I came in it. If I wasted any more time, they’d show up here and stop me before I could get out of the area code.
After jumping into my car, I drove onto the nearest freeway on-ramp I could find. I knew that this particular road would take me all the way to Florida if I let it. And at that point, I didn’t care. Anywhere would be better than here.
Is It Hot Out Here?
Paige
I’d spent the last few days driving through multiple states, only stopping for gas, food, the bathroom, or sleep. My sporty black BMW did little to help me keep a low profile, so I made sure to tuck my hair up into a baseball hat and wear sunglasses constantly.
So far I’d been able to avoid prying eyes, and no one I’d come across even spared me a second glance. Most people would never think to look for me in their town, not to mention the fact that the majority of people I’d run into probably couldn’t care less about who I was. Consumed with only my own thoughts for company, I felt freer than I had in a long time, as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
My thoughts drifted as I drove aimlessly down a near desolate highway, the sun sinking into the horizon somewhere in my rearview mirror. I had no idea if I was still in Texas or if I’d crossed over into Louisiana at some point, since the landscape was virtually unchanged. Lush green trees and tall grasses filled my view in every direction. Houses were few and far between, separated by acres of farmland.
I enjoyed taking in the scenery around me until his voice came over the radio and filled the empty space inside my car. Slamming the power button off on the stereo, I opted for the blissful sound of silence instead. I’d grown tired of listening to the same songs over and over again. Tired of hearing Colin’s latest hit mock me from my own speakers.
Colin.
My heart ached in the rare moments I allowed myself to think of him and remember that we had shared some good times together. It wasn’t all bad. Actually, it was rarely bad. The majority of our relationship had been happy and filled with understanding. At least, that was what I’d always thought it was.
No.
Colin made a fool out of me and continued to do so to better his public image, and I was determined to hate him for that. Or at least try.
But this wasn’t even about him. Not entirely. Leaving Los Angeles was about so much more than just the public spectacle Colin created when the photos of his cheating hit every media outlet. And even though the public had taken my side, I still felt like a stupid girl. Like I should have known he was a complete cheating scumbag who lacked the ability to keep it in his pants.
But I didn’t. Because I was too trusting. And so in a single moment, ten months of dating was flushed down the toilet and swept out to sea. Being this trusting made it hard for someone like me to stay in control of my own boat in the waters of Hollywood. Somewhere in all this fame and celebrity, I’d completely lost control of my life. I was no longer the captain of my own destiny.
My thoughts drifted to the hotel last night and my mistake at turning on the tiny television. Colin’s face appeared on a sit-down interview on an entertainment show.
“Paige knows this is all a big misunderstanding,” he’d claimed, and my stomach churned.
“The pictures and video look pretty damning, Colin,” the interviewer had said.
Colin nodded. “They do. But you know everything can be faked these days. You know it and Paige knows it.”
“So you’ve talked to her then?”
“Of course I’ve talked to her, Sandy. She’s my girlfriend.”
“Oh. I’m sorry, it’s just that we were under the impression that Paige wasn’t speaking to you, and that you two were definitely over. At least, that’s what we’d heard from one of our sources.”