“She clung to me. There was nothing I could do for her except hold her and be with her at the end. She kept saying, over and over again, ‘Tell Mama not to be mad at me. Tell her I’m sorry that I’m late.’ Afterward I cared for her body quickly. The rain was heavier, and I didn’t want to lose their tracks.”
“You followed them?” Cuchulainn asked.
She nodded. “Yes, I followed my brother and his friends back to our home. In my heart I’d known it had been his tracks from the moment I’d found them. But I didn’t want to believe…I didn’t want to think that…” Her body shuddered and she spoke between gritted teeth. “I tracked him home and I watched them laugh and make merry, as if nothing had happened. When I dragged him before my mother and confronted him with what he had done he said that the silly human girl should have controlled her animals better. That’s what he said, Cu. In front of my mother, the High Shaman of our herd-the centaur who should have been exemplifying honor and integrity.”
“She did nothing?” Cuchulainn’s voice was rough with emotion.
“She said nothing. She did much more than that. From that day on her attitude and actions toward my brother changed. She no longer ignored him-she went to the other end of the extreme. My mother petted and spoiled him outrageously. His friends were awarded her favors, too.” Brighid’s lip curled in disgust, making it clear what kind of favors her mother granted her brother’s young friends.
“I went back the next day to get the girl’s body. I was going to try to find her parents…take her back to the mother she’d died crying out for…but all I found was a burned shell. My mother wouldn’t speak of it, but I knew she’d had it done. It wasn’t long afterward that I left the Dhianna Herd. Since then I have wandered the Plains, staying as far away from my herd as possible. When I heard Elphame wanted volunteers to rebuild MacCallan Castle I turned to the north and let the call carry me to her.”
“Goddess…” Cuchulainn choked out the word.
Brighid wiped a shaky hand over her face. “I should have told you before. I should have told someone before…I just didn’t…” She looked wildly at his face as if she could find redemption there. “All I could think to do was to get away from that life. To change my future and to try not to look back. But I understand. Now that you know you might…might not be able to stay with me…might not want to care about me and-”
“Stop!” Cuchulainn’s voice was sharp as he grabbed her arm. “I’m not going to leave you. What they did was not your fault. What they are today is not your fault. By the Goddess, do you think I’d let you go back into that alone?”
“I don’t know what I think. I’ve never told anyone. Didn’t think I ever could. And now I’ve told you. My husband. My husband who is a man.” Her breath hitched on a sob. “What dream were we living when we thought we could be together? How can this possibly work?”
In an instant Cuchulainn had swiveled to his knees and was facing her. He reached out and pulled her into his arms. She stiffened, feeling the oddness of his torso against hers-the unfamiliar sensation of the muscular width of him that was just man and not melded with the equine body of a centaur male. He ignored her stiffness and didn’t relinquish his hold on her. When he spoke he turned his head so that his voice was a warm breath against her ear.
“It will work because we are bonded, the two of us. Because somehow, miraculously, Epona fashioned your soul to match mine. We are not defined by our bodies alone, Brighid. You and I know that only too well.”
“It seems impossible,” she said.
“No. It’s not impossible-it’s just difficult.”
She pulled back, and this time he loosened his hold on her so that she could look into his eyes. “How can you be so sure? I’m from a different world. We’re different species. We can’t even consummate our mating tonight.”
“My father is a centaur, Brighid. Don’t forget that I have his blood running thick in my veins. We’re more alike than we are different.”
“But your body is human.”
“That it is.” He sighed and rested back on his heels, letting his hands slide down her arms. “Does that repulse you?”
Brighid frowned at him, hearing the echo of his sister’s words in his voice. “Of course not! How could you even ask me that? I wouldn’t have handfasted with you if you repulsed me.”
“There are many different reasons to handfast. Physical attraction is not always one of them,” he said. “You mated with me. That does not automatically mean that you’re attracted to me.”
Her frown deepened. “I’m attracted to you. You’re not like most men.”
His brows shot up. “I can assure you that I am very much like most men.”
Brighid felt her cheeks heating. “I didn’t mean that you’re not…uh…not…”
“Yes…” He drew the word out. “Go on. I’m not what?”
Her frown turned into a scowl. He certainly wasn’t making this any easier for her. “Most men seem too small.”
His brows disappeared completely into his hairline. She shook her head, trying to figure out how to explain it to him without sounding patronizing or offensive.
“Remember the first day we met? You were with El and Brenna in the Main Courtyard of MacCallan Castle. You’d just uncovered the fountain.”
“I remember,” he said. “You said you were of the Dhianna Herd and I may have reacted badly to that.”
“May have?” She snorted. “You wanted El to kick me out. You were defensive and overprotective of your sister.” Before he could protest, she hurried on. “And I thought you were intriguing. You weren’t some small, weak man. You were a warrior, and everything you said and did was filled with such confidence and power that I never thought of you as just a man. From the first I’ve thought of you as a warrior, without the label of ‘centaur’ or ‘man.’”
“So you didn’t hate me on sight?”
“No. I just disliked you.” His amused expression made her smile. “But part of me agreed with you. Had I been another member of my herd, you would have been wise not to trust me.”
“I learned to trust you,” he said.
“And I you.”
“Don’t you see that that’s it, Brighid? Our relationship is based on trust and respect, which grew into friendship.” Slowly he took one of his hands from hers and lightly, just using the tips of his fingers, retraced the path up her arm to the roundness of her shoulder. He felt her skin prickle under his fingers and he heard the sharp intake of her breath. “And then that friendship changed. I’m not even certain when.” In a long, slow caress, he drew his hand across her shoulder until he found the softness at the base of her throat. There he let his thumb trace a light, sensuous pattern along her delicate collarbone. “I remember how the part of my soul that came into your dreams teased and kidded with you. You thought I was playing…only pretending desire for you…” His thumb moved to the hollow of her neck and he felt her pulse beating fast and hard against the smoothness of her skin. “It was no pretense. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. And I don’t care what form your body takes. I will always desire you.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
All Brighid could do was stare at him. She was trapped by his slow, intimate caress. For all the strength of her body, this one gentle touch had completely unnerved her.
“May I ask you something?” he said, stroking his thumb up and down the sensitive skin of her neck.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“After we kissed in your room when you breathed my soul back into my body, did you ever think of touching me? Of me touching you?”
“Yes.”
“What did you think?”
She wet her lips with her tongue and saw his eyes go hungrily to her mouth. “I thought about your hands on my body, and I wondered what it would be like to touch you in return.”