“Well, I wanted to learn more about vampires.”
No, actually she wanted to bust his balls and distract herself, but hey, whatever.
He shook his head. “This is not the way to go about it.”
“Well, since the Masonic, ‘To be one, ask one,’ approach has gotten me absolute shit from you guys, the next best thing is research.”
“You know all of this is just fiction. It’s not real.” He swept his hand, indicating the large pile of books and DVDs. “This has no truth to it whatsoever. We explained that.”
Of course she knew, but she did it to torque Matthias and the other men as much as she did because she needed a distraction. “I can’t rely on Wikipedia to get it right, can I?”
He sat, carefully picking his words. “I’m sorry it’s been crazy. This, however, is not the way to go about it.”
“Considering you haven’t made much time to answer my questions, and every time I ask Robertson something he says, ‘I don’t know,’ I had to do something. I’m going out of my friggin’ gourd and I need something to distract me. Besides”—she pointed to the screen—“it’s my favorite TV show.”
He closed his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose. “All right, Taz. What do you want to know?”
Point made, she had his attention. She closed her book. “I’ll get back to you on that.”
Matthias fought the urge to scream in frustration. He had to be truly in love with her, because no woman since Sarah had ever driven him to such distraction. He knew she was still on edge and unsettled. It was a little over a week since Rafael’s death, barely two weeks since the revelation of her true nature. Plus her powers were awakening at a…dare he say scary pace? She was more powerful than any vampire he’d ever met. Way more powerful than himself, which said quite a lot.
“All right. Just know that whenever you want to talk, I’m here.”
She raised her eyebrow at him. “Yeah. Riiiight. Seems like every time I’ve wanted to talk hasn’t been the right time.”
“I’m here right now, ready to talk.”
At first she defiantly met his gaze. Then her green eyes brimmed with tears and she collapsed against him.
He held her, stroking her back, his face buried in her hair. In many ways she was an indestructible force of nature. In others, she was as fragile as a child.
“Don’t force it, Taz,” he whispered. “Don’t try to pigeonhole everything into neat explanations. Don’t set a timetable for yourself to have this under control. I wanted to take years to ease you through this transition for damn good reason.”
“I hate this. I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling out of control. I hate it.”
“I know.”
“I love you, Matthias,” she whispered.
He kissed the top of her head and tightly hugged her. “I know, darling. I know you do.”
“I’m sorry that—”
“Shh. The past doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except that I love you and I will do whatever I can to make this up to you.”
She sat up and looked at him. He had to fight not to lose himself in her beautiful green eyes. She wasn’t trying to control him, but he loved her so much he couldn’t help himself around her.
“Matthias, you don’t owe me anything.”
“Yes, I do. And no, you don’t have me under a spell, cara. I have seen more than you can ever imagine, been through more. We don’t need to get into this all right now, you have enough to deal with. Over time, you will come to understand why I can feel the way I feel right now.” He caressed her cheek. “You’re right that we’re not ‘normal.’ With that comes the understanding only gained through centuries of living, centuries of dealing with love and loss and human nature. I’ve learned in my time what matters and what does not. And you matter to me.”
She closed her eyes and took his hand, nuzzling his palm. “Thank you,” she whispered.
Saturday morning, Taz walked into the kitchen and heard the three men deep in discussion. Upon her entrance they fell silent, looking at her.
“Yeah, that was real subtle, boys.” She walked to the cabinet and found her coffee mug. “What’s going on?”
Matthias hesitated. She turned to him, seeing in his mind what they were discussing.
“I want to go.”
“Taz, I don’t think—”
“Matthias.” Her voice bore a hard, firm edge. “I will go with you. I–I need to do this. It’s the least I can do.”
Matthias looked at her for a long time and finally nodded. “Okay. If you’re sure you’re up to it?”
She poured her coffee. “I wouldn’t say I’m up to it,” she said, her thumb idly stroking Rafael’s ring. “I’ve got to do it. For him. I owe him that much.”
They packed overnight bags and left in the Hummer an hour later with Matthias driving. He let her think they took the Hummer because it held more than his car, but she didn’t know the vehicle was armored. He didn’t think she would be attacked again this soon, not with Caroline safely in custody on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, but he wouldn’t take unnecessary chances.
Taz didn’t know he had a security team follow her to and from work each day, ensuring her safety. He didn’t want her to know because it would piss her off. He’d been surprised to find out she took a really long route via I-75 instead of the Veterans Expressway, but that was her choice and he wouldn’t question it.
“What did Rafe do for a living?” she asked.
Matthias kept his eyes on the road. “He had his own business, but it was a division of Hawthorne International. We set it up like that in case…” He didn’t finish.
“In case of this?”
Matthias nodded. “Had it been me, he would have taken over my role, with Tim and Albert’s help, of course.”
She shivered. If she hadn’t fed Matthias after the Other attacked him at her house, it would be Rafe in charge now, and maybe—
“No. Don’t think that,” the phantom voice whispered. “That’s not healthy.”
She closed her eyes and strengthened her mental barrier, hoping Matthias hadn’t heard the voice. “You didn’t answer my question,” she said.
“Sorry. Software firm. Working in conjunction with our seismology detection equipment division. Rafe knew a lot about the programming end, but he had assembled quite a team. Yet another reason we spent a lot of time in Yellowstone.”
“Who will run it now?”
“I’ll appoint a new manager to take care of daily operations. For the most part, it can continue as it is.”
“Have they been told yet?”
“Albert’s coordinating with management.”
She fell quiet for a moment. “I want to run his company.”
“Taz, you’ve got quite enough on your plate now, don’t you think?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
He gripped the wheel and tried to weigh his words. “You work for Hawthorne International. You have a legitimate job. We don’t make busy work for you. You are an integral part of my executive team, and I cannot simply hand your duties off to someone else.”
“Robertson can help.”
“Not really, because now that the cat’s out of the bag Tim’s already working on several projects with Albert. Their attention is focused elsewhere.”
“Then make it happen, Matthias. You own the friggin’ company. You can do what you want. I want this.”
“I think you want this for the wrong reason, cara. Can we sit down and discuss it when we get home?”
She felt rage taking her over again despite her best efforts. “You know, I’m tired of you blowing me off.”