Matthias’ eyes narrowed. “Hear what?”
She looked around and shook her head. “I’m just jumpy.” She forced a smile. “I’m going to say something you won’t hear me say very often, big guy.”
“What’s that?”
She reached across the table and touched his hand. “You all warned me a couple of weeks ago, before we came out here, that I wouldn’t feel like myself.”
He nodded.
She took a deep breath. “You. Were. Right.”
He laughed and squeezed her hand. “Cara, thank you, love.”
“No, ‘See, I told you so?’”
He crooked his finger, and her heart melted as she leaned across the table. He kissed her. “It doesn’t matter as long as I have you to love. My reason for living is to make you happy. You’re the first thing I’ve had to live for in a long, long time.”
The jumpy, edgy feeling didn’t abate. In fact, it worsened the closer they drove toward Fishing Bridge. Thank goodness Matthias was behind the wheel. Taz had a feeling if it was her, she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from turning around.
He let her out at the gift shop complex and she forced herself to sit on a bench in front on the porch and not chase after him.
“No! NO NO NONONONO!”
What the hell was wrong with her? The constant, worrying drumming in her brain would drive her nuts if it didn’t stop soon. It was like the phantom voice had gone as psycho as she’d felt a few weeks ago. It was an oil change, and yet she felt like someone was going to get murdered.
Matthias walked up five minutes later, looking concerned.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. “You don’t look good.”
“I don’t feel good.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to call the jet? We can be in Gardiner in a little over an hour.”
“No, I’ll be fine. I’m just—”
losing my mind
“—jumpy, that’s all. Going through one of those weird phases.”
He offered his hand, and she took it, squeezing hard and enjoying when he squeezed back. They strolled through the gift shop and ate ice cream. It almost felt like being a normal couple.
Normal.
Whatever the hell that was.
When they picked up the Mustang an hour later, something akin to relief washed over her. She found herself bending down to look at the ground underneath the car.
Matthias watched her with an amused expression. “What are you doing?”
She looked at him as she straightened. “I don’t know.” That’s what worried her—she didn’t.
“That’s not a comfort, love.” He held the passenger door open for her.
Without any ability to stop it, the words tumbled from her mouth. “Did they use synthetic oil?”
What the fuck? Great, let’s hope I don’t start swearing uncontrollably.
Matthias raised an eyebrow, but nodded. “Yes. I had them use the brand Rafe always used. Why?”
Yet another uncontrollable verbal tic. “Did they put on a new drain plug washer?” She clapped a hand to her mouth. What the fuck?
Matthias froze. “What?”
Taz swallowed hard and forced the words out, this time through her fingers still over her mouth. “A drain plug washer?”
The half smile curled his lips. “Yes, I made sure they did. Rafe was always adamant about that. It’s the least I could do for him.”
The mental drumming finally dissipated, and she relaxed during the drive into Cody.
The mysterious voice didn’t return. Neither did the uncontrollable verbal tics. Alone with Matthias, they took their time retracing her route from Cody, back through the Bighorn Mountains to I-90.
“I must admit I’m impressed,” he said.
“Why?” She fought the urge to tell him to go faster. Matthias held it at a comfortable seventy-five on the interstate. She preferred eighty, at least. The powerful pony was more than capable of it.
“How quickly you made it out here.” Their fingers were laced together, and he brought her hand to his lips, kissing it. “I’m not angry. Just please don’t ever run off like that again. If you need time alone, I will always give it to you.”
“Being followed by guards isn’t time alone, Matthias.”
He glanced at her before returning his eyes to the road. “Taz, we had no idea where you were, where you were going. I’m not saying I would have had people tailing you—”
“Bullshit.”
He looked at her again and spotted her knowing smile.
“Okay, so I would have had you followed. Tim had people watching over you from the time you entered Yellowstone and you weren’t aware of it.” Now wasn’t the time to mention the daily security detail back home.
“What?”
He nodded. “He told you we have operatives all over the park. Once he figured out where you were going, he was prepared.”
She looked out the passenger window. “I don’t need a babysitter.”
“We know. We don’t want to make you feel like that, either.” He squeezed her hand. “I love you, and I’m damn sure not letting anyone take you away from me now that we’re together. If you need time alone, ask for it. I’ll readily give it, as much as you want.”
“I want to go away for a month, alone.”
“Done.”
She turned back to him, studying his face. “I was kidding.”
“I wasn’t.”
She frowned. “You mean you’d let me up and leave, alone, for a whole month, no questions asked?”
“I’m not saying I wouldn’t miss you. And yes, I would take precautions for your safety. If what makes you happy would be to leave for a month, then I will give it to you.” He pulled over to the shoulder. Fortunately the interstate wasn’t that busy in this desolate part of the country.
He turned to her and removed his sunglasses so she could see his eyes. “Taz, I love you. Whatever I must do to show you, to prove to you that I will do anything for you, I will do it. If you ask for time alone, I will give it. I will follow you to the ends of the earth if you ask. I will die and kill for you.”
She finally removed Rafe’s sunglasses. “Why?”
“Why what, cara?”
“Why do you love me like that?”
He touched his forehead to hers, nuzzling her with his nose. “The heart knows what it knows. And the soul always comes home.” He kissed her, and before she could get too into it and drag him into the backseat, he sat up and caressed her cheek. “Just know that I willingly love you, Taz. Not because I’m under a spell, not because I’m forced to.” He put his sunglasses on and put the car in gear and drove as she studied his profile.
The long drive gave them plenty of time to talk. “What’s the deal with Murry?” she asked.
“Why?”
“He told me to ask you.”
Matthias smiled. “Murry is interesting, to say the least.”
“How about saying more than the least?”
“He’s a familiar.”
“Which tells me bubkis. Isn’t that a witch thing or something?”
“According to popular lore, yes. Animals as spirits isn’t an idea limited to witches. It’s a popular theme in Native American and other cultures, too.”
“Where did he come from?”
She realized he didn’t want to answer.
“Matthias?” she gently prompted.
“Rafe gave him to me. He belonged to Cassandra.”
She closed her eyes and fought a wave of dizzying grief, felt it pass. “Why didn’t he keep him?” she whispered.
“Murry was too painful a reminder.”
Now, it seemed, he was again.