I would give him part of it, as much as I could. But there were still things I couldn't tell him. "I assume you are talking about Lab Rat?"
Batman nodded. "You would never have tolerated this from someone else when you were in command of Jefferson. You know you wouldn't."
I nodded in agreement. "No, I wouldn't have. And I probably would have spoken to a senior admiral in exactly the same tones that you're using with me. Nor would I have been any more understanding than you're going to be when I tell you that there are some things I simply cannot discuss with you. So, for what it's worth, I'm sorry the plan had to be executed in this manner. You should have been in the loop ― if it had been my choice, you would have been."
Batman got very still. His face reflected a whole range of emotions, running from anger through suspicion and down to pity. "So that's the end of it. You're not going to tell me the rest of it." He appeared to consider that, then shook his head. "I don't buy it."
"I don't care what you buy, Admiral. That's the way it will have to be." I hated speaking to him that way, I found cold solace in the justification that not disclosing the rest of what had happened in Russia and Ukraine might keep the elite network of MIA informants in place.
Perhaps that would eventually ease the pain for other families, as it had eased it for me. There were facts that couldn't be disclosed, contacts that were put at risk if even their existence was admitted. If that were the price ― an angry friend who believed I no longer trusted him ― then it was one I would have to pay.
I stood up from the couch, now at least at peace in my own mind with what I had to do. "I am sorry. Sorrier than you'll ever know. And, for what it's worth, I wish it could have been otherwise." I turned and walked toward the hatch.
"Tombstone?" Batman called after me. There was an almost pleading quality to his voice as he said my name. "This isn't the end, is it?"
I turned back to him and considered him for a moment. "Of course not.
For some things, perhaps. But not for anything that needs to still be alive. Those things that are ended are those that need to be ended."
"It's about your father, isn't it?"
I kept silent. As was often the case, Batman had made one of those intuitive leaps that marked his brilliant way of conducting his affairs.
"Well, then." Compassion, sympathy, and something much, much deeper.
He was not happy, but he had found a way to live with what I'd told him must be. And for that, I was grateful.
"Where are you going?" Batman asked.
I shrugged. "Right now, I'm going up to the flight deck. Get a little taste of Tomcat fever for a few minutes. In the long run ― well, who knows. There will always be wars, and for the foreseeable future, there will always be a need for carriers. So wherever the Navy needs me, that's where I'll be."
Batman walked over to the hatch to stand next to me. He clamped one hand down on my shoulder and dug his fingers in. "Want company?"
Glossary
0–3 level The third deck above the main deck located at the waterline.
Designations for decks above the main deck (also known as the damage control deck) begin with zero (e. g., 0–3). The zero is pronounced as "oh" in conversation. Decks below the main deck do not have the initial zero, and are numbered down from the main deck (e. g., deck 11 is below deck 3; deck 0–7 is above deck 0–3).
1MC The general announcing system on a ship or submarine. Every ship has many different interior communications systems, most of them linking parts of the ship for a specific purpose. Most operate off sound-powered phones. The circuit designators consist of a number followed by two letters that indicate the specific purpose of the circuit. 2AS, for instance, might be an antisubmarine warfare circuit that connects the sonar supervisor, the USW watch officer, and the sailor at the torpedo launcher.
C-2 Greyhound Also known as the COD, Carrier Onboard Delivery. The COD carries cargo and passengers from shore to ship. It is capable of carrier landings. Sometimes assigned directly to the air wing, it also operates in coordination with CVBG from a shore squadron.
air boss A senior commander or captain assigned to the aircraft carrier, in charge of flight operations. The "Boss" is assisted by the Mini-Boss in Pri-Fly, located in the tower onboard the carrier. The air boss is always in the tower during flight operations, overseeing the launch and recovery cycles, declaring a green deck, and monitoring the safe approach of aircraft to the carrier.
air wing Composed of the aircraft squadrons assigned to the battle group.
The individual squadron commanding officers report to the air wing commander, who reports to the admiral.
airdale Slang for an officer or enlisted person in the aviation fields.
Includes pilots, NFOS, aviation intelligence officers, maintenance officers, and the enlisted technicians who support aviation. The antithesis of an airdale is a "shoe."
Akula Late-model Russian-built attack nuclear submarine (SSN). Fast, deadly, and deep diving.
ALR-67 Detects, analyzes and evaluates electromagnetic signals, emits a warning signal if the parameters are compatible with an immediate threat to the aircraft (e. g., seeker head on an antiair missile). Can also detect an enemy radar in either a search or a targeting mode.
altitude Is safety. With enough airspace under the wings, a pilot can solve any problem.
AMRAAM Advanced Medium Range Antiair Missile.
angels Thousands of feet over ground. Angels twenty is 20,000 feet.
Cherubs indicates hundreds of feet (e. g., cherubs five = five hundred feet).
ASW Antisubmarine Warfare, recently renamed Undersea Warfare. For some reason.
avionics Black boxes and systems that comprise an aircraft's combat systems.
AW Aviation antisubmarine warfare technician, the enlisted specialist flying in an S-3, P-3, or helo USW aircraft. As this book goes to press, there is discussion of renaming the specialty.
AWACS An aircraft entirely too good for the Air Force, the Advanced Warning Aviation Control System. Long-range command and control and electronic intercept bird with superb capabilities.
AWG-9 Pronounced "awg nine," the primary search- and fire-control radar on a Tomcat.
backseater also known as the GIB, the guy in back. Nonpilot aviator available in several flavors BN (bombadier/ navigator), RIO (radar intercept operator), and TACCO (Tactical Control Officer), among others. Usually wear glasses and are smart.
Bear Russian maritime patrol aircraft, the equivalent in rough terms of a U.S. P-3. Variants have primary missions in command and control, submarine hunting, and electronic intercepts. Big, slow, good targets.
bitch box One interior communications system on a ship. So named because it's normally used to bitch at another watch station.
blue on blue Fratricide. U.S. forces are normally indicated in blue on tactical displays, and this term refers to an attack on a friendly by another friendly.
blue water Navy Outside the unrefueled range of the airwing. When a carrier enters blue water ops, aircraft must get on board, (e. g., land) and cannot divert to land if the pilot gets the shakes.
boomer Slang for a ballistic missile submarine.
BOQ Bachelor Officers Quarters ― a Motel Six for single officers or those traveling without family. The Air Force also has VOQ, Visiting Officers Quarters.
buster As fast as you can (i. e., bust yer ass getting here).