I settle in the rocker, my lips against her hair. I didn’t think it would feel like this, being a father again, and I never expected to want it as much as I do.
I jerk when I hear a ding. Oh shit. I must have fallen asleep. I take my cell from my pocket.
Chrissie: I’ve been waiting on the patio for twenty minutes. Where are you?
I look at Khloe. Asleep.
Me: She woke up. Be right there.
I wait. Ding. Not a text. A picture. I struggle not to laugh aloud, not wanting to wake up the baby again. Definitely a nice shot even if Chrissie did keep covered the interesting parts of her breasts.
Me: Nope, she doesn’t need those. She’s asleep.
I stare at the photo, overwhelmed by how much I love Chrissie, my heart pounding and my pulse racing. A few lines of text. A picture that doesn’t really let me see anything and Chrissie consumes me in a way no other woman ever could.
Heart.
Body.
Soul.
I carefully rise from the chair, drop a kiss on Khloe’s brow and then set her back into the crib. I stare down at her for a moment.
This is what I want.
This is where I want to be.
I go through the house to the back doors. I step out onto the patio and halt. Chrissie’s eyes meet mine and I drink her in.
She’s sitting on one of the rattan and white-cushioned sofas, her legs curled beneath her. She’s changed from the clothes she was wearing earlier. She’s in a short, black silk nightgown and a kimono-style robe. Her golden hair falls over her gracefully muscled shoulders, framing her lovely face and covering her breasts.
“I can’t ask you to stay the night. I want to, but I can’t,” she murmurs.
“I didn’t think you were going to, but now I wish you would.”
She smiles and sinks her perfect teeth into her lower lip. She gnaws slowly a few times. She’s not going to ask me to bed, but she wants to. I can see it in the tension on her face, the way her irises darken.
“I get what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, Chrissie. There’s a lot going on in your house that doesn’t involve us.” I step toward her. “But would it be all right if we sit out here and talk and wait for the sunrise?”
“I’d like that,” she says, her eyes on mine and softening into lush blue.
I settle beside her, pulling her close until she’s tucked into me, surrounded by my arm.
“We should talk,” she whispers, running the rim of her wineglass against her lips.
Gently, I touch her face with the tips of my fingers and run them down her cheek. “Then we’ll talk until we can’t anymore.”
“There’s so much I need to say to you.”
I start kissing the spot beneath her ear and then work my way to her shoulder. She closes her eyes and angles into my touch. Leaning down, I run my nose along her collarbone and then to the swell of her breasts, inhaling her scent as my passion instantly ignites in my body.
I take the wineglass from her fingers and set it on the table. My fingers move into her hair. I nip at her ear, then touch the lobe with my tongue. “It’s OK that we sit through the night. Talk. Wait for the sunrise—” I kiss the spot where her pulse beats. She moans and holds on to me. “—and maybe touch a little.”
A small laugh. “If you do that again, Alan, I’m going to break my own rules and fuck you right here.”
“Not a bad idea,” I whisper. Grasping her hips, I lift her until she’s sitting on my lap, straddling me. “But I have a better idea.”
Her eyes stray to my mouth. I kiss her, consuming her kiss, reveling in the taste of her. Her breathing is harsh, like mine.
She pulls back, breathless. “What’s your better idea? This one isn’t enough for me.”
My hands flatten on her back, guiding her into my kiss. My lips move softly at first, claiming her, possessing her, and building…building…then I’m consumed by her as I try to pour everything I feel for her into this kiss.
“I love you,” I murmur, my voice hoarse, my blood raging, my thoughts careening. “We still have time, Chrissie, to have a wonderful life together. I don’t want to waste even a minute of it. Let me be here with you. However it works out. Let me love you, however you want it. Whatever you need from me, let me give it. However you want me, I’m yours. But let’s not waste any more time, baby. Marry me.”
Chapter 15
Two months later
Oh fuck. I’ve overslept. That’s Bach’s Air on a G String pouring from the ceiling speakers. Chrissie is already in motion for the day. I probably won’t catch her again until midnight.
How the hell does she manage this pace?
I stretch out in bed. Fuck, I’m fully erect. Hard. Ready to go. And she’s not here. She knows the agreement. 4 a.m. to 7 a.m. is our time. I grab my cell phone from the night table.
Shit, it’s after eight.
Why the fuck did she let me sleep through the morning?
Early morning has become Pavlovian to me.
Oh, my favorite part of the day with her.
Doesn’t she get that yet?
I sit up and scan the room. Carafe of coffee on the nightstand. Thank you, Chrissie. No wife in room. Still too much sunlight in here even with the shades pulled down over every window.
I definitely need to reopen the discussion about moving. This house is too small. Anything short of fifteen thousand square feet with separate wings for everyone is too small. And I’m certainly not hot on the notion of living permanently in Pacific Palisades without a wall for privacy and security.
No, not doing that one, Chrissie. Time for another round of intense—probably futile—negotiations. Well, she might surprise me. She’s not always a pain in the ass, rigid and inflexible. She wasn’t that morning on the patio when she agreed to marry me. I can still feel it in my body exactly how it felt when she finally said yes…
* * *
I am sprawled on a backyard sofa with Chrissie draped over my body. It’s nearly sunrise. I don’t want to let go of her. I don’t want to leave. I feel completely sated. Lying here with her, doing nothing but quietly touching.
Fully aroused and sated at once.
“Say it again. I’m not sure I heard you correctly,” I whisper into her ear.
Chrissie laughs. She lifts her face and stares at me. “Yes, I will marry you, Alan. It was yes when you asked me. It was yes an hour ago. It’s still yes.”
We both laugh.
I hug her tightly, kissing the top of her head. “We can go to Nevada today. Get married there. No wait.”
“No, I’m not doing that.”
The tone of her voice—oh shit, she married Neil there.
“Fine. Then when?”
I stroke her hair and wait. I’m happy. Don’t ruin it, Chrissie. Not now. Tell me something I want to hear, baby.
“We need blood tests in California. It’s a three-day wait.”
Oh fuck. She’s organizing it in her head.
I take her face in my hands and move her head so I can stare into her eyes. “What is that? Four days’ time, tops? Fine. We’ll get married Thursday. Pick a place.”
Chrissie frowns. “You’re ridiculous. Four days, Alan? Not going to happen. I need more time. I want to get married somewhere quiet and beautiful. A place special to both of us. Where we can have the kids and some of our friends. Nothing elaborate. But I want it special.”
Damn. Special. That’s going to take a minimum of a year for her to pull together.
“So here’s what I’m thinking,” she says and I tense. I lift my head from the pillow so I can study her face and see where this is going. “No in regards to Thursday. Not happening. Not workable. But if we invite only the people we really like—”