“There’s no reason to keep clutching her to you like a rag doll,” Khol ground out. “Place her back down on the bed. She’s fine.” Uh-oh . . . the jig was up, Khol must have sensed I just wanted Bryn to hold me and obviously he wasn’t a fan of my plan.
“Bryn?” I murmured, pretending that I was just waking up.
“But then again, maybe I should give her some of my healing energy, just to be on the safe side,” Khol spoke up, not letting Bryn get a chance to respond to me. “Give her to me,” Khol ordered, and surprisingly Bryn obeyed.
I opened my eyes just in time to meet Khol’s deep green gaze instead of the sea storm eyes I’d been hoping for. “What are you doing?” I hissed between clenched teeth.
Khol’s eyes twinkled. “Why, healing you, of course, since you didn’t seem able to regain consciousness quickly enough, pointing at the fact that you might indeed be injured.”
I glared up at him angrily, but his face told me if I called him out, then he’d do the same in return. Ugh. I hated how he seemed to know every thought in my mind! “Stop it,” I grated.
“Stop what? I only seek to make you comfortable, my little Queen.” His hot, fevered lips met mine in a crushing blow, pushing all thoughts except for his caress instantaneously from my mind. His magic rolled over me like a tidal wave threatening to drown me. It was so strong; I’d never felt anything like it before. Held in his arms, basking in his power, with his kiss promising things that I couldn’t quite fathom, I found myself wondering, again, what it would be like to give myself to Khol completely.
“That’s enough!” Bryn’s angry voice broke through my reverie, and caused my entire body to flush with embarrassment, or maybe it was something else.
I made sure to not look at either of them when Khol put me back down on the bed. I cleared my throat and swallowed in an effort to combat my nerves. “I’m feeling much better now. Thank you Khol.” And that’s when I swore I heard Jenna’s voice in my mind. “I know something he could do for you that would make you feel much better.” Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I thought vehemently at the imaginary Jenna voice. I couldn’t even seem to find peace in my own head anymore.
Feeling angry, mostly at myself, I stood and stalked over to the bathroom, intent on seeing why the Queen had apologized about my hair. I wouldn’t allow myself to think about the fact that me having her powers, even though I didn’t feel any different, probably meant that both she and Dragos were already dead. And I most certainly wouldn’t allow myself to think about the fact that I had been lucky enough to have two sets of parents in my lifetime and now they were both dead. I flicked on the lights attached to the mirror in the bathroom and gasped in horror at what was reflected back at me. “Oh. My. God.” I reached up to touch the white glossy hair that was now in place of the strawberry blonde that had once adorned my head. Who would have thought that I would ever want that god-awful shade back? That’s when I noticed that the eyes that were studying my new ghastly shade of hair were no longer green, but the same gold the Queen’s had been . . . and they were glowing. My mouth fell open as I stared stricken at the stranger in the mirror who seemed to match me in mood and horror. “I need—” My voice came out shaky and high-pitched. “I need—” I tried again.
Khol appeared behind me and met my glowing eyes with his own illuminated pair. “What do you need, my little Queen?”
Not once, but twice he’d now referred to me as my little Queen instead of my little Seer, which had been his term of endearment prior to our little jaunt to the mountains. And I didn’t want to be anyone’s queen, let alone deal with the intimacy his nickname pointed at. Had Khol and I become closer than I’d realized over the last couple of months because I felt so comfortable around him? I hated to admit that there was no one I trusted more than him at the moment, not even Bryn after he’d broken my trust by walking away from our relationship. But I wasn’t a queen, not really, and . . . “Don’t call me that!” I erupted. “And I need some hair dye, damn it! I can’t go around in public like this! It looks ridiculous!”
“You can’t dye it,” Khol stated a little too calmly for my taste.
“Don’t tell me that I can’t dye it! It’s my hair and I’ll do whatever the hell I want with it!” Where did he get off thinking he could tell me first what to do about the baby who was growing in my body, and then tell me about my hair? I had to draw the line somewhere.
Khol’s face contorted into the familiar look of aggravation mixed with wariness that he seemed to reserve specifically for me. “No, I mean, you can’t . . . literally. It’s the magic that has changed the color, and it’s the magic that will prevent any hair dye from taking root.”
“Bullshit!” I hissed. “Just watch me!”
“It’s a waste of your time,” Khol retorted in a monotone voice. I don’t know if he was trying to be calm to talk me off the ledge, so to speak, but it in fact was having the opposite effect.
“Bryn!” I yelled, whirling around to take in his bulky form hunched over on the bed with his face in his hands, making me stop short. “What’s wrong?” I made my way swiftly to his side and dropped down on my knees beside him so I could look up into his face. Well, I would once I got his hands out of the way. After a few short tugs, his hands fell from his face and he looked at me with tears glistening in his eyes. “Bryn?” I asked on shaky breath. What could possibly cause him to tear up, because Bryn wasn’t exactly the type of guy who welled up easily? In fact, I don’t think I’d ever seen him look so remorseful.
He reached out and wrapped a piece of my hair around his index finger. Slowly, while still staring at me, he brought his other hand to gently cup my cheek with his thumb resting near my left eye. “It doesn’t feel like you anymore. It’s as if my Peej is gone.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” I tried to smile but my face felt too tight. “I dyed my hair before and you were okay with it; this won’t be any different.”
His sea storm eyes sparked with dragon blue, making them appear fathomless. “It’s not because of your hair . . .” He circled his thumb by my left eye causing my lashes to flutter involuntarily. “. . . Or even your eyes.” His grip tightened in my hair and on my face, but not enough to hurt. “It’s just all of it—when I look at you—you’re not the Peej I grew up with anymore.”
“Of course I am. I’ll always be her.” But was I really? Was I ever her to begin with? Or was she just an illusion I created for myself out of the information I thought to be true about me?
“No.” He shook his head slowly while still staring at me. “She was lost to me before I ever really had her.”
“What are you saying?” Was he trying to tell me that he didn’t love me anymore? That too much had changed? My heart picked up speed as I waited for him to respond.
“I’m saying that if I thought you were too good for me before well . . .” His voice broke off and he stood abruptly. “I don’t know if I can stick with what we agreed to anymore.”
“You have to,” I whispered. “You just have to.” It was the only chance I had to truly be with him and he couldn’t take that away from me. I wouldn’t let him. “I’ll order you. I’m Queen now, and you’re half dragon. I’ll order you to stick to the plan.” I wasn’t sure if I could do that, but being queen had to come with some kind of perks.