I sat beneath that tree until no more tears would come, and the air began to grow chilly with the onset of dusk. But I had nowhere else to go, so I stayed until all there was left to do was sleep.
17
I dreamt that I was in a maze, not knowing which way was out, and as I ran around one of the corners, I saw Bryn. He smiled at me, giving me one of his patented lopsided grins complete with dimples, and turned to run from me. He glanced over his shoulder and called out, “This way Peej.” As if I was supposed to follow him. And of course I did. Or at least I tried. But bands of steel held me around my waist, keeping me from moving from the spot I stood. I yelled at him to wait but he didn’t seem to hear me. I struggled against the bands, and when I looked down I realized that they weren’t bands at all, but arms. I whirled around in a panic to see who was keeping me from following Bryn, half expecting to find Khol, but instead I found Drake. He grinned at me and whispered harshly, “You belong with my lord. And I’ll make sure he gets you.” That’s when I screamed.
“It’s okay, it was just a nightmare.” A heartbreakingly familiar voice murmured from underneath me. My eyes snapped open and I inhaled sharply the scent that I’d come to think of as home . . . Bryn! His hands pulled through my hair, smoothing it back away from my face. “Peej,” he whispered my name like a little prayer as I swept my eyes up the line of his chest to meet his fathomless dark blue eyes. My whole body tightened with need, and I pushed myself up so I could slant my lips over his. I needed him, needed to taste him, needed to feel his skin underneath mine. I’d never been so singularly driven to possess Bryn in such a way in all of my life. It was as if I couldn’t have him . . . all of him . . . as soon as I could manage . . . I would just shrivel up and die.
As I pushed my tongue into his mouth, demanding him to accept me, I pulled myself up so I could straddle him. He immediately responded to me, a low growl rumbling in the back of his throat as his hands threaded into my hair and pulled me tighter to him. I frantically ground myself against his growing need, wishing that there were no clothes separating us, wondering if I could possibly wait one moment longer or if I possessed the skill to just burn them off without injuring him. “I need you . . . now,” I gasped into Bryn’s mouth as he lifted his hips up to meet me while I continued my frantic gyrating rhythm. I swore I’d never need anyone again . . . especially a man . . . but I did. I needed Bryn in that moment more than I needed oxygen in my lungs to breathe. It’s exactly what I’d told Khol, and it was true. I was so empty without him and I needed him to fill me up, to make me feel . . . more.
And then he just stopped . . . everything. “No. Peej. We can’t do this,” Bryn croaked raggedly as he grabbed my wrists to keep me from holding on to him and slid out from under me.
“I need you, Bryn. Please,” I begged as I looked up into his tormented face. “I don’t wanna be with anyone but you. It’s been you, and only you for as far back as I can remember. It’ll be you—always.”
His sea storm eyes suddenly began to churn with anger as he regarded me darkly. “You never seem to have a problem getting cozy with Khol. It seems to me you want him plenty.”
My mouth dropped open and any sort of reply stuck in my throat. Bryn’s lips turned up into a cruel smile. “Even the first time when I was sent away, you couldn’t seem to keep your hands off him.”
White-hot fury coupled with adrenaline shot through my system. “Nala—that’s all I have to say about when you were sent away—Nala.” I ground my teeth together. “And as for the rest”—unbidden and unwanted images of the intimacies I’d shared with Khol played across my mind’s eye—“you practically put a bow around me and handed me to him.” It was true, if Bryn hadn’t walked away like he did from me, and he had just let our—even if it was semi-permanent—mate bond reform then I never would have so much as kissed Khol.
“A willing gift,” Bryn growled.
I rose up onto my knees so I could reach him, swung my arm through the air, and slapped him across the face with as much force as I could manage. “I love you—you stupid asshole!” And I was showing him in a very peculiar way at the moment.
Bryn blinked his dark lashes over his shocked blue eyes at me, all anger draining from his face. “You hit me,” he said as he brought his hand up to cover the small red spot blooming on his perfectly chiseled jaw. “I can’t believe you hit me,” he mumbled numbly as he continued to stare at me.
“You deserved it,” I said with conviction.
Bryn shook his head slowly and the shock turned into some emotion I couldn’t quite read. “I think you should leave.”
I raised my chin at him petulantly. “No,” I replied simply.
“No?” Bryn said incredulously.
“No,” I said again.
“Then I guess I’ll just have to make you,” Bryn retorted as his face morphed into a mask of zen. All cold clean lines, and no emotions . . . at least none I could read. Which was beyond frustrating because I used to be able to read him so well, or at least I thought I could. He reached for me, and I slipped out from under his grasp, reached up and smacked him across his other cheek this time.
His arms immediately dropped to his sides and he gazed at me with renewed shock. “You hit me again.” Thanks, Captain Obvious. Next would you like to tell me that the sky is blue?
“Yeah, I did. And I’m gonna keep hitting you until I smack some sense into you.” Did I really just say that? When did I become so violent? Since Bryn started refusing to see reason, that helpful little voice whispered in my brain. As if to punctuate my point, I reached up and hit Bryn again. This time he just stood there as still as a statue, his big blue eyes blinking in confusion at me. His lack of reaction only angered me more. So I hit him again . . . and again . . . and again. He continued to just stand there. What the hell? The sound of my palm meeting his face, first on one side and then the other was the only sound besides our harsh breathing. I just couldn’t seem to stop myself. Crack, crack, crack . . . a steady rhythm was taking shape, and I seemed to be a slave to its dance.
Finally Bryn reacted. He moved with the speed of a dragon and Guardian mixed as one as I abruptly found myself pinned under his body on his bed. His eyes blazed the fiercest dragon blue, and even though I couldn’t see them, I was positive mine glowed just as brightly. What would he do? I absentmindedly wondered, too focused on his perfectly formed face, and how even contorted with rage, it was the most beautiful one I’d ever laid eyes on. “You may be quick to give me away Bryn Aries O’Bannon, but make no mistake—you always have been and always will be mine,” I spat at him with more harshness in my voice than I intended.
A low growl erupted from his chest and before I really registered what was happening, his lips came crashing down on mine. He covered me with his entire body, pinning me with his weight down into his mattress. I moaned my approval as his tongue plunged into my mouth, hot and wanting. This is what I needed; this is what I’d been waiting for. As he ground himself into me with wild abandon, I lifted my hips up to meet him with each thrust. His clothes needed to be off . . . like yesterday. I was more than happy to help him with his not being naked issue. I tore at his clothes with a desperation he seemed to match, and within what seemed like the blink of an eye, Bryn loomed over me, naked and ready to finally give me what I needed . . . him.