“Jeremy, just promise her,” Jenna growled.
“I can’t,” he mumbled. “I just can’t. He has the right to know.”
Desperate for a way to at least stall him from telling Bryn, I grasped at straws. “At least wait. Give me some time. Let what’s going to play out, play out.”
“But it could make a difference in what he decides.”
“Exactly!” I exclaimed with exasperation. “And I don’t want it to! I need for him to decide about me without this influencing him!”
“So you would risk him and you mating to other dragons when you could prevent it—”
“It’s not that simple,” I interjected before he could finish. “I want him to be with me for me and no other reason. I love him too much for anything less. I would always wonder if he was only with me because of the child.” Most girls if faced with my situation would use the pregnancy to win Bryn back, but not me. I’d never been normal. Besides what if finding out I was pregnant with his child had the opposite effect? He was already willing to let me mate with Khol because he thought he wasn’t strong enough to protect me, how would he feel if he knew it wouldn’t just be me he was protecting anymore?
Jeremy shifted uncomfortably under my and Jenna’s stares. “Fine.” He finally caved. “I won’t go and just tell him, but if he asks—”
“Why would he ask?” Jenna snapped. “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”
“I’ll take it,” I said on an exhale of relief. It may not have been exactly what I wanted, but it was close enough, at least for the time being. Besides Jenna was right, I doubted Bryn would ever ask anyone in passing if I was pregnant, especially Jeremy. “Now”—I turned toward the door on shaky legs—“I need to go lay down for awhile or something. This is all just—too much.”
“We’ll help you,” Jenna said with a false cheer to her voice. I could tell she was just as much in shock as I was. I was the responsible one after all. Well, at least I used to be. I always thought that if one of us got pregnant, it would be her.
I opened the door to find Khol standing on the other side with a wild look in his eyes. He reached out and snatched me up into his arms before I could even blink and the next thing I knew we were in another room . . . not mine . . . but his. “I guess you know?” I mumbled, already knowing the answer. Of course he would have picked up the information through our connection. Duh.
He set me down on his bed gingerly as if I might break. “It could be mine.”
I rolled my eyes. Men. “No, it can’t. Jeremy, who happens to be an energy reader extraordinaire, says that I’m not far enough along for it to possibly be yours.”
“The gestation period of a dragon is different than a human’s.”
I squeezed my eyes together tightly. “Of course it is.” And of course, Jeremy wouldn’t know that, just like I wouldn’t.
“You being half dragon, and me being full-blooded, if it was mine, the pregnancy would progress more slowly despite you being part human because the child would be mostly dragon. I would imagine if it were Bryn’s, then the pregnancy would happen more along the human time line.”
“So what you’re telling me,” I said with my eyes still closed, “is that the child I’m carrying could be either of yours?”
“Yes,” Khol grunted. I could tell he wasn’t any more pleased with the situation than I was.
“Maybe I just shouldn’t have it,” I whispered more to myself than him.
He responded with a low growl that bounced off the walls and made me cringe away from him as I squinched my eyes closed even tighter. “You will not end your pregnancy no matter who the father is.”
My eyes snapped open as anger began to boil my blood. Who was he to tell me what to do with my body? “Why not?” I glared into his angry glowing eyes that burned brighter than any high beams I’d ever seen. “It’s my body and my choice.”
He leaned into me and took me by the shoulders, another growl erupting from his chest. “It could be my child, and therefore I have a say.”
“No—you don’t. Especially if it’s yours. What happened between us, even though I technically accepted it . . . it was about as close to rape without actually being rape as it could be.” It was a tad more complicated than that, but I wanted to hurt him, and that was a sure fire way to do it.
“Please,” his face softened to show the pain that was really fueling his anger. “I will take care of you . . . and the child . . . no matter who the father is. I will love you and the baby until the end of time.” I’d never seen Khol look so vulnerable before. I could see in his face exactly how much he wanted me . . . and my child for his own. I knew in that moment that he would do exactly what he promised . . . unlike Bryn . . . and he would never walk away from me. Maybe the best choice for me, and my child, would be mating with Khol. He would be strong enough to protect us, to keep us completely safe. Wait . . . what was I thinking? Were my hormones already making me lose control of my sanity? Maybe that’s what happened before too?
“Your dragon instincts are taking over in order to protect your child. That part of you knows what would be best for you . . .” Khol reached out his large warm hand and placed it on my stomach. “And for the child.”
I brought my much smaller hand up to rest on top of his. “Khol—thank you. I don’t know what else to say. But I’m not that girl. A part of me wants to be—but I would end up hating myself if I made my decision based solely on what’s easier for me.” I paused to try and gather my thoughts better; everything was happening so fast, as per usual in my world. “I thought everything was settled. We’ve been down this road before . . . kind of . . . with the whole you and me and Bryn thing. It actually feels a little déjà vu-ish. I can’t keep going in circles.” But how would I stop? Maybe . . . I don’t know . . . Maybe it was time to let fate decide once and for all. A plan slowly started to form in my mind, and honestly I didn’t see any other option that I could live with. “I’m going to let fate decide.” I lifted my face up so I could meet Khol’s eyes. “Whoever’s child I’m carrying . . . I’ll mate with him.”
Khol’s jaw ticked with tension. “And if Bryn has already mated with another, or refuses you because of his stubbornness?”
Would he? Would Bryn refuse his child and me if that ended up being the case? I just couldn’t imagine him doing that to me, but then again I had never imagined him actually walking away from me either. “I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.” I grimaced. Almost nineteen and pregnant . . . Way to go, P.J.! “Is there a way to tell this early?” I was sadly uneducated when it came to paternity stuff. Of course never in a million years did I ever think I’d end up having a “who’s your daddy?” moment.
“No, not without risking the health of the child.” He cupped my face in his hand tenderly, his illuminated green eyes glowing with hope. “But does that mean that you’ve decided to keep it?”
I bit my lip as I looked at him. “Yeah, I guess it does.” Huh. I was going to be a mom. I—P.J. Stone was—going to be . . . a mom. I’m going to be a mommy. I knew it would happen eventually, but the feelings of a panic attack began in my chest and starting worming its way through my nervous system. “I can’t be a mom,” I choked out as I gasped for air. Why was it suddenly so hot in here? And why did it feel like I had an elephant sitting on my chest? I reached out and dug my nails into Khol’s arm. “I can’t—” But I couldn’t finish the sentence, my lungs wouldn’t let me.