“Nah, that’s what you want to believe, so you don’t feel bad about wanting my sexy body.”
Alannah rolled her eyes. “I swear ye’ love the sound of your own voice.”
“I’m partial to it,” I agreed.
“Remember when ye’ had strep last year and lost your voice?” At my nod, she said, “Those were the best ten days of me life.”
Keela burst into giggles as I glared at my arch-enemy.
“You’re turning my own wife against me, Ryan.”
Alannah, looking mighty pleased with herself, put her glasses back on and looked at the television screen and said, “Are ye’ watchin’ Star Wars?”
Keela nodded. “The Force Awakens.”
“I don’t really like them, the old or the new ones.”
I gasped. “Get the fuck out of my house.”
Alannah didn’t move a muscle. Instead, she beamed at Keela when my wife thumped my side. “Ye’ can’t kick people out of the house because they don’t like the same films as ye’.”
“You calm yourself.” I pointed my index finger at her. “Star Wars is more than a movie franchise, and you know it.”
Alannah snorted. “Star Trek is better.”
Keela sucked in a breath. “Alannah, run.”
I felt my blood boil. I shot to my feet and put my entire focus on Alannah Slater. She was a pest that I was about to exterminate. Keela’s warning was all the head start she got as I made a beeline for her. She jumped to her feet, screamed like a banshee, and ran out of the house at high speed, but that didn’t derail me from chasing her. Neither did just being in my boxers.
“Get back here, you little Trekkie whore!”
I could have sworn I heard her fucking laugh as she ran from me.
“Help!” She screeched as she sprinted for Ryder and Branna’s house.
She made it to the front door just as Ryder and Damien raced outside. When they saw the scene before them, they started to laugh. Damien stopped laughing and widened his eyes when he realised that his wife wasn’t slowing down. He opened his arms and caught her as she flung herself at his body and wrapped her short-ass limbs around him.
“Save me,” she panted. “He’s fuckin’ crazy!”
“Death!” I hollered as I slowed down to a brisk walk. “Death is what you shall—OW!”
I cut myself off when blinding hot pain shot up my right foot. I reached down, grabbed my foot and hopped around as agony tore through me. It happened. What every parent feared happened ... I stepped on a motherfucking Lego. Right there in the front yard of my eldest brother’s home.
“The devil is real!” I hissed as I lowered my foot back down to the ground. “So fucking real!”
I heard my brothers crack up, then childlike laughter joined them. I turned to Ryder’s van, loaded with his kids and mine, and they were all pointing at me and laughing their little heads off while Enzo was grinning with his phone pointed in my direction. I glared at him until he put the phone away with a rueful smile.
I looked at Damien and Alannah who was standing next to Ryder smiling so wide I knew her damn cheeks had to be hurting.
“Where are your demon kids?”
“In our car behind you,” Damien answered.
I turned around and waved at my nephews who were laughing at me, too. I think they were laughing at me being outside in just my boxers rather than stepping on a Lego.
Little shits.
“Dame and Ry are goin’ to watch their footie games. Don’t ye’ wanna go?”
“You know I’m not allowed at one of their games until my two years are up.”
“Oh yeah,” Alannah mused. “I forgot ye’ got a two-year ban for distruptin’—”
“I disrupted nothing,” I stated firmly. “That damn referee was paid off. I could feel it in my bones.”
The entire ban was a joke. I was standing up for the club’s honour, and I get a two-year ban for assaulting a referee. I barely touched the man. I think I shoved him at best and maybe told him I’d lodge my foot up his ass, but that was it.
“That gave ye’ no right to attack the man durin’ the kids’ game, Alec.”
I waved my sister-in-law off. “It wasn’t that bad.”
“Ye’ made the man cry,” Alannah countered. “And a bunch of the kids, too.”
I’ll admit ... I forgot about that part.
“Bad things happen every day. They needed toughing up.”
“It was a nine-year-old’s football game, Alec. Not the bloody World Cup final.”
My brothers laughed at Alannah, which made me rolled my eyes.
“Even if I wanted to go to their games, which I don’t, Miller hurt his head, so he’s staying home. Alfie is in my house too. I’ll watch them.”
“Ye’ sure?” Alannah quizzed. “I won’t be there to annoy ye’. Dominic will be there, so will Kane. I’ll be at the community centre.”
She practically lived there.
“That’s a tempting offer, but no. I’m good, love.”
Alannah snorted as she walked by me, and mumbled, “Star Trek is still better.”
“Trekkie whore!”
She ran all the way to her car laughing. She jumped into the passenger side and locked the door, screaming when she looked up and saw me staring through the window motioning my finger across my neck.
“You’re done when I get you, Ryan.”
“I’ll have you know she’s been a Slater for ten years.”
I looked at my baby brother, ignoring the fact that at thirty-eight he wasn’t a baby anymore, and glared at him.
“The demon part of her is a Ryan. That’s when the bitch comes out to play.”
“Don’t curse!” Alannah shouted through the window.
“Excuse me, but I am a Christian.” I placed my hand over my heart. “I would never speak such vulgar language in front of children.”
Alannah rolled her eyes. “It’s amazing how ye’ become a man of God when you’re in it up to your neck.”
I scowled at her. “Back off, Satan.”
She beamed at me, then discreetly stuck her finger up at me as my brother drove off with my nephews waving and making funny faces at me. Ryder was getting into his van too, so I waved at him, then jogged back across the road to my house, watching my step this time. When I entered my house and closed the door after me, I went into the sitting room and found my wife lying on her side with her eyes closed. I knew she was asleep without having to get close to her to confirm it. After we had babies, she developed the magical ability to fall asleep whenever there was silence.
I sat next to her and put her feet on my lap. Un-pausing the television, I watched Star Wars by myself. When an hour passed by, I got up, careful not to wake Keela, and went to check on the boys. They were off their video game without me having to tell them, which pleased me. They were playing with slime that the boys had recently made, and once I saw they had the protective sheets on the floor, I made no mention of reminding them to be careful.
“Are you guys hungry?”
“Yeah,” they answered in unison.
“What do you want?”
“I’m feelin’ noodles,” Alfie answered.
“Yeah.” Miller bobbed his head in agreement. “I want noodles, too. Curry ones.”
“I’ll have chicken, please.”
With their orders noted, I went down to the kitchen and made their noodles. I called them down to eat when I dished them up and put them on the table. I jumped a little when I felt hands slide around my stomach. I relaxed when I heard my wife giggle.
“You scared me.”
“I know,” she mused. “Ye’ never hear me when I come up behind ye’.”
“‘Cause you move like a ninja.”
Keela chuckled, and when I turned to face her, my smile vanished when I saw her eyes were red and swollen.
“What’s wrong?”