“I didn’t do anything.” I said as I jumped to my feet and tried to run out of the room, but he was bigger and faster than me. He caught me by my hair and slammed me to the ground. I couldn’t cry out or make any sound other than a groan of pain. It was like a scream was clogged in my throat and couldn’t escape.
“Dad,” I rasped when I rolled onto my back. “What’d I do?”
“You’re a faggot!”
I widened my eyes just as hit boot made contact with my groin and blinding pain attacked my nerves. I cupped my crotch, curled up, and writhed silently in pain. I had never experienced a sensation so agonising as it consumed my body. I felt hot tears sting at the corners of my eyes before they fell in big, fat droplets. I couldn’t move, the searing hot agony that spread outward from my groin seemed to paralyse my muscles.
“A security camera tagged you fucking one of runners after a product drop.”
He was circling me now, like a shark stalking its prey. I cried harder when he kicked the base of my spine. I had never been in so much physical pain in my life, but it was nothing compared to the hurt that spread throughout my heart. I knew my dad held no love for me or my brothers, but being on the receiving end of his cruelty hurt me in more ways than one.
“You’re a fucking faggot!” Dad spat before he rounded on me and kicked my stomach. “Do you think you can fuck guys within the compound, and it wouldn’t get back to me?”
I turned my head to the side and vomited at the contact.
“Dad,” I choked. “Please—”
He leaned down on one knee next to me and raised his hand. A punch to my face cut me off, and this time, an audible cry escaped me.
“Oh, so now you’re gonna fucking cry!” Dad cruelly taunted. “You can’t take a whooping like a man, so you have to cry like the little bitch you are?”
I gritted my teeth and forced myself not to make a sound. I squeezed my eyes shut and willed my tears to go away. I refused to show him just how much he broke me down. I could never let him know just how badly his words cut me.
“I can take it.”
Dad grunted a laugh and hit me again. That punch to the face sent me spiralling into darkness, and I welcomed it. I suddenly felt no more pain as numbness consumed me. Nothing had ever felt better ... until the agony returned. I felt hands on my shoulder, and when they shook me, pain shot up my spine, and caused me to groan.
“Alec?” I heard a sharp intake of breath. “Alec, who did this to you?”
I opened my eyes, and for a second, I jolted with fear because I thought my dad was still hovering over me, but when I focused my eyes, I realised it was Ryder. Fear, worry, and anger shone in his eyes. He turned his head and called for someone. I closed my eyes, and when I opened them next, Kane was in my face.
“Are you okay, Alec?”
I tried to smile to assure him I was okay, but a wince was all I could muster. I wasn’t okay, my body was screaming that I wasn’t, but for my brothers, especially my younger brothers, I had to hold it together.
“Alec,” Ryder’s voice repeated firmly. “Who did this to you?”
I lifted one eye, and said, “Dad.”
Ryder’s eyes flashed with anger.
“Don’t ... don’t go to him about it,” I pleaded as fear filled me. “He’ll just come back and beat me again for needing you to defend me.”
“You’re fifteen,” Ryder scowled. “He shouldn’t be hitting on you like this. Your entire face is swollen, and I think your ribs may be cracked.”
The pain when I inhaled and exhaled told me my brother’s theory was mostly correct.
“I’ll be fine,” I said through gritted teeth as the pain throbbed away. “Just get me to my room, and I’ll be fine.”
The next ten minutes involved me gritting my teeth to cope with the pain as my brothers helped me get to my bedroom. When I finally lay down on my bed, tears were falling down my face. Before I could reach up and wipe them away, Kane did it for me, careful not to press too hard on my swollen face. I felt my shoes being pulled off and then my T-shirt and jeans. I opened my eyes and realised that Ryder had cut my clothes from my body with scissors, so he could see the damage.
“I’ll kill him.”
Panic surged through me.
“No, don’t,” I begged. “Ry, you know going against him will only make him hurt you and me. Please.”
Ryder struggled to remain calm. I saw him flex his fingers before his balled his hands into fists. His body trembled, and I knew anger roared through him for what had happened to me.
“Tell me why he did this to you.”
I closed my eyes. “I can’t.”
My words barely a whisper.
“Why, Alec?” Ryder and Kane said in unison.
“Because you’ll hate me,” I said, hating when tears stung my eyes. “You’ll disown me.”
“Alec,” Ryder said, his face pale. “Nothing you could ever do would make us reject you. Do you hear me? You’re our brother, and we love you.”
My tears fell. They slid down my temple and blended into my hairline.
“I ... I got caught having sex on camera,” I began, closing my eyes to give me the courage to voice what needed to be said. “With ... with a guy.”
Things were silent but only for a moment.
“Okay,” Ryder said tentatively. “What else happened for Dad to hurt you so bad?”
I opened my eyes. “That was the reason he attacked me.”
Kane leaned forward. “Are you telling me Dad beat you bloody because you had sex with a guy? Are you kidding me?”
I shook my head and winced. Everywhere fucking hurt.
“Do you think I’m disgusting?”
Ryder and Kane shared a look, then looked back at me with raised brows.
“Because you like guys?” Kane asked. “Alec, I know lots of gay guys. Why would you think something so normal would be wrong?”
My heart slammed into my chest as warmth filled me.
“I ... I was scared you wouldn’t think that.”
“Being gay is on the same wavelength as being straight. It’s not a problem.”
I looked at Kane. “I’m not gay. I’m bisexual. I like both.”
“I always knew you liked both genders,” Ryder commented and surprised the hell out of me. “Your face is expressive when you’re around people you’re attracted to, little brother. I just waited until you wanted to tell us before I mentioned anything.”
I felt my eyes widen. I had no idea Ryder knew I was bisexual. I looked back and forth between my brothers, and there was no anger or disgust in their eyes, just concern. They really didn’t feel any type of way about me not being straight. They just accepted it and moved right along to the actual problem—me being hurt. I wanted to sob my heart out. All this time I had been so scared of them reacting like my dad did, and instead, they were supportive and understanding like I knew they would be deep down.
“You guys don’t know how relieved I am,” I said. “After what Dad did to me, I feared the worst.”
Ryder set his jaw. “Forget about him, he’s a piece of shit. I’m going to get the doctor to come and look at you.”
When he left the room, I looked at Kane, and said, “Do I look as bad as I feel?”
He nodded. “Worse. You look uglier than usual.”
When I laughed, I winced in pain, but at that moment I didn’t care. My brothers knew me, the real me, and loved me all the same. I didn’t need anyone as long as I had them. Ryder was right when he said, ‘Fuck dad.’ Everyone else who stood against us could get fucked too. We needed no else. I needed no one else.
TRIGGER WARNING:
The following chapter contains details of rape and attempted suicide. Please skip chapter three of Alec’s part in BROTHERS if you’re are not comfortable with reading the subject matter.