“Leland is in charge of cleanup tonight, so he has recruited all of them to help.”
I rolled onto my back, and said, “Get your fine ass over here then.”
Alannah approached me, and said, “I think I’ll miss the beard, but Noble was right. Alec would end ye’ with jokes over it.”
“I know.” I sighed. “He’s a dick.”
My wife laughed as she climbed on top of me. She leaned down and brushed her lips over my freshly shaved skin. I slid my hands around to her ass and squeezed. She moved her lips to mine and smiled.
“Do we have sex or take a nap?”
I looked up at her, and said, “We had sex this morning, so I vote for a nap.”
Alannah laughed and rolled on her side next to me. She cuddled against me, and said, “I’m so proud of Kailen.”
“Me too,” I said, hooking my arm around her body. “I had no idea that he was dealing with it, though. Did you have any idea?”
“None,” Alannah answered. “I’m so glad we all know, and everyone is happy for him because it breaks me heart thinkin’ how scared he was that maybe we wouldn’t accept ‘im.”
I kissed the crown of her head. “Me too, but he’s happy now. Did you see his smile?”
“Yeah.” She relaxed. “He doesn’t have to hide anymore.”
I sighed, feeling content. “I love you, freckles.”
“I love ye’ too, Jack Frost.”
I smiled. “Can you believe it’s been twenty years since I first met you?”
“No, because it feels just like yesterday. Now we’re married and have five handsome young men. I love our life.”
“Me too, freckles. Me too.”
I closed my eyes and relaxed. I loved my wife and my kids more than life itself, but I would be lying if I said they didn’t wear me out. It was worth it, though. They were worth it. I counted my lucky stars every single night when I slid into bed next to my wife that I led the life I did because things could have turned out very different for me had it not been for my brothers.
I owed everything to them, and I always would.
CHAPTER TWO
Fifteen years old ...
“Damien?”
Please, go away.
“Damien, listen to me.”
I kept my eyes closed and didn’t move a muscle. I pretended that if I stayed still and didn’t speak, then no one could see me. I told myself I was trapped in a nightmare, and that at any minute, I would wake up and everything would be back to normal. That was all this was—a horrible dream. There was no way any of it could be real.
“Damien, open the door.”
I gritted my teeth and tried to force my brother’s voice out of my head. I kicked the door I laid next to, but still, I didn’t speak.
“It was an accident,” my eldest brother assured me through the white oak wood. “Everything is gonna be okay. Just open—”
“I killed him!” I cut Ryder off with a scream. “I killed Trent! I shot him. He’s dead because of me!”
I didn’t realise I was crying until I felt hot tears slide down my temples and into my hair. I reached up and covered my face with my hands as sobs tore free of my throat. I had been lying on my bedroom floor for what felt like hours, but in reality, it was probably only one. I had run up here and locked myself in when Dominic told me that the doctor said that Trent was dead. I lifted my hands from my face and punched myself in the head as I cried.
I wanted to run away and never look back, I wanted to forget my life and start over somewhere new ... but I knew that would never happen.
“Damien.” Ryder sighed, long and deep. “Please, just unlock the door so we can talk.”
There was nothing to talk about. Trent was dead because I lost my temper and shot him.
“Just go away!” I shouted. “Just leave me alone!”
I heard commotion outside in the hallway, then Kane snapped, “Open the door or I’m breaking it down. I’m deadass serious.”
I believed him, but I simply didn’t care. My chest hurt so much, my stomach felt sick, and my mind raced with terror. My brothers were the least of my problems at the moment.
I jumped when an uproarious smack sounded next to me.
“Kane!” I shouted. “Stop!”
“Open the fucking door then. Now!”
I scrambled to my feet, unlocked the door, and pulled it open. My four brothers stood in the hallway staring at me. Dominic was the first to step forward, but I jumped back away from him. Hurt cascaded across his face, but he said nothing. My brothers knew I was upset, but Dominic knew that what happened was killing me inside. He didn’t have to ask me; he just had to look in my eyes. We could always tell what was wrong with the other without asking questions.
“Marco’s gonna kill me,” I said, wiping my face with my hands. “I have to leave before he sends—”
“He’s not gonna touch you,” Ryder cut me off. “I told you that everything was going to be okay, and I meant it.”
I sniffled. “Trent was his nephew, and I killed him. Marco won’t let me get away with that, Ryder.”
I killed a member of our crew, and I knew the punishment for that. I had a debt to pay, a life for a life. Marco wouldn’t care that I was a kid. He had killed people younger than me for far less.
My brother stepped forward and placed his hand on my shoulder. “We’ve taken care of the problem. You’re safe.”
I looked from Ryder to my other brothers, then back again. “What’d you guys do?”
“We had a meeting with Marco,” Dominic answered. “We made him an offer, and he accepted it. You aren’t in danger.”
I couldn’t comprehend what they were saying, and before I could question them, Ryder pushed me over to my bed and sat me down.
“Ask us questions in a minute,” he said, sitting next to me. “Right now, tell me what happened.”
My mouth went dry. “You know what happened.”
“I know bits and pieces. I want you to tell me exactly what happened.”
I looked down to my feet. “I feel sick about it, Ryder.”
“It was an accident,” Alec stated.
I looked up at him, and said, “But it wasn’t.”
No one spoke.
“I aimed the gun at his chest, and I pulled the trigger because I wanted to kill him for what he said about Mom and Dad. I wanted ... I wanted him to pay for it.”
I looked back down at the floor. My mind kept replaying what happened over and over, but I forced myself not to focus on it. I didn’t want to relive it.
“I wish I hadn’t done it,” I said. “I just got so mad, and my chest hurt when he said Mom and Dad deserved to be dead. I couldn’t think after that.”
I lifted my hands to my face and for a minute or two, complete silence filled the room ... until a sick thought washed over me.
“I’m just like him.”
“Who?” Dominic asked.
I clasped my hands together to stop them from shaking.
“Dad,” I answered. “I always wanted him to love us, to love me, but I knew he was a bad person. I knew he did horrible things, and now so have I. I’m just like him.”
I loved my parents much to my brothers’ resentment. They did not understand how I could love people who didn’t love me back, and neither did I, but I loved them all the same. It shook my entire world when they died, and my brothers knew that.
“No,” Ryder said, turning me to look at him. “No, you aren’t. He did everything he did because he enjoyed it. He was happy. I can see by just looking at you how much you regret what happened, bud. You aren’t like him. You aren’t even close.”
I swallowed and inhaled a deep breath before I started speaking.
“Trent kissed Nala. I knew he had a crush on her, and it pissed me off that he would try to move in on her. I thought he was my friend.” I shook my head. “He smiled when I jumped him; it was like he knew I wanted to fight, and I was more than happy to give him what he wanted. I haven’t been feeling like myself since Mom and Dad died, so I wanted to take out all of the pain I felt on Trent.”