I nodded and kept my eyes closed, savouring her touch.
“Are ye’ okay?”
“I’m just enjoying this feeling of being close to you,” I answered as I opened my eyes. “I’ve missed you so much, freckles.”
“I’ve missed you too,” she said. “It killed me to shut ye’ out, but I needed to. I needed to reach this frame of mind where I was able to hear ye’ out.”
“I know, baby.”
When she kissed me, I was so surprised that I didn’t return the kiss for a few seconds, but when I did, it felt like magic. When we separated, I kept my hold on her. I never wanted to let her go again. Without her, I wasn’t complete.
“I want to talk to you about Alec,” I said. “He gave me permission to tell you this. This is something only I know, and by allowing me to tell you, he wants you to know that he loves and trusts you enough to keep this secret between the three of us.”
She reared back. “I don’t wanna know. I don’t wanna keep secrets anymore.”
“This is a secret that you won’t want to share,” I assured her. “It’s only to help you understand my brother and understand the level of love and trust he has for you after everything you have been through with Carter.”
Alannah looked torn but eventually nodded, and said, “Okay.”
“Alec is in his thirties, and he is happy all the time,” I began. “He makes innuendoes, he overreacts about a lot of things, he has shits and giggles about random things that pop into his head. He is different. Have you ever stopped and wondered why?”
She blinked. “No.”
“Out of all my brothers,” I continued. “Alec is the one who deserves to smile and laugh over dumb shit because for a very long time, the bubbly, happy man you know didn’t exist. He was a shell of a person.”
“What?” she whispered. “Why not?”
“He was heavily abused in his line of work.” I swallowed. “He was a prostitute in Marco’s eyes, but he considered himself to be an escort. Most of the time, he had consensual sex on the job. A lot of the time, he didn’t even have to kiss his dates, but some of the time ... he was forced to do things that I don’t want to go into detail about.”
“R-rape?”
“Yes.”
Alannah covered her mouth with her hand.
“It got bad,” I said, my voice tight. “When I was sixteen, a year after the jobs started, Alec was hurt by two men in a way I’ll never be able to get over.”
Alannah paled.
“He always came home late, and this night, I got some midnight snacks when I heard him come in and go up the stairs. He was crying. I had never heard him cry before, so I knew whatever happened to him was bad. I followed him up the stairs after a minute or two, just to see if he was okay and ... he tried to kill himself, Alannah,” I said, pain spreading across my chest like wildfire. “He used a rope, threw it over one of the beams on the ceiling, and put it around his neck. What those men did to him made him want to die.”
“Oh, God.”
“I still don’t know how I got him down or got the rope from around his neck. It’s all a blur, but I’m just happy I was awake when he came home, and that I followed him to see if he was okay.”
Alannah cried for my brother, and I held her.
“He told me everything that had happened to him and made me swear never to tell the others. Not because he didn’t trust them, but because he wanted to save them the pain of knowing.”
“Like ... like you and the others tried to do with me.”
“Yes, because some secrets are best left buried, baby.”
She nodded.
“I’ll never tell,” she swore. “I promise, I’ll never tell. I won’t even speak of it to Alec.”
“I know you won’t.”
“I can’t believe he went through that.”
“All of my brothers have been through hell.”
Alannah was quiet.
“It’s my fault,” I continued. “I ruined their lives because I couldn’t keep my temper in check.”
She looked up at me. “Are ye’ sure he never told Keela about this, though?”
“I’m sure.” I nodded. “When I came back, and when I was on my own with him, he explained that it was a part of his life he wanted to protect her from. Since he couldn’t protect her from the other parts of his life that had bad implications on their relationship.”
“Then why are ye’ tellin’ me?”
“Because he wants you to know just how much he does trust you. He hated how you looked at him the day Carter got in your head; it hurt him to see you scared of him. It’s just ... he was silent for so long, but now he has a reason to be heard. Do you understand?”
“I do.” She nodded. “I really do.”
When she suddenly stood, I looked up at her and frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothin’,” she answered. “I want to go up to Kane’s apartment so we can talk to everyone else.”
I got to my feet. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been surer of anythin’ in me life.”
When we entered my brother’s apartment, it was silent. We both entered the living room, and all eyes fell on us. Everyone’s eyes locked on Alannah’s and my hands, and they all seemed to sigh a breath of relief when they saw our fingers threaded together. Before anyone spoke, Alannah crossed the room to Alec and wrapped her arms around him tightly.
“I love ye’,” she said, her voice muffled against his chest. “So much ye’ cup obsessed bastard.”
Alec vibrated with laughter.
“I love you too, you cup destroying bitch. You’re getting me a new one, by the way. I’m going to be a nightmare until you do.”
When they separated, they were laughing. I noticed everyone was looking at the pair of us with grins. Bronagh embraced Alannah next, and she was crying.
“I love you so much.” She sniffled. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Alannah told her. “Do not be sorry. I understand.”
They held each other tightly.
“You’re me best friend, and I love ye’ so much.”
When they separated, Alannah looked around the room.
“I apologise to all of ye’s,” she said, swallowing. “I understand why ye’s wanted to protect me from knowin’ about your past, and I’m so sorry I called ye’ monsters. I hope ye’ can forgive me.”
“Alannah,” Ryder said with a huff. “You were forgiven the second you said it, kid.”
She hugged him, and then everyone else in the room, before she returned to my side and slid her arm around my waist.
“Me and Damien have talked, a lot, and he has told me everythin’ he needed to,” she said. “I wanted your stories to come from each of you, and I know you’re all willin’ to tell me, but as of right now, I don’t need to know any more. If I do, I’ll ask. At this moment in time, I just want to leave the past in the past and focus on our futures.”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself, Lana.”
She looked at Dominic when he spoke and smiled.
“I just need you four to help me with somethin’,” she said, nodding to Ryder, Alec, Kane, and Nico. “Somethin’ important.”
“Anything,” they replied.
“I need to ye’ tell Damien not to blame himself for all the horrible things Marco and those other people involved have put ye’s through because he blames himself and doesn’t believe me when I say otherwise. He doesn’t feel like he is truly a brother to you lads, and it breaks me heart that he feels that way.”
I tensed and looked down at her, shocked she had mentioned that.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“I do,” Dominic said, gaining my attention. “Say that you aren’t to blame, and that you’re my brother.”
“I am to blame, though,” I replied. “This happened, all of it, because of me. Every job you all had to do, every ounce of pain and worry your women went through, was because of me. I ruined everything.”