At eight in the morning, right in the middle of gulping coffee straight from the coffee pot, my phone buzzed and I groaned out loud. “I’m cleaning it up. I don’t need help, go back and snuggle with your Bucket of Yum, and relax,” I laughed into the phone, not even bothering with any hellos.
Bree sighed on the other end and whispered, “The guilt is killing me.”
“This isn’t about the cleaning, huh?” I asked, knowing full well it had everything to do with not cleaning.
She whimpered into the phone.
“My brother loved you more than anything, Jen. He’d want to see you move on and be happy. Michael’s been gone over a year and you deserve a little bit of fun and happiness. Please, just enjoy yourself.” I laughed loudly, “I mean don’t enjoy yourself, enjoy Dylan. Go. Have fun. And sex. Have lots of hot, dirty, nasty sex.”
“I know you’re right, but…God, I have felt numb for so long. My body just shut down when he died, and now with Dylan I feel alive again.” She sobbed quietly into the phone and sniffled. “But, I feel like I’m cheating on Michael,” she whispered.
“Honey, you’re not going to be able to have a future with anyone if you keep yourself in the past. What you and Michael had was beautiful, but he’s gone and you need to let yourself live. You never know what’s going to happen, just be happy and live for you, live for today. I’m not asking you to forget him, just let some other people in, that’s all.”
“Michael and Dylan would have been friends. Great friends,” she whispered.
“And, I bet he wouldn’t be able to pick a better guy for you to date,” I said.
“You always say just what I need to hear. I’m glad we stayed close because I wouldn’t have been able to deal with losing Michael without you. I would have been all fucking alone.”
“You’re like my sister. No, you are my sister, look at what you did for me. You ran away with me! You wouldn’t let me do any of this alone,” I replied.
“I couldn’t, because you didn’t leave me. You’re the only family I have,” she sniffed softly.
“I love you, sweets. I really do, and you deserve to be happy. Dylan makes you smile again. He’s a nice guy. Go and enjoy yourself for a little while. I’m not telling you to marry the guy, just have fun. No excuses; continue with your love fest please.”
“Shut up,” she laughed. “I’ll be by later to get my bag for work. I forgot it last night. Love you and thanks, Sam…for everything.”
Hanging up, I smiled at the state of chaos in the trailer. “Prepare to be cleaned, O-C-fucking-D style,” I laughed out loud, swallowing back the last remnants of coffee from the bottom of the pot.
So, dressed in only my sleepwear, which consisted of a tiny black tank top that ended above my navel and a tight pair of boy shorts, I armed myself with a pair of latex gloves, broke out the bleach, my iPod and speakers.
An hour later, the pungent smell of bleach and lemons filled the air and the place was literally sparkling. All of the dishes were washed, everything that was ever touched by human hands was disinfected and I felt brand new. I threw my gloves off and looked around. The only thing left to clean was the floors, one last time, so I raised the volume of the music and mopped to the beat of Raise Your Glass by Pink. Dancing around, I sang the words into the mop handle and tried to bust out some moves like I watched the girls do on stage at the bar. In front of the stove, I did one of those sexy stripper stomps in my white beat up chucks on my tippy toes, pretending they were stilettos. When I got to the couch, I flipped my hair around, squatted down into one of those spread eagle moves and slid myself back up, laughing, shaking my backside and spinning around the mop.
“Um…Lainey,” Bree’s voice stammered, pulling my eyes up to hers at the door. She’d caught me doing a hell of a lot worse, so I felt no shame. Hell, we usually giggled and practiced these moves together. However, when I saw who was standing next to her, my stomach dropped and I yelped out a squeal of mortification.
Kade fucking Grayson.
Kade fucking Grayson got to watch me dance after all. Well, universe, you seem to be desperately trying to rain all sorts of shit down my neck, what next?
Bree’s voice interrupted my arguments in the case of Universe vs. My Shitty Life. “I just came back to pick up my uniform and I came upon Kade here, looking at something very interesting to him through one of our windows,” she laughed. “I have to get to the bar, or should I stay here?” she asked, eyeing me and grabbing her workbag off the hanger on the door.
Wait. What? He was watching me freaking dance while I cleaned?
My mouth wanted to drop open. I was beyond humiliated, but there was no way I would let him know it bothered me. “I’m fine, Bree,” I answered, indifferently.
“Ooookay then, enjoy whatever the hell you got going on here…” she said awkwardly, and walked out of the trailer.
Slowly, I moved myself behind the small kitchen counter that separated the kitchen and other rooms, trying to block his view from me. “What are you doing here, Mr. Grayson?” A slow burn spread across my cheeks and heated my scalp as I stood, waiting for his explanation. He watched me dance?
He moved around the counter closer to me. His intense stare lowered from my flushed cheeks down to my breasts, across my stomach, and lingered with heat on my bare legs before it traveled slowly back over my entire body again to my eyes. His look was dark. Sexy. Oh. My. God. It felt as if he licked me in one long slow stroke, up and down my entire body. Thanks universe, just crank the sexual tension up a few notches, whydon’tcha?
I stood there trembling, uncertain as to what I should do. Uncertain as to how I felt about his eyes on me. Okay. Fine. I. Liked. It. There, I admitted it.
“Uh…I…I forgot my jacket again. Last night. Here,” he choked out.
Was I making that man stutter? Because of what I was wearing? Was barely wearing. Small beads of sweat broke out across my forehead.
I seriously wanted to cross my arms over my chest. Even though I was wearing clothes, the small amount of them combined with his lusty stare made me feel completely naked. And those dark dangerous eyes of his made me want to move closer to him. Shit. “You know what I think? I think you forget a lot of shit when I'm around.”
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered hoarsely, eyes still fixed on mine.
I lost all rational thought. Lost the use of my limbs and I was melting fast.
The mop slipped from my hands and clinked against the counter, averting my eyes from his. I tried pretending that those two pathetically simple words didn’t just cause my panties to leak a drip down my legs. “Beautiful,” I repeated flatly. That was the first time in my life a man called me that and it had to come from an asshole.
He moved toward me with intense purpose and power, dipping his head, forcing me…challenging me to keep eye contact with him.
Well, too bad. I turned my head away from his, looking past him, beyond him, as if he didn’t matter. Heat crept over my skin as he slowly inched closer to me and I turned to face him again, my eyes locked on his. There was something unnerving in his gaze, something dark, cold and alive there, begging to be warmed. His steel eyes fluttered slowly down to my lips and my pulse instantly started hammering through my veins. The closer he moved, the faster it pounded. Both his hands reached up and gently cupped my face, and he leaned forward laying his forehead tenderly against mine. “Yes. Beautiful. Stunning. Bewitching. Ravishing. Fucking angelic.” He smelled like the most expensive brandy money could buy, it was dizzying. I had no personal space left. He took it all, absorbed every last breath of it, almost knocking me to my knees.