Brute Force

'No you haven't. That applies to every village in Ireland.' She gave a little laugh. It was a rare thing, and sounded good.

'Everything OK?'

She looked down at her lap. 'Mind if I ask you something, Nick? There must be plenty of other ways you could have been spending Christmas. What would you normally do? Family?'

I shook my head. 'Telly and the microwave. You're doing me a favour.'

She hesitated. 'Thing is, Nick, I need to make sure we're clear about something—'

'I think we'd better stop right here.'

I pulled up outside a small mini-mart. It was only just past four but already getting dark. The shop window lights reflected off the pavement. The woman who looked after the cottage was going to stick a pint of milk and a few other basics in the fridge when she came in to air the place and make sure the immersion heater was on, but we had to buy everything else. I switched off the engine. 'She's still asleep. You stay. What's her favourite cereal and stuff?'

'Shouldn't I – I mean, if I'm cooking . . .?'

'This is your holiday. I'll do it. It's OK, there's a microwave. Prepare to be amazed. Man and machine in perfect harmony. Organic or ordinary?'

'What?'

'Baked beans.'

15

The hundred-year-old, two-storey stone farmhouse stood on a secluded twelve-acre site approached by a quiet tree-lined lane, two miles further on from a long, sweeping bay where huge Atlantic breakers pounded the shoreline. Tallulah seemed to find it all so beautiful I thought she was going to burst into tears.

'It's bigger than I was expecting . . . You said cottage.'

'Four bedrooms.'

She looked relieved, and I suddenly knew what she had been worrying about.

I turned away and took in the view. There was nothing but fields and hills as far as the eye could see. Not another building in sight, not even a barn. The house was surrounded by trees and blackberry bushes. The ground itself looked peaty with long grass and heather between rocky outcrops.

Ruby climbed out of the car. As if on cue, a couple of rabbits scampered into view to complete the fairy tale.

A big white porch led to the front door. I retrieved the key from under a flower pot, turned the lock in the heavy oak door and ushered Ruby and Tallulah inside.

I followed them into a large kitchen with exposed ceiling beams. I put the kettle on the hot Aga. There was an old oak table and chairs, and a dresser that looked as ancient as the house, but also all the mod cons: fridge/freezer, dishwasher, washing machine, tumble dryer. And I was pleased to see there really was a microwave.

The snug living room had an open fireplace with a stack of turf next to the hearth and a dark mahogany parquet floor covered with bright rugs. Comfy-looking armchairs and a huge sofa completed the picture.

There was a separate dining room with oil lamps and antique mahogany furniture. Glazed double doors opened onto the back garden.

'You two go bag the best rooms and I'll unload the car.'

I was going to leave them to it but Tallulah followed. 'Ruby can explore.'

We went back into the kitchen and I switched on more lights. It was only then that I spotted the flowers on the table, and a bottle of wine and a card. Tallulah opened it.

'It's from Dom!' She was thrilled. 'This is Dom's place? I should have guessed as soon as you said Donegal!'

'Friends in high places.' I was rather pleased with myself.

'All the time we knew them, Pete always said we'd visit and we never . . .'

Her head dropped. A tear rolled down her cheek. I never knew what to say or do at times like this. Arranging the trip was the best I could manage.

'Thank you. It's lovely. I want to make sure you know this. Things are hard for us right now and I really appreciate everything you're doing . . .' She paused. She fidgeted.

'Sounds like there's a bit of a but on its way?'

'But . . .' She smiled. '. . . it's just that, please, you mustn't worry about treading carefully. Everybody we know is still being so kind and understanding. I didn't realize how much I needed to get away from the . . . the . . . the whole widow thing. Do you know what I mean?'

I sort of nodded.

'Thank you. I don't want you thinking you have to secondguess us the whole time and wrap us up in cotton wool. This should be your holiday too.'

I spent longer than I needed to outside, and when I came back with my arms full of gear she was gone. I dumped it all on the floor. It took several more trips until the car was empty, and by then the kitchen looked like a bomb had hit it.

Tallulah reappeared. She'd composed herself. I helped her ferry their stuff – which meant everything apart from my small holdall – to the two rooms Ruby had bagged. Both were upstairs.

Tallulah had a big double with an old panelled ceiling. Ruby had the single next to it. They also had the only bathroom.

'And what have you picked for me, Ruby? The barn?'

She pointed downstairs. 'It's nice. There's a basin.'

16

I tipped out my holdall on the double bed and studied the badly wrapped parcel. I wondered if I'd bought the right thing.

It was strange to think of myself having a family Christmas – if you could call it that. First, because it wasn't my family. Second, because my own family's Christmases had been a nightmare. My stepdad would get pissed the night before and come home and beat up my mum. The presents were normally clothes for school, and the dinner was always crap because my mum would be in shit state. The only good bit was not having to go to school.

I threw my few clothes into a chest of drawers and listened to the sound of laughter drifting downstairs. They had lost a partner and a father, but they still had each other. I had no one, male or female; no friends, let alone a partner. I hadn't been lying. They were doing me a favour. At least this trip meant I got to talk to someone normal for a few days.

'Nick?'

Tallulah stood in the doorway.

'One other thing . . .' She didn't quite know where to look. 'It's just that I don't want you to think this can go beyond friendship . . . for now, anyway. Everything is still very raw . . .'

'That's not why I'm here.' I edged past her into the corridor. 'Fancy a brew?'

Her eyes suddenly sparkled and I felt her breath on my cheek. 'At the same time, Nick, don't run away from it.'

'Milk and sugar?'

As I disappeared to the kitchen, I heard her laugh out loud for the very first time.

17

I woke up early. It was still dark outside but I could tell the weather was going to be against us. Rain splattered the window. This was more like the Ireland I knew. I liked it. I'd had some good Christmases here in the army.