Jonah Geller: armed and ridiculous.
As I neared the end of the corridor, I could hear shoes scuffing against a tile floor. I peered around the corner to my left. Stockwell and the Suit had made no progress getting Jenn outside. The three of them were grappling in the hall. Stockwell’s chignon was coming apart and the Suit had a fresh welt on the bridge of his nose. When the Suit heard me coming, he squared himself to face me and reached into his jacket. Stockwell, suddenly without her tag-team partner, bolted out the open door onto the lawn with Jenn in hot pursuit. I whipped the bedpan at the Suit like a discus as he yanked a small automatic from his waistband. It caught him flush on the crown, where any cut bleeds like an oil find. Blood squirted straight up in the air and down into his eyes. I moved in and twisted the pistol out of his hand, then drove my knee into his solar plexus. He gasped and fell over in a fetal position. I ejected the magazine and pocketed it, ejected the round that was in the chamber and pocketed that too, wiped the pistol with my shirttail and dropped it in a wastebasket across the hall.
Out on the lawn was a sight to see. Jenn had Stockwell face down on the ground, rubbing her face in the sod. The cream silk suit was taking on a grassy hue. Stockwell was trying to push herself up off the ground but I didn’t like her chances, not against my Estonian wonder girl.
No matter how much dirt Stockwell deserved to eat, it was time to go. The Suit and Big John were out of it but the Melonhead was still on the grounds somewhere. I pulled Jenn off Stockwell and we ran to the parking lot. We got into the car and peeled out just as the Melonhead came barrelling out of a side entrance, setting off an insistent alarm. I couldn’t tell whether there was a gun in his hand but I assumed there was and shouted to Jenn to keep her head down.
We got out of there without a single shot being fired.
CHAPTER 15
After dropping Jenn at the office, I drove home to shower and change out of my bloody clothes. Then I headed out to the Med-E-Mart to see Jay Silver in his work habitat. I took Broadview north until it became O’Connor, then crossed the Don Valley on the Leaside Bridge. I had the windows down and Uncle Tupelo blasting through its live version of “We’ve Been Had” when my cellphone rang. I looked at the caller ID, lowered the sound, raised the windows and mustered my chipperest voice. “Hi, Ma.”
“Everything okay, dear?”
“Sure. Why?”
“I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“We spoke last week.”
“Are we down to once a week now?”
“Come on, Ma. The last three times I called, you weren’t home.” A call to a Jewish mother must count whether she is there to answer or not. Elsewhere madness lies.
“When were these alleged calls?” she asked. “Give me days and times, mister. Let’s see how your story stands up.”
“Tuesday suppertime. Friday around seven. Sunday afternoon.”
“Tuesday, I was at the museum,” she said. “They had a members-only preview of the new Chinese ceramics exhibit. It hasn’t even gone to New York yet-we got it first. Friday was Shabbas dinner with the Golds. It’s one meal I hate to eat alone, and both you and Daniel were busy. Maybe this week you’ll come to me.”
“We’ll see.”
“Which means you won’t. And Sunday… Sunday I had a board meeting at shul,” she said. “Did I tell you I was re-elected president of the sisterhood?”
“Of course you did. I congratulated you effusively, as I recall.”
“All right,” she said. “So your story checks out. Doesn’t mean you can’t call more often but at least you tried. So how are you, dear? How’s your arm?”
“It’s fine, Ma. A hundred per cent.”
“I’m so glad.”
“You don’t sound glad.”
“Well, it’s just that if it’s healed, you’ll be going back out in the field, no?”
“Yes.”
“And the last time you were in this field of yours, you got shot.”
“Ma…”
“I saw you in that hospital bed, Jonah, and my heart was in pieces. It took so long for Daddy and me to conceive Daniel, we never thought we’d have another baby. When you came along, it was like a miracle. That’s why we made your middle name Nathaniel.”
Gift from God, it meant. Some gift. She was probably checking the returns policy as we spoke.
“All the women at the office, at shul, at the golf club, at openings, their sons either treat gunshot wounds or at least defend the ones who do the shooting.”
“Can we not veer into career advice?”
“Who’s veering? But you were such a clever child, every bit as smart as your brother, and from where I sit you’re still struggling.”
“So change seats. Pretend we’re in a restaurant and they sat you near the kitchen.”
“You probably don’t remember but we had you tested in Grade 3 and your IQ was exceptional.”
I didn’t remember the test but had no trouble recalling the thousands of times she had brought it up since.
“Your teachers always said, ‘Jonah is so bright, he just doesn’t apply himself.’”
“Well, I’m applying myself now.”
“To what? Really, dear, to what?”
“I like what I’m doing and I’m making a living.”
“Darling, a one-bedroom apartment and a used car is not a living. You have to admit, I never pushed you to choose a traditional profession. I gave you plenty of latitude, especially after Daddy died. True?”
“True.”
“I told you if you wanted to try the arts or something like that I would back you as long as…?”
“As long as I worked my butt off. Which I am doing, by the way.”
“I just want you to be happy, Jonah. Happy and safe.”
“Don’t worry. It’s a very simple case.”
“No gangsters?”
“No gangsters.” Not that I was going to tell her about.
“So are we on for Shabbas?”
Hmm. Shabbas. Friday night. What would I be doing that night? Throwing myself in front of a bullet meant for Lucas Silver?
“Can I let you know?”
“Yes. I’ll see if Daniel is free. And it wouldn’t hurt you to call him either. When’s the last time you spoke?”
“Not that long ago.” Or not long enough, depending on where you sat.
“Call me when you get home so I know you’re safe.”
“Just today or every day?”
“Some boys call their mothers every day.”
“There’s a name for them.”
“Smartass,” she said.
“No, that’s not it.”
I thought we were done but she said, “One more thing.”
What? A Jewish Beauty’s phone number?
“Are you coming to the Rally for Israel?”
First Mitchell, now my mother.
“You really should make the effort. Connect with the community a little. See some old friends. Things are terrible in Israel, today, and not so good for Jews in plenty of other places. We have to show solidarity.”
“I did my part for Israel, Ma.”
“That was a long time ago, dear.”
Not long enough.
I find it funny sometimes that our parents named us Daniel and Jonah, two men who are so sorely tested in the Old Testament. Maybe they were preparing us in a way for the trials that attend life as a Jew in a non-Jewish world. When we were kids, Daniel once told me, “If Mom and Dad had had another son, they would have named him Job.”
The Bible says Jonah was ordered by God to go to Nineveh and tell the sinners there to repent or face His destruction. Because the people of Nineveh were enemies of the Hebrews, Jonah didn’t see why they should be saved. Instead of heeding God’s word, he boarded a ship bound in the opposite direction. Displeased by Jonah’s disobedience, God whipped up a deadly storm that would not abate until the terrified crew cast Jonah into the sea. Jonah was swallowed by a monstrous whale and spent three days in its belly before he was spat back onto land with another chance to complete his mission. In the end Jonah learns that everyone-enemy or not-is entitled to salvation.