A shrug. “I’m pretty busy, Trub.”
I broke into this strange girltalk. I had a lot of questions, but what I’d just heard sorted one in particular to the top of the pile. “You’ve been out there?”
Roberta nodded. “Yeah.”
“And you came back here?”
“Man, can’t slip nothing past you, can we?”
Trub laid a hand on my shoulder. “Sorry, we shouldn’t bust your chops like this. Think of it as an occupational hazard.”
“Yeah,” Roberta agreed glumly. “Like getting shot at and shat on.” She shook her head. “If it weren’t for the glamour I might just start getting dissatisfied.”
Trub faced me squarely, her expression turning serious. “Here’s the deal, Glyph. You’re being offered a job.”
“With the NYPD?” I said uncertainly.
Roberta shook her head. “Somehow I don’t see you fitting into dress blues.”
“That’s good. I don’t see me being a cop either.”
“Affinity,” Trub said. “I’ve kept mentioning it, right?”
“More than once.”
“Well?”
I tried to figure out what she was getting at. Only one idea came to mind, one that had to be wrong. I wasn’t going to just blurt it out, but sneak up on it.
“I ended up following you around to see what your job involves…”
An expectant stare. “And?”
“To see if I could do it too?”
“Damn,” Roberta drawled. “He is smarter than he looks. A good thing too.”
“Wait a minute,” I said, holding up my hands. “This is crazy. I’m not a cop. I’ve never been a soldier. I’m a posto!”
Trub shook her head. “You don’t need to have worn a uniform. What you need is a sense of right and wrong and a willingness to pitch in when bad stuff seems to be getting the upper hand. An unease with authority. An ability to think fast and talk even faster.” She glanced at Roberta. “The siege of High Vista is over. This guy scammed Cyrus Crook and his merry band of dickheads into going chasing after an imaginary giant wishing well. Things got a bit out of control when he tried to deal with Sarah and her girls, but he done good. My advice, don’t play poker with him.”
“But things did get out of control,” I protested. “That one woman nearly got me. I’m not strong or tough like either of you. Let’s face it, I’m the least macho one here.”
“Hey,” Trub said, “we all have limitations. Me, I have to work hard to keep myself from kicking ass first and asking questions later. You, on the other hand, need to work on your head-knocking skills.”
“That’s where I come in,” Roberta said. “You’re going to be my student for a while. I’ll teach you basic police skills. Tactics. Self-defense. Weapons and hand-to-hand combat. When I’m done with you there’s a chance you might be half as bad as Trub or me. Not much of one, but we’ll try.”
“I still don’t get it,” I said. “Why aren’t you on the Hoop working with Trub? Didn’t you like it out there?”
The policewoman smiled. “I liked it just fine. It’s just I still have work to do down here. Part of that work is helping move along people who ought to find their way out there. I figure working here a few more years, then going up permanently rather than commuting.”
Every time I thought I had a handle on the situation it turned to soap in the shower. “Commuting?”
“Sure. I have an apartment in Soho, and a little hideaway in a sparsely inhabited segment. Can you believe it? I get better phone reception in the Hoop than here in Queens.”
“So am I going to be here, there, or where?”
“Both,” Trub said. She stuck out her hand. I took it. “I gotta run. See you somewhere down the rabbit hole, right?”
“Uh, sure. Thanks, I guess.”
“You’re welcome.” She called for transport, stepped through the door that appeared, vanished.
“Well, stud,” Roberta said, “you’ve had one mind-fuck of a day, haven’t you? Chased, shot, beamed to the Hoop to hang with Trub, and now dumped on my doorstep.”
“I sure have.” Her recap reminded me of the problems that had sent me into the Bug Trap. “What about the Chrome Lords? And your friends on the force? How am I going to hide from them?”
“Won’t need to.” She gestured toward the white ring on one finger. I realized that she was wearing one too. “Thanks to the tech in that thing, even your own mother wouldn’t recognize you. But you do have to drop that handle.”
“Any suggestions? Just don’t say kid. Or stud.”
“We’ll figure out something. One other thing. I think you had better stop with the posto.”
I shook my head. “Not happening. In fact…”
I pulled out my Rollox, whipped up a quick wordup. Synched it with my dipstick. Pointed that at the nearest wall.
Ka-whuff! It blasted out a cloud of nano-ink, slapping a posto.
The message, in ornate letters a foot high, read: Venus needs YOU and YOU need Venus!
“Well?” I said.
“Needs work,” she said. “Come on, Tonto, we got no end of things to get done.”
I nodded and followed the policewoman back out onto the city streets. I fingered the white ring Trub had given me.
Roberta was right. There was more to do than I’d ever guessed, in more places than I’d ever imagined.
I was caught in the Bug Trap for good now.