„Right. I… you…“ She flushed again, profoundly disconcerted that he knew her so well. All of her, so well. He smiled at her kindly.
„I’m not your conscience, Charlotte. I don’t judge your fantasies or evaluate the legitimacy of your dreams or wishes. To me, they simply are what they are. I wouldn’t exist without them.“
„So why aren’t you more like a hologram or a ghost or something then? If you’re just a bunch of my memories and thoughts and… and desires. Why do you seem so real to me?“
„Because I am real to you.“ When he could see she still didn’t quite grasp it, he took another track. He stopped and turned toward her. „Close your eyes.“
„No. What if someone sees me standing here alone, in the middle of the sidewalk, with my eyes closed? You might as well hang a Mug Me sign on my back.“
„Okay. Over here then, behind this potted shrub. Lean back against this building and close your eyes like you’re just catching your breath. Thisil only take a second. Close them and don’t peek.“
She leaned her head back against the brick wall and did as he told her. Immediately, she smelled bacon and could hear it sizzling in a pan.
More magic.
„Mmm. We love bacon, don’t we, Charlotte?“ She nodded blindly. „You want a bite?“ She nodded again – in for a penny. „Open your mouth, then open your eyes.“
She did both, only to find his fingers empty. She snapped her lips shut.
„Disappointed.“ He identified her primary emotion as he smoothed the backs of his knuckles slowly down her left cheek. „But you get the idea. The smell and the sound, they weren’t real either. But your memories of them are strong enough to make your mouth salivate. Your desire to believe made the bacon real enough for you to open your mouth for it. Just like your desire to believe that someone like me exists makes me real enough for you to feel my fingers on your cheek.“
It was a heavy concept inside her head, like God and black holes and why glue doesn’t stick to die inside of the bottle. Things she accepted on faith alone. Her temples were starting to throb. It was more than she could assimilate all at once.
She pushed away from the building and started for home again. She needed to think… alone.
„You know,“ he said, dropping casually into step with her – seeming as comfortable out of her head as he was, apparently, inside it. „Maybe we could stop and buy a GQ magazine on our way home. We could browse through, see if I’m a shirt-and-tie guy, or more like a Marlboro Man, huh? We could pick up a Glamour and Cosmopolitan, too. I’m very in touch with your feminine side but it doesn’t hurt to stay current. Tomorrow we can do some shopping and maybe – “
„Hey,“ she said, cutting him off as she spotted Mrs. Kludinski getting out of a car in front of their building. Her neighbor turned and bent at the waist to speak to the driver, with one small shopping bag in hand. „Don’t start making a lot of plans, okay? Especially the we kind. I’m not sure I like you. I’m not sure I want you around. I’m not even sure I’m really awake here, so back off. Go…“ She flipped her fingers as if to shoo away a fly. „Go… wherever you go when you’re not around. I need to think.“
„About me?“ he asked smugly. Then she recalled she had to stop thinking about him to get rid of him. „Don’t worry, Charlotte, Mrs. Kludinski can’t see me, remember?“
„I can see you,“ she said through her clenched teeth, barely ten feet from her neighbor.
He hastened his pace to the front of the car and groaned. „It’s Lacey. Looks like her husband bought her another new car. Brace yourself, sweetheart.“
„Charlotte.“ Mrs. Kludinski caught sight of her and straightened out of the car with a smile. The elderly lady had been a widow for as long as Charlotte could remember. Social and friendly, she’d always made her feel like a special friend.
„Hi, Mrs. Kludinski. If this is Tuesday, that must be Lacey. Did you have a nice afternoon? Is this a new car?“ She stepped into the street and over to the open car door. „Hello, Lacey.“
A year behind Lacey Kludinski in school, Charlotte always thought her dark good looks were exotic rather than uncommonly beautiful. She was a popular cheerleader in high school and married a young doctor the year after she graduated from college with a degree in interior design – which she used solely to decorate her own home on Bain-bridge Island. She was and had everything Charlotte wasn’t and didn’t – and couldn’t be happier about it. Or more vocal about it.
„Oh, hi, Charlotte. Don’t you just love it? Come feel this, real leather on these seats. Soft as butter. Sad thing is, we’ll just have to trade it in next year for another new car because the humidity out on the Island is so hard on cars, you know. I swear, if I hadn’t married a doctor, I don’t know how we’d keep up with everything. It’s just one thing after another, I’m telling you. So, how are you? Seeing anyone special yet?“
Charlotte smiled at her. Something inside her always wanted to think the best of Lacey. Really. She’d always been so nice to her aunt – tins of cookies and brownies in high school, Tuesday afternoon lunches and shopping trips since then. Lacey had a good side. Somewhere.
„What. A. Boob.“ Mel placed two big, hot hand prints on the shiny hood of Lacey’s new car.
„I’m fine and no I’m not,“ she said quickly, thinking she should go inside before Mel did something embarrassing. „I mean, I’ve been sort of busy and…“
„Her father passed away last week,“ Mrs. Kludinski injected.
„That’s right. You told me. I’m sorry, Charlotte.“
„Thanks.“
„I bet she’s wishing her aunt would take the hint and follow him.“ Mel stuck his finger in his mouth, wetting it, then doodled on the hood with it. „Your father was right about her being a gold digger, you know. She wouldn’t give this nice old lady a bucket of bad luck, if she couldn’t pay for it.“
„All the more reason to keep your eyes open for a good catch,“ Lacey said, diligently. „I still think you ought to let me look into hooking you up with someone from my husband’s hospital. He knows several male nurses, and most of them aren’t even gay. A couple of them don’t even act gay. You don’t want to end up old and alone, do you?“
„Like your aunt, you twit?“ But even before Mel said it, Charlotte felt the slightest stiffening in Mrs. Kludinski’s posture and felt bad for her. Felt bad for them both really.
„There are worse things than old and alone, Lacey, but… thanks. And I will keep my eyes open. You drive safe now.“ She turned, stepped back onto the sidewalk and walked over to the steps of her building while Mrs. Kludinski said good-bye. Mel joined her, a derisive scowl on his magnanimous face.
The three of them watched the big, silver-colored Cayenne drive away.
„Well, her brain is the size of a pea and her heart is even smaller,“ Mrs. Kludinski announced as she turned around. „But she’s real careful with her big fancy cars so she’s a good, safe driver and she’s cheaper than a taxi. Besides, I just wouldn’t feel right about leaving her all my money if I didn’t think she’d earned at least part of it. Wouldn’t be good for her character.“
Charlotte chuckled silently. The old woman started up the four shallow steps and Charlotte followed her… and Mel followed her, ignoring her scowl and the hand she kept waving him away with.