I led my old friend down the hall to the entrance to my secret lair in the basement. “I’m sorry to drag you all the way out here, especially since I only need just a tiny bit to dilute Ryan’s blood so I can sleep again. I actually feel exhausted, but I couldn’t sleep now no matter how hard I tried.”
“I don’t mind,” he said. “Things have been quiet recently. With Danaus now here permanently, I was beginning to think you wouldn’t have much use for me any longer. Well, at least not beyond that occasional donor.”
I stopped when we reached the bottom of the steps and quickly spun around. I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace, rubbing my head against his hard jaw. “You are more than a source of blood for me. You are and always will be my personal guardian, my guardian angel. Yes, I have Danaus now, but I still need you to watch over me during the day. If you want to leave me and find another life, then I understand and wish you the best. I will support you in any way I can, but I am not trying to push you out of my life.”
Gabriel wrapped his strong arms around me, one hand rubbing up and down my back for a moment. “I just didn’t feel needed any longer.”
I gazed up into his chocolate brown eyes and touched his soft brown hair, brushing it away from his forehead. “You protect me during the day. There is no greater task when it comes to a nightwalker.”
“Thank you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to my temple. “Since Michael was killed and the deaths of Lily and Tristan, I thought you might try to push me away as a way of protecting me.”
“I can’t. You’re one of the last few members of my family.”
Gabriel nodded and released me as I dropped my hands. I led him to my private chamber and let him sit on the edge of the bed with me. We talked about the recent development with Matsui while we waited for the sun to finish its final descent beneath the horizon. Gabriel promised to begin his search for a new bodyguard to help him watch over me. I hated the first few months of trusting someone new to the job, but I trusted Gabriel with my life and knew that he would not let anyone dangerous near me during the daylight hours. He would find someone trustworthy. In the end, Matsui had been my choice because I was curious about someone who already knew about nightwalkers. I had made the mistake, not Gabriel.
After the sun set, I leaned in and gently withdrew what amounted to only a few sips of his blood before I closed the wound. I was still full from gorging myself on Ryan’s blood and only needed a bit to counteract his blood’s ability to keep me awake during the day.
“That’s it?” Gabriel asked when I stood again.
“Yeah, you should be careful. You could be a little woozy,” I teased.
He gave a derisive snort as he pushed back to his feet with ease. “I’ve given more blood for a cholesterol test, Mira.”
“I know. I’m sorry I wasted your time.”
“It wasn’t a waste. You needed me and that was enough,” he said, squeezing my arm. “Besides, this will give me a chance to check over the outside security lights and other fixtures. I haven’t looked them over in a couple of weeks. Get some sleep. I’ll be around during the day.”
I looked up to see Danaus enter the sparring room at the same time Gabriel left my private room. Gabriel nodded his greeting to the hunter, but Danaus didn’t acknowledge him as he kept his focus on me. A frown pulled at the corner of his lips and his eyes were dark with anger.
“I told him about Matsui,” I started when we were alone. “He’s going to start looking for someone to replace him so I’ll have two trustworthy guardians again.”
“You mean blood donors,” Danaus said in a sharp voice.
“No, Gabriel isn’t just a blood donor for me. He is my bodyguard as well. He watches over me during the daylight hours,” I said, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu.
“You have me for that.”
“You need to sleep at some point. You would be awake guarding me during the day and staying up all night so we could be together. You can’t live like that,” I argued, flopping back down on the edge of the bed. “What is this all about? You’ve never had a problem with Gabriel before.”
“Why isn’t my blood good enough for you?” he finally demanded after a lengthy silence.
My mouth bobbed open and closed a couple times like a fish gasping for air. He couldn’t have said anything that would have left me more speechless. “You don’t want me to feed off you.”
“You never asked.”
“You give me a dirty look every time either one of us mentions that I need to feed. I’ve cut back on my feeding habits just to accommodate you.”
“Maybe I’m not comfortable with the idea of you being in such an intimate position with all these men.”
“Then I’ll only feed from women.”
“Are you still sleeping with Gabriel?”
“No! How can you ask that? You know that you’re the only one in my life.”
“Am I? Before me there was Michael and Gabriel and Valerio and God only knows how many other men.”
“Yes, there have been other men in my life. I’m six hundred years old and I’ve refused to live the life of a hermit, but you’re the only one in my life now, and I want it to stay that way for a very, very long time.”
Danaus drew in a deep breath, a frown still lingering on his lips as he stared at me. “You still haven’t answered my question. Why isn’t my blood good enough for you?”
I stood, walked over to my lover and placed my hands on either side of his face, allowing my thumbs to caress his high, sharp cheekbones. “Is that what you want? Do you want me to bite you?”
“Would it bring us closer together?”
I closed my eyes and dropped my forehead against his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat.
“I’ve seen you when you drink from Gabriel,” he continued in a softer voice. “It’s different. You’re not just feeding from him. There’s a different kind of intimacy there. Something that we don’t have.”
“My love,” I whispered before looking up at him. I dropped my hands down to grasp one of his. I led him over to the bed and pushed him down so he sat on the edge while I kneeled between his legs. “Danaus, I love you with everything that I am. If I were human, I would marry you and give you my children. I would grow old with you. I would give you my forever.”
“But you won’t feed off me.”
“Yes, I won’t feed off you, even if you ask me to. I have two very important reasons. One is your bori blood. I don’t know what the impact of it would be on me. What if it’s worse than what Ryan’s blood does to me? What if I can’t stop and I hurt you? What if I hurt others because of it? Neither one of us could live with that. I don’t want to take the chance if I can find other ways of surviving.”
“And the second reason?”
“You are my everything. I want to keep you above such things as being a source of food for me. I want to keep you spoiled and untouched by my kind. I want no one to touch you. You are so much more to me and this world than a source of blood. You are a great man and a great warrior. No one should ever touch you in such a way, particularly me.”
“Why particularly you?”
“Because I am not a good person and never will be. I will not soil you. I’ve been blessed by the love that you’ve given me, and I will not ask for anything more. I need nothing more than that.”
Danaus leaned down and took my mouth in a sweet kiss that brought tears to my eyes. Taking both of my hands, he gently helped me back to my feet as he stood as well. With infinite care, he slowly undressed me while I pulled off his clothes. My hands danced over his body, memorizing the texture, color, and scars I found. I wanted to remember everything about him so that when I closed my eyes each morning, I could see him clearly in my mind.
When we were both naked, he lifted me into bed and proceeded to slowly make love to me with a gentleness I had never felt before. It was as if it were both our first and last time together. When we kissed, I wanted to cry, and when he touched me, my heart sang out.