The guy stared at the tape, stammered, “The fuck am I gonna do with this?”
Bobby smiled, not giving a shit, and said, “Stick it up your ass, loser.”
And then he continued up the block, cursing to himself and at the people he passed. Nine ways to Sunday, Bobby Rosa had attitude, or in the current buzz jargon, he had issues.
When he got back to his apartment on Eighty-ninth and Columbus, Bobby went right to the second bedroom, which he had turned into a darkroom, and started developing the film. The three chicks in a row came out great, but the pictures of the black babe were Bobby’s favorites. Somehow the woman reminded him of his old girlfriend, Tanya.
Bobby added the tit shots to the collection in his bedroom. He had three walls covered with Central Park boobs, taken during the past two springs and summers. He had all shapes and sizes – implants, flat chests, sagging old ladies, training-bra teenagers – it didn’t matter to him. Then he had an idea, and said out loud, “ The Hot Chicks of Manhattan. ” It had a nice ring to it; he could see it as a coffee table book. He could make a few bucks on the side and it was kind of classy too. Rich assholes would have it out right next to their champagne and caviar. Then, laughing to himself, he took the ass shots and added them to his collection in the bathroom. Next, he went to his shelf, grabbed another tape, The Best of Poison. Letting “Talk Dirty To Me” rip, he leaned back in his wheelchair, admiring his work. He bet, if he wanted to, he could sell his pictures to some classy art magazine, one of those big, thick mothers you have to hold with two hands.
After a few more minutes of staring at the walls, Bobby looked at his watch. It was 2:15. He realized it was past his usual time for his bowel routine. So he went into the bathroom and transferred himself onto the bowl. As he dug his index finger into the jar of Vaseline he laughed out loud, asked, “This suck or what?”
About twenty minutes later, Bobby called the lobby and asked the doorman to send a maintenance guy up to his apartment. When the little Jamaican guy arrived, Bobby asked him to take out a big box from the back of his hallway closet.
“I thought you had a problem with your shower?”
“Yeah, well I don’t,” Bobby said.
He was a strong little guy, but the box was so heavy it took all his strength to carry it a few feet. He was out of breath.
“What the fuck do you have in there?”
“Oh, just some old clothes,” Bobby said, handing him a crisp twenty-dollar bill.
When the guy was gone, Bobby opened the box, tearing off the layers of masking tape. Finally, he got it open and removed the bubble wrap, getting a head rush when he saw his weapons. He had three sawed-off shotguns, a couple of rifles, a MAC-11 submachine pistol, two Uzis, some smaller guns, and a gym bag filled with boxes of ammo. No two ways about it – you got hardware, you got juice. Suddenly the world took on a whole other perspective: Now you called the fucking shots. Poison were into “Look What the Cat Dragged In” and he thought, Man, this is it, guns and rock ‘n’ roll.
He took one of his favorite handguns out of the box, a. 40 millimeter Glock Model 27 compact pistol. The “pocket rocket” didn’t pack the power of a shotgun or a Mag, but he loved the black finish. Holding a gun again gave Bobby the same buzz that it always did. The only thing better was firing one, feeling that explosion of power coming out of his body. He’d had a lot of women in his time, but given the choice between a woman and a gun he’d take the gun. It didn’t talk back and it got the job done, plus, it made you feel like a player and you didn’t have to reassure the motherfucker.
Aiming out the window, Bobby zeroed in on a pigeon that was sitting on the ledge of a building across the street. He felt the muscles in his index finger starting to twitch. He’d always been a great shot, practicing on the range down on Murray Street in between hold-ups. “Bang,” he said out loud, imagining the bullet exploding through the bird’s brain.
Bobby was sweating. He wheeled into the bathroom and splashed cold water against his face, then he stared at himself in the mirror. This was happening a lot lately – looking in the mirror, expecting to see a young guy, but seeing an old man instead.
He muttered, “How’d that happen?”
He used to have thick black hair, but lately his forehead seemed to be getting bigger and bigger, and he had more gray in his hair now than black. He’d grown a beard over the winter, hoping it would make him look younger, but no luck there – it had come in mostly gray too. He used to only get wrinkles around his mouth when he smiled, but now he had them all the time, and the circles under his eyes were getting so dark it looked like he was going around with two permanent shiners. Although his arms and shoulders had gotten big from pushing himself around, his legs had shriveled up to almost nothing and he had put on a gut. Fucking brews, man – they kept you trucking but blew you out.
“What’re you gonna do?” he said.
Maybe forty-seven wasn’t old for some people, but it was old for a guy who’d spent fourteen years in prison, one year in Iraq, and three years in a fucking wheelchair.
It was time to get back to work.
Three
Angela Petrakos was raised in Ireland till she was seven and then her father packed them up, took her and her mother to America, saying, “Enough of this scraping and scrimping, we’re going to live the American dream.”
Yeah, right.
They wound up in Weehawken, New Jersey, living in what they call genteel poverty. “They” must be rich because Angela had never heard a poor person use words like that. Angela’s mother was a pure Irish woman – mean, bitter and stubborn as all hell. She called herself a displaced Irishwoman. When she said this, Angela’s father would whisper, “She means she hates dis place.” Her father was born in Dublin, but his family was Greek, from Xios. Angela’s Mom was from Belfast and constantly bitched about the huge mistake of marrying a Southerner with Greek longings. When Angela was a teenager, her mother went on and on about the glories of Ireland. All types of Irish music – jigs and reels, hornpipes and bodhrans – were shoved down Angela’s throat, and a huge green harp hung on the kitchen wall. Angela’s father, meanwhile, wasn’t allowed to play Theodrakis or any of the music he loved, and Angela never even heard Zorba’s Dance until she was twenty. When the micks lay down the rules, they’re laid in granite – it was no wonder they’d coined the phrase No surrender.
All the songs of rebellion, the history of the IRA, were drilled into Angela’s psyche. She was programmed to love the Irish and her plan was to go to the country and have an affair with Gerry Adams. Yeah, he was happily married, but that didn’t ruin her fantasy; actually, it fueled it. Despite her years in America, she had a slight Irish accent. She liked the way she spoke, was told she sounded “hot” by the older guys who tried to pick her up – they often succeeded – when she was in junior high and high school. She went to technical college and learned Excel and PowerPoint, but she knew her real talent was seduction. By the time she was twenty, she’d learned all about the power of sex.
She worked her way through the crappy jobs and a string of asshole boyfriends. Angela wasn’t pretty in the conventional sense but she knew how to use what she had and, by Jesus, she used it. She was medium height with brown eyes and brown hair, but she changed all that – went blond, went blue eyed, went wild. She got a boob job, contacts for her eyes and already had the attitude. Then her mother died and they cremated her – her father said he wanted her burned, “lest she return.” Angela got the ashes, kept them in an urn on her bookcase. When Angela’s Ashes came out she rushed out and bought the book, thinking it had to be some kind of sign or something. She didn’t bother reading it, but liked having it on her shelf. Other books she bought but never read included ‘Tis and A Monk Swimming. She also had some DVDs like Angela’s Ashes, Far and Away, and The Commitments. When it came to music, only the Irish stuff really did it for her – Enya, Moya Brennan and, of course, U2. She would’ve stepped on Gerry Adams to get to Bono.