"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Sam asked as they ascended into a new tunnel. Above and ahead, she could see some kind of light, like a beacon welcoming her into hell.
"What do you think, Miss Paranormalbuster? Use that expertise you're supposed to have."
Getting a damn good idea of what was going on, she tried to stop her shudder of revulsion and terror. "Ripley, I got news for you. Nobody rocks my world except Nic. That includes you and snake hair. I take it you're Nero's wolf, and you brought us here to lure us to our deaths."
"Bravely spoken, bitch—and you're right. You're soon to be stone-cold for eternity."
Unfortunately, Sam was afraid the wolfman was right. She had gotten in over her head, and the next few eons were going to be rocky ones.
Paper, Scissors, Meduse
The short tunnel ended, opening into a large cavernous room lit by lanterns, the kind used for camping. The roof of the cavern had been painted to imitate the night sky. Stars were marked on the ceiling in some kind of luminescent paint, as well as a large full moon. Sam could hear and see the trickle of water that ran down one cavern wall, draining into a small pool.
Below the fake sky was a small Greek pavilion made out of grimy white marble with round circular columns and steplike benches. A marble table was carved in the center, with cushioned chairs. The table-top had a plate of grapes, grape leaves and what looked like cheese: typical Greek and Roman fare.
Plastered against the walls were various posters of the Statue of Liberty wearing a bikini. Sam took a double-take at the defacement. Jeez! It was worse than if someone had magic-markered a fake moustache on her.
Shaking of her disgust, Sam rapidly took in the rest of the pavilion.
Statues of women of various sizes and shapes were everywhere, all frozen in sexual poses. They were scattered throughout. In the corner of the pavilion, a drape made of some shiny material curtained off the front of a room.
Sam gasped. Here was where Nero presided over his court of stone women. She was receiving a stiff welcome.
Stepping out from the curtained area, Nero appeared. He stared at Sam from about twenty feet away. In human form, without his full head of snakes, he was a remarkably handsome man. At the moment he wore only boxer shorts.
Sam was struck by this as the height of absurdity: A classical Greek godlike figure in a pair of boxers. Who would have thought old Mr. Snakehead would be into Fruit of the Loom.
Ripley yanked on her arm, trying to drag her forward. Sam lost her sense of humor. She was going to be a stone sacrifice? Well, this was certainly not another day in paradise. What could she do? She was fighting against the odds when she had just found love. And she did love Nic, with all her heart and all her soul. She couldn't die now!
"So, you have brought the pretty Paranormal-buster to me," Nero said as Ripley threw her golden sword upon the bottom step of the pavilion. "I am impressed—both by your getting the sword and the girl. Will the others follow?"
"Her lover, the werewolf prince," Ripley answered, his voice even more harsh and guttural than it had been. His hand on her arm was elongating, and Sam knew that soon Ripley would complete his transformation. She knew she didn't want to be nearby when he did.
"Fine. Perhaps, little one, I will place you and your lover together for all eternity, my monument to the Goddess Aphrodite."
"You mean you've killed all these people to prove your devotion to gods who have been dead, buried and forgotten for thousands of years? What planet are you from? You're a dirty rotten rock-for-brains!" she ended up shouting.
"Silence, infidel! Aphrodite will approve. She is still on Mount Olympus awaiting my tribute. We shall rule together."
"Aphrodite is nothing but a myth," Sam snarled. "All this trouble because of your myth conceptions."
"Silence, human!" Nero commanded. "You know nothing! Bring her to me, werewolf, so I may begin her immortality in stone."
The monster ripped off his boxers, sporting a doric column so big that Sam thought she was seeing things. Now she understood the expression, "hung like an ox." And Nero wasn't even a Minotaur!
"Talk about cock of the walk," she muttered to herself. No way was that getting anywhere near her. Still, what was a girl to do? She despaired momentarily, caught between the moon, New York City, a werewolf and a giant gorgon penis.
Yet, she couldn't die here and be trapped for eternity with her butt left to the breeze. So she wouldn't, she thought with grim resolution; she was determined to beat the odious odds.
Fingering the knife in her pocket, Sam reacted so quickly that Ripley never saw it coming: She rammed her four-inch iron knife into his upper eyelid. Years of training and experience were her aid, and her aim was true. Howling in pain and anger, the werewolf clutched his paws to his face, and Sam ran like hell in the opposite direction.
Glancing back, she saw that her blow hadn't been lethal to Ripley, but it would slow Nero's wolf down and keep him from transforming. He couldn't pull the iron out himself without searing his paws, so Nero would have to help him.
She wanted to rush for her sword, but Nero was close to it, and she wasn't about to tempt fate. "Don't let that werewolf bite me on the ass," she prayed as she ran. "There's someone who likes it just the way it is."
Running as hard as she could the way she'd come in, she ducked back out the short tunnel and into the main one, glancing around to check on her pursuers. Nuts! her mind screamed. Obviously gorgons were fast monsters—maybe due to that third leg he wanted to stick into her. Nero was only a few feet behind, his snakeheads hissing and his red eyes glaring. In spite of her life being on the line, Sam couldn't help but think he'd look better in braids.
Breathing hard, her heart racing, she suddenly heard the sounds of running paws and growling. "Thank you, God," she gasped in relief. Her Russian man was rushing in just in the nick of time.
Two hundred pounds of enraged werewolf knocked the gorgon off its feet. The snakes were hissing, wolves were howling, and a vampire was suddenly flying through the air with a golden sword. The noise in the tunnel was almost deafening. Sam lent her own scream to the proceedings, then leaned against the cavern wall to catch her breath.
Nero spun, and a snake almost caught Nic on his flank. Nic dodged.
Sam screamed again. "Look out, Nic! He's trying to put the bite on you!" In werewolf form, Nic dodged another hissing snake.
As Prince Varinski landed, Nero leaped toward him, intending to deliver the headbutt of the century. But the Prince was ready. Swinging his sword with all his considerable vampiric strength, he hit the gorgon just below the shoulder and severed an arm. Blood gushed out and the Meduse howled in furious pain.
Snarling and crouching, Nic was about to leap when he saw Ripley start to charge his cousin. Sam picked up a rock and threw it. As the missile struck Ripley's forehead, causing him to lurch backward and howl in pain, Nic took advantage, surging forward and knocking Ripley over, his jaws clamping tight on the wolfman's throat. Pulling hard, he finished the kill.
In the meantime, Prince Varinski had swung again, this time sweeping Nero's head clean off his shoulders. The head flew in one direction, while the body fell in another.
"Teamwork—impressive!" Sam managed to gasp in relief. Nic and his cousin had saved the day, and her too. Looking over at the mess that was Ripley's throat, she whistled. "Talk about taking a bite out of crime."
As. Nic transformed, Prince Petroff looked Sam over carefully. He said, "You're not hurt?"
Sam shook her head. "But I will say one thing, Prince V., your timing could use some work. Another minute and I would have been stone cold to your charm."
The Prince looked offended, but Nic, his transformation complete, threw back his head and laughed. "She's teasing you, Petroff!" he explained. Then he hurried to enfold Sam in his arms.