Closing out the file, Amanda pushed her chair back from the desk and stared at her shop. Standing, she made a slow circle around the new home of By the Book, a sense of satisfaction filling her.
She’d painted the room a deep forest green, which contrasted nicely with the pale hardwood floors and the pine shelves Shamus had built for her. Three walls were covered from ceiling to floor with empty shelves just waiting to be filled. The fourth wall held several wood and glass cabinets that had belonged to Seymour. They had sturdy locks and she would use them to house some of her more collectable books. The more valuable books were kept locked in the safe.
Even the structure of the house had changed. It had been Jonah’s suggestion to take out one of the windows in the new shop and add a door. That way, By the Book had an entrance separate from the rest of the house. Amanda had painted the door red and planned to have a sign made to place just above it.
Running her finger over her desk, Amanda tried not to think about Jonah. It would be easier to make herself stop breathing than it would be for her to stop thinking about him.
After the first time they’d made love, she’d expected him to have supper and then leave. But he’d stayed that night and every night since. They’d fallen into a routine of sorts as the days progressed, both of them working around the house. Sometime during the day, Jonah went to his place for a couple of hours to pick up clothes and to see his sister and niece. But other than that, they’d spent every waking hour together. At night, after they made love, she’d fall asleep with his arm curled around her.
That surprised her. She hadn’t expected him to spend all his nights with her. After all, they were just having an affair. It wasn’t as if they were in love or anything. She ignored the way that thought made her stomach clench and her heart pound.
Turning away from the desk, she walked to the new door and peered out. Situated on the far end of the house, it opened out onto the front veranda. She stared out and watched a car drive down the street. Her life was moving on exactly as she wanted, except for one small detail.
She’d allowed herself to fall in love with Jonah.
It had happened so quickly she hadn’t had time to erect any barriers around her heart.
Jonah had settled there and there was no getting him out. For better or worse, she was in love with the man. And she would never tell him.
He had made it more than clear from the beginning he wasn’t in this for the long haul. He hadn’t misled her. She’d misled herself by thinking she’d be able to keep her emotions out of their relationship.
Sighing, she turned away from the door.
“That’s a heavy sigh.” Jonah stood in the doorway, leaning against the jamb.
She shrugged and wandered over to the four boxes she’d lugged in from the other room. It was time to get the shelves loaded and her business open.
Jonah pushed away from the doorway and sauntered across the room. “I just finished the last of the work and everything is operational and up to code. The panel box for the electrical system is now in the utility closet in the kitchen. It’s more convenient there.”
Leaning down, he brushed a kiss across her cheek. “I even added a light switch at the top of the basement stairs in case you have to go down there for any reason.”
She’d told him how much she hated going down into the basement and he’d moved the panel box and added the light switch without her even having to ask. He did things like that without thinking about it. It was no wonder she’d fallen in love with him. She reminded herself for the hundredth time that he wasn’t staying. “That’s great. Just leave me the bill and I’ll be sure you get paid immediately. I really appreciate you doing this so quickly.”
Jonah frowned, his brows drawing together. “You don’t think I’m going to charge you for this, do you? Not now.”
It was her turn to frown. “What do you mean? Of course I’m going to pay you. That was our deal.” Jonah had done so much more this past week than just the electrical work.
He’d helped Shamus repair the drywall, and had helped install the new door to her store.
Besides that, he’d painted and generally helped out, doing anything that needed doing.
“That deal was made before I was sharing your bed.” He stood with his hands on his hips, a small smile playing at the corners of his mouth.
His glib answer made her see red and she took a deep breath to calm her temper before she replied. “One has nothing to do with the other. I don’t trade sex for work. I contracted you to do a job and I’ll pay the bill.” She might feel differently if they were an actual couple, but they were having an affair, not building a lasting relationship. Jonah had made it more than clear from the beginning that this was just about sex. Not to pay him for the work would cheapen their lovemaking and turn it into something else entirely.
“Damn it, Amanda. I didn’t say anything about trading sex for work.” He raked his hand through his hair. She tried not to notice how rugged and handsome he looked wearing work boots, jeans and a long-sleeved cotton T-shirt in a rich green that matched his eye color to perfection.
She crossed her arms over her chest to keep from reaching out to touch him. “Then there is no reason for you not to take the money, is there?” She had to remember that their relationship was purely a physical one and not a deep emotional connection. If she didn’t she was going to be hurt when it came to an end. She swallowed hard. Who was she kidding? It was going to break her heart when he finally left. All her life, she’d been the one to leave first. Since she already knew she wanted to be with him for as long as possible, she knew he’d be the one to call an end to this affair. This time, she would be the one left behind. Although she supposed it didn’t matter. The results were the same—
she’d be alone once again.
“You are one stubborn woman, you know that?” He put his hands on his hips and glared at her, his frustration palpable.
“Yeah, I know.” She tightened her arms around herself. Is this where he called it quits and decided he’d had enough of her? She wouldn’t beg him to stay. She had too much pride for that. But, oh, how she wanted their relationship to continue, even if it was just for a while longer.
And how sad was that? She straightened her spine. She was an independent woman and didn’t need a man to be happy. She didn’t need anyone. She had her business and a few good friends. Her life was full, with or without Jonah in it.
Huffing out a breath, he reached out and clamped his hands over her shoulders, pulling her close to him. “Come here.” His voice was gruff, but his touch was gentle as he pressed her head against his chest. “I’ll send you the damn bill.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah.” He pressed his lips against the top of her head and Amanda let out a sigh.
“Listen, I’ve got to go. I got a call about another job.” He pulled away and glanced down at his watch. “I should be back in time for supper.”
“You’re coming back?” He’d stayed with her all week, but there had been no new threats and the job here was done. She’d expected him to pack up the few belongings he had here and leave. Had been preparing herself for it.
His lips formed a thin line. “Of course I’m coming back.” He dropped his arms back by his sides and took a step away. “Unless you don’t want me to.”
Frustration filled her. She was no good at relationships. She couldn’t tell what Jonah wanted. Was he glad she was giving him an out or did he want to stay? Part of her wanted to push him away before she fell even more deeply in love with him than she already was. Another part of her wanted to hold on tight and hope he’d eventually come to love her back. Confusion filled her and she couldn’t think straight, so she threw his own words back at him. “You said this was just an affair. I thought you’d want to get back to your own life.”