“Maybe.” He propped his elbows on his knees and clasped his hands between his legs, staring at the wall in front of him. “I banked and invested most of my money.” He gave a small chuckle. “Well, Levi invested it. That man has a talent for making money on the stock market and he’s doubled my money more times than I can remember. I’m financially sound even if I never work again.”
“That’s good.” She propped herself against the headboard so she could see him better. Jonah wasn’t a man who shared himself easily. The fact that he was doing so now, making himself vulnerable to her, made her heart skip a beat. He was offering up a part of himself to her, a painful part, and he would only do that because he trusted her completely. It also meant he had feelings for her. For a man like Jonah, this was a big step. His face was set like stone as he continued.
“I inherited the house and the family business. I’m an electrician by trade, compliments of the military. I’m also an expert in weapons, explosives and hand-to-hand combat.”
“All handy skills.”
He gave a short bark of laughter and turned to her. “What I’m saying is that I’m no prize.” He rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, the motion stretching his T-shirt over his chest. Amanda ignored the distraction and concentrated on his face, trying to understand exactly what he meant. “I’m rough around the edges and that will never change.”
She nodded, not quite sure what he wanted her to say. To her he was simply Jonah, the man she’d come to love.
“It never mattered to me before.” He swiveled around to face her again. “I knew I’d never settle down, never marry.”
Amanda tried to ignore the pain in her heart. It hurt worse than either of the knife wounds she’d received. The cuts on her neck and cheek would heal. She was afraid the one on her heart never would. She understood what he was trying to tell her now.
He might care for her, might even love her, but he didn’t want anything permanent.
Maybe it was because of his military past, or the betrayal he mentioned. Whatever the reason, she had to accept it. This obviously wasn’t any easier for him than it was for her.
She could tell each word he spoke was painful for him.
“It’s okay.” Reaching out, she took one of his hands in hers. “I knew you weren’t looking to settle down when this started. You were perfectly honest with me.”
A low rumble rose from deep in his chest. “Amanda.”
“No.” She had to get through this quickly or she’d break down and cry. “I understand and I have no regrets. You don’t have to worry about letting me down easy or anything.
If you want to go, just go.” She bit the inside of her mouth to keep from crying. All she had to do was hold it together until Jonah left. Then she could bawl her eyes out.
“What if I want to stay?” His words were so low she almost didn’t hear him.
“What did you say?” Amanda wasn’t certain she’d heard him correctly. Was afraid to believe he meant anything beyond staying for the moment.
He shifted closer to her and cupped her cheek with his palm. “I don’t want to leave.”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. “Not now.” He dragged his tongue over her bottom lip. “Not ever.”
“Jonah?” Her heart rate had doubled in speed in the past ten seconds. She couldn’t manage to catch her breath. “What are you saying?”
The corners of his mouth tilted upward. “I know I shouldn’t ask you this now.
You’ve been through a trauma and you’re emotional. But damned if I’m not bastard enough to take advantage of that fact.”
“Ask me what?” If he didn’t get to the point soon, she was going to explode. She couldn’t take the suspense. Hope hovered just above the despair that had threatened to overwhelm her only moments before.
“I want to be with you now and forever. I’m no prize, but I’ll always be faithful to you, take care of you.” He brushed his thumb over her cheeks and down her nose. “No one will ever love you as much as I do.”
Her heart skipped a beat. She knew her mouth was hanging open, but she couldn’t manage to speak. Jonah loved her. It was hard for her to wrap her head around what she was hearing.
“You don’t have to give me your decision right now. Just think about it.” He dropped his hand from her face and stood.
“Jonah.” Her fingers released the death grip on her comforter and it slid to her waist.
She lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Oh, Jonah.” She wanted to say so much more, but her tongue wouldn’t work. Tears trickled out of the corners of her eyes and she sniffed.
“Are you crying?” He tilted her face up and swiped at her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “I’m sorry, sugar. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m a bastard. I told you I was rough around the edges.”
Her tears flowed faster. “I love you.” His hands froze on her face and she nodded. “I love you so much.”
“You’ve been under a lot of stress lately.”
She shook her head and laughed. “I’ve been under stress, but I’m not stupid, Jonah. I know my own mind. You’re strong, intelligent, honorable, stubborn, a little overbearing at times, and you make every cell in my body tingle.”
A slow smile crossed his face and he laughed. “All that. Overbearing, huh? I can see you’re under no illusions about me.”
She laughed. “I know that we’ll have our disagreements and that life won’t always run smoothly, but as long as we face our problems together, we’ll be okay.”
“Amanda.” He eased them both back down onto the bed and pulled her into his arms.
“How did I get so lucky?”
She snuggled closer to his chest. “I was smart enough to buy a house that had electrical problems.”
Jonah laughed and swooped down to capture her lips in a searing kiss.
For the first time in his life, Jonah felt a sense of total peace descend upon him.
Amanda’s lips parted, inviting him into her warmth. He didn’t hesitate, surging forward, he let his tongue tangle with hers. She tasted so fine, like an aged whiskey. He savored her unique flavor, rolling his tongue over every inch of the warm cavern of her mouth.
His arms tightened around her. He’d almost lost her tonight. That bastard Brown had almost killed her. He’d known the truth before, but he hadn’t truly understood the depths of his love for Amanda until the moment he’d seen the knife at her neck. She was his world. He’d have killed Brown in a heartbeat if he’d really hurt Amanda.
He’d known then that he had to tell her how he felt. It hadn’t been easy. He wasn’t the kind of man to go around spouting his feelings, but Amanda was different. It was easier to talk to her, to tell her things he wouldn’t tell anyone else.
Easing back, he gasped for breath as he absorbed every inch of her precious face. He loved everything about her, from her cinnamon-colored hair and freckles to her curvy shape. He loved the way she read the paper from back to front and always did the crossword puzzle. He loved the way she nibbled on her bottom lip when she was thinking about something. Heck, he even loved her stubborn streak and the way her chin jutted out when she was about to give him hell about something.
Her fingers feathered over his face and he closed his eyes, absorbing the tender care in her touch. Amanda was the most open and honest woman he’d ever met in his life. He knew deep down in his gut that she’d never betray him, never hurt him. She’d also make his life richer and a heck of a lot more interesting. Amanda was a challenge and she was the woman he’d been waiting for his entire life.
The past was over and behind him. Amanda was his future.
Need surged through him. He fought with the urge to strip her and make love to her.