Mentally, I got up and dusted myself off. It was time to put grief aside and get back to work. I set my wineglass down and had a brief word with Glen to let her know where I'd be and then I went upstairs and systematically searched Bobbys room. I wanted that little red book.
Chapter 13
I was operating, of course, on the hope that Bobby had hidden the address book somewhere on the premises. He said he remembered giving the book to someone, but that might not be true. There was no way I could search the entire house, but I could certainly comb a couple of places. Glen's study, maybe Kittys room. It was quiet upstairs and I was glad to be alone for a while. I searched for an hour and a half and came up with nothing. I wasn't discouraged. In some odd way, I was heartened. Maybe Bobby's memory had served him correctly.
At six, I wandered out into the corridor. I leaned my elbows on the balustrade that circled the landing and listened for sounds filtering up from below. Apparently, the crowd had diminished considerably. I heard smatterings of laughter, an occasional light conversational swell, but it sounded like most of the guests had departed. I retraced my steps and tapped on Kittys door.
Muffled response. "Who is it?"
"It's me. Kinsey," I said to the blank door. After a moment, I heard the lock retracted, but she didn't actually let me in.
Instead, she hollered, "Enter!"
Lord, she was tedious. I entered.
The room had been tidied and the bed was made, I'm sure through no effort of hers. She looked as if she'd been crying. Her nose was reddened, her makeup smeared. She was, of course, doing drugs. She had gotten out a mirror and a razor blade and was laying out a couple of lines of coke. There was a half-filled wineglass on the bed table.
"I feel like shit," she said. She had exchanged her gypsy outfit for a raw silk kimono in a lush shade of green with butterflies embroidered on the back and sleeves. Her arms were so thin she looked like a praying mantis, her green eyes aglitter.
"When are you due back at St. Terry's?" I asked.
She paused to blow her nose, not wanting to screw up her high. "Who knows?" she said, glumly. "Tonight, I guess. At least 1*11 have a chance to pack some of my own clothes to take with me. Shit, I ended up on the psycho ward with nothing."
"Why do you do this stuff Kitty? You're playing right into Kleinert's hands."
"Terrific. I didn't know you came up here to lecture me."
"I came up to search Bobby's room. I'm looking for the little red address book he asked you about last Tuesday. I don't suppose you have any idea where it might be."
"Nope." She bent over, using a rolled-up dollar bill like a straw, her nostril forming a little vacuum cleaner. I watched the coke fly up her nose, like a magic trick.
"Can you think who he might have given it to?"
"Nuh-un." She sat back on the bed, pinching her nose shut. She wet her index finger and cleaned the surface of the mirror, running her fingertip across her gums then, like a remedy for teething pains. She reached for her wineglass and settled back against the bed pillows, lighting a cigarette.
"God, that's great," I said. "You're tagging all the bases today. Do a little coke, knock back some wine, cigarettes. They're going to have to run you through Detox before you hit Three South again." I knew I was baiting her, but she got on my nerves and I was spoiling for a fight, which I suspected would feel better than.grief.
"Fuck you," she said, bored.
"'Mind if I sit down?" I asked.
She gestured permission and I perched on the edge of the bed, looking around with interest.
"What happened to your stash?" I asked.
"What stash?"
"The one you kept in there," I said, indicating the bed table drawer.
She stared. "I never kept a stash in there."
I loved the little note of righteous indignation. "That's funny," I said. "I saw Dr. Kleinert pull a whole Ziploc bag full of pills out of there."
"When?" she said in disbelief
"Monday night when they carted you away. Quaaludes, Placidyls, Tuinals, the works." Actually, I didn't really believe the pills were hers, but I was curious to hear what she had to say.
She stared at me for a moment more, then eased out a mouthful of smoke, which she neatly channeled up her nose. "I don't do any of those," she said.
"What'd you take Monday night?"
"Valium. Prescription."
"Dr. Kleinert gave you a prescription for Valium?" I asked.
She got up with annoyance and started pacing the room. "I don't need your bullshit, Kinsey. My stepbrother was buried today in case your memory's short. I got other things on my mind."
"Were you involved with Bobby?"
"No, I wasn't 'involved' with Bobby. What do you mean, like some kind of sexual thing? Like was I having an affair?"
"Yeah, like that."
"God, you are so imaginative. For your information, I didn't even think about him that way."
"Maybe he thought about you that way."
She stopped pacing. "Says who?"
"Just a theory of mine. You know he loved you. Why wouldn't he have sexual feelings as well?"
"Oh come on. Did Bobby say that?"
"No, but I saw his reaction the night you were hospitalized. I didn't think it was strictly brotherly love I was looking at. In fact, I asked Glen about it at the time, but she said she didn't think there was anything going on."
"Well, there wasn't."
"Too bad. Maybe you could have saved each other."
She rolled her eyes, giving me a look-God, adults are such geeks!-but she was restless and distracted. She located an ashtray on the chest of drawers and stubbed out her cigarette. She lifted the lid to a music box and let a few notes of "Laras Theme" escape before she snapped it shut again. When she looked at me again, she had tears in her eyes and she seemed embarrassed by that.
She pushed away from the chest of drawers. "I gotta pack my stuff"
She went into the closet and hauled out a canvas duffel. She opened her top dresser drawer and snatched up a stack of underpants, which she shoved into the duffel. She bumped the drawer shut and opened the next one, grabbing T-shirts, jeans, socks.
I got up and moved to the door, turning back with my hand on the knob. "Nothing lasts, you know. Not even misery. "
"Yeah, sure. Especially not mine. What do you think I do drugs for, my health?"
"You're tough, right?"
"Shit, why don't you go work in a rescue mission? You got the line down pat."
"One day some happiness is going to come into your life in spite of you. You ought to keep yourself alive so you can enjoy it."
"Sorry. No sale. I'm not interested."
I shrugged. "So die. It won't be that big a deal. It sure won't be the loss that Bobby's death was. So far, you haven't given the world a thing."
I opened the door.
I heard her bump a drawer shut. "Hey, Kinsey?"
I looked back at her. Her smirk was almost self-mocking, but not quite.
"Want to do a line of coke? My treat."
I left the room, closing the door quietly. I felt like slamming it, but what would be the point?
I went down to the living room. I was hungry and I needed a glass of wine. There were only five or six people left. Sufi sat next to Glen on one of the sofas. I didn't recognize anybody else. I crossed to the buffet table that had been set up on the far side of the room. The Chicano maid, Alicia, was rearranging a platter of shrimp, consolidating hors d'oeuvres so the plates wouldn't look all ratty and half eaten. God, there was a lot to this business of being rich. It had never occurred to me. I thought you just invited people over and turned 'em loose, but I could see now that entertaining requires all kinds of subtle monitoring.
I filled a plate and picked up a fresh glass of wine. I chose a seat close enough to the others so I wouldn't seem rude, but far enough away so I wouldn't have to talk to anyone. I have a shy streak that surfaces in situations like this. I'd rather have chatted with some hooker down on lower State Street than try to exchange pleasantries with this crew. What could we possibly have discussed? They were talking about long-term paper. I took a bite of salmon mousse and tried to keep an interested look on my face, like maybe I had a lot of long-term paper I was hoping to unloaad. Such a nuisance, that shit, isn't it?